I hear what you're saying.
BUT, it's hard to discredit all this hoopla about the 5.56mm being THE entry/cqb round as opposed to 9mm or 12ga.
9mm FMJ seems to penetrate WAY out of proportion to the actual power of the round. I've done the wet phone book thing and fired at walls in an old house on an uncle's property and FMJ 9mm was suprisingly dangerous.
Given the odds of a hollowpoint pistol round getting plugged up with crap (sheetrock, leather, gold teeth, denim, etc) it seems like a safe thing to regard all pistol rounds as FMJ.
In my experience, 5.56mm seems to loose an awful lot of steam once it gets destabilized.
There is a big difference in the structural integrity of the projectile you describe and mil-spec 55gr FMJ. That cannelure is pretty fragile. Hunting bullets are designed to stay together and military rounds generally aren't.
A 30 round mag of .223 45 gr JSP hunting rounds might not be a better choice than the same mag full of M193 ball. Who knows?
I figure that if you connect with your target in a bad situation, you're already doing as well as can be hoped for. That's why I don't spend money on the latest super-duper-fad rounds but stick to known performers like Federal 9BPLE and M193 ball. Even more so, I try to avoid needing to apply these ideas like I'm sure everyone else does. No hero here, just us chickens.
Another mis-quote/paraphrase comes to mind here from the Evan Marshall and Evan Sanow book Handgun Stopping Power. Marshall described the event of hollowpoint expansion as being icing on the cake but not to be relied upon.
On a related side note, a non-shooting coworker asked me if I'd actually fire a gun in my home in self defense. Naturally, I responed in the affirmative. He asked, "What about the noise?"
What about the noise? What about my wife? What about my ASS?