The little ole` church lady decides she needs a companion.....goes to the pet store....settles on a parrot.....as the pet shop dude assures her he`s the best for what she`s looking for....sure enough...parrot is polite...happy...makes her happy...everything great!....church lady decides parrot needs to go to church also.....everything cool..church lady proud....all of a sudden..parrot yells..."sure is fuckin` cold in here"....church lady emberassed....runs out..calls pet shop...guy tells her don`t worry..he won`t do it again....next week same thing...sitting in church...everything cool....service starts......all of a sudden parrot yells.."sure is fuckin` cold in here"...lady runs..emberassed...calls pet shop....owner says.."tell you what..try again...if he says it..grab him by the legs and swing him around a couple times...that`s sure to cure him"......she does it..he says it..she grabs him like the guy says...swings him around three or four times...puts him back up on her shoulder.....the parrot shakes it off a time or two and after a few minutes he yells..."jesus christ it`s goddamn windy in here too"

If theres a moral to that story, its never leave your parrot where the ministers congregate, it may pick up bad habits?

Cute

another parrot joke...

So there's this fellow with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "Quit it!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.

Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.

This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.

For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet.

At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.

Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

If You have a donkey that bit and ate the foot  of My rooster........how would you describe it?
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You have a foot of my cock in your ass.