How do you cope with trying to prepare for the worst that might happen but knowing that I, by myself, wouldn’t be able to protect my family if things got really bad?  I live in an average neighborhood on a nice street, but it has some really bad streets with low income duplexes a couple blocks over.  Moving is not an option since we just moved there within in the past couple years.  We are focusing on getting 100% out of debt right now and are on a strict budget so we couldn’t afford a BOL anyway.  I have a young family and my wife really dislikes guns, but is fairly on board with being prepared (several months supply of food and water, getting out of debt, gardening).  If it got to the point where it was really bad (looters and mobs of starving people), I would be in serious trouble defending my family and our goods since it would just be me doing the defending even if I do have guns and ammunition.  Even if I could hold off a group from breaking in, what is to keep them from just setting fire to the house and moving on?  I have yet to meet like minded families in my area and all of our extended family is out of state.  Does anyone else have these concerns and have similar worries?

If it gets that bad, leave and head for the extended family.

Part of being prepared is knowing when to leave, and having a plan for where to go.

Your most valuable assets will always be the skills you have to provide for and protect the ones you love.  If those skills are important to you then get the ones you love on board.  We can not live our lifes through fear and worry, we plan and prepare as a way of negating that worry.  Keep in mind that when SHTF in the US, it will first be financial and supply chain related - you do not want to be standing in line for food, or waiting on a truck to deliver the food to the store...   not with the crowd that has no clue and is upset that the govt is not taking care of them.  That crowd will be everyone in the neighborhood who is not self sufficient and prepared.  The last thing you want is for that crowd to know that you have something that they need - OpSec, keeping a low profile is your best way to avoid risk.

As far as reaching the extended family....   If you depart before things are bad you might make it, keep in mind that when things go bad, things will degrade quickly and in all areas of the country.  Have plan A, have plan B...  As things do get bad, you might start taking weekend trips to the extended family and be prepared to not return - that means that you have preps there and at home.

Primary objective - avoid risk.   You want to avoid the fight with the angry mob at all costs, live to fight another day, only fight a fight that you are going to win.

Find an abridged version of "The Art of War" - one of the best strategies in war is the understanding of, allow your enemy to destoy themselves.

Don't panic. First you have to accept some basic truths.

The fact that you are even thinking about being prepared means that your situational awareness is vastly superior than most folks. You already have a huge advantage there.

Also realize the fact that "shit happens". You might be set for the biggest SHTF event possible and then get shot in the first five minutes.

Get prepared as you can. Rice and beans from walmart and sams is a cheap way to start. Aim for two weeks of supplies and them aim for a month, and six, ect. It will add up and fast.

Start thinking of what you would do if you absolutely had to leave the area. get some preps for that. Maybe you don't have a specific destination but just getting away from danger is better than waiting for it to over run you. Keep in mind that there are good people in this world who are willing to help those who help themselves. For instance my wife and I have large amounts of land and equipment but there is only only the two of us. This is bad for security and sustainable farming. There are other people like us out there. that is why folks form support groups. Be sure you can bring something to the table even if it is only labor and a good attitude.

You will not be able to even begin to defend your family in a face off without firearms. The bad guys are already armed. As far as gangs and looters the key point is a soft target versus a hard target. Fight or be prepared to fight and often you become not worth it in the eyes of scavengers.

Get prepared, be prepared. Anything is better than nothing, but your most valuable asset is your mind. Stay sharp and keep your powder dry.

If you do not own a firearm, I would get one.  If she really watches the budget, sell something of yours that she won't notice missing.  Or squeak $20 per week away some how.  I don't like doing things behind my wife's back, but I have a duty to protect my family, and sometimes secrets are justified.

She'll forgive you later if the gun is needed.  If you're new to firearms, please practice, research safe handling and safe (kid) storage.

Good luck.

I just read your post and thought about it for a while. I wasn't sure where to begin answering so I began to read the replies and realized these guys just gave you 100% gold advice!  Solid advice above, and all of it well reasoned and thought out.

Shotguns like Remington 870's can be found cheap second-hand.  They are relatively simple and easy to use for beginners.  The downside is their size.
Pistols like Glocks in 9mm are extremely reliable, but have a longer learning curve and require extra diligence for safety.  It is easier to lose track of muzzle discipline when your barrel is 4" compared to 18".

Both of these can be found used pretty cheap.  Places like summitgunbroker get police trade-ins.  Police trade-in guns are generally carried a lot, so the finish gets a little worn, but are shot very little.  The Glocks go for about 330, 870's about 230.


Just information, wouldn't want to get you in trouble with the lady.  The other posters make good points too.

Thanks for the input.  I do have guns and ammunition stored so I am good there, but I need more training.  I have been a lurker of this forum for a couple years, so I feel like that alone has helped me learn and put stuff into practice.  My plan all along has been to go to my extended families place IF things got real bad, but I don't know which one.  Option 1 is in a small town.  They have a self sufficient attitude, but they do not prep and their profession would have many people knocking on their door wanting assistance and then again maybe offering it.  I doubt they would leave their congregation if they had an offer to move further in the country and have better odds.  One member of the family has already said if things got bad they would rather be in heaven than stuck here, I agree but I would rather not just give up and wait to die.  Option 2 is twice as far and just outside a major city.  They show hints of wanting to be prepared, but the only thing they are prepared for currently is with guns and ammo.  They have a ton of connections in the area with friends and neighbors and are well liked so that's a plus.  They might get us in more trouble than I would like though with their Rambo mentality and OSPEC.  I could give more info., but I don't want to divulge to much information.  What do you guys think?

With a family––your first objective is to keep your family whole alive!  If you die because you picked a fight = fail.  If you let one of the kids die = fail.  I'm really not trying to be harsh to you, but I want to put some words to the challenges that you are trying to resolve.  Rambo didn't go to war with a toddler on his shoulders.

Given the choices you listed go to the preacher.

One of the best tools that the family can use is the training drill.  Fire drill, and tornado drill are 2 that we do.  You can use the fire drill as the foundation for other things.  

If I wanted to expand the fire drill into a bug out drill:  Say fire and time everybody to the rally point.  At the rally point command load up––get everyone in the BOV.  Then leave.  For training I might reward the family for good participation with a slushie or ice cream.

Not to hijack the thread, but help a newbie out and please define "ospec". I can't figure it out for the life of me!

It will be bad for everyone else also

OPSEC = Operational Security

i.e. Don't tell anyone who doesn't need to know about your preps, mindset, plans, etc.

SHTF will then equal everyone who knows knocking on YOUR door, begging, pleading, and possibly TAKING what you stored up for you and yours.

got ya thx!

Might want to try to find a local AR15.com SF person! I'm sure you have one near you. Then you have someone like minded. You have someone to shoot with and someone that you can help out and they can help out you. Family is not always the best idea.

Check out the AR HTF. Go to a camp out or two and make some freinds. Plan on bugging out if you don't think you can defend your home. 4 legged freinds can be a great deterent from people comming in your yard if things aren't completely gone to crap. They'll also let oyu know when someone is comming in the back way.

Try talking to your wife about learning to shoot again. It likely will not work from what you've said but you can always try. Bring it up to her as a way for you to spend time together. My wife was pretty anti guns in the house when we met. She got used to the idea they would be there by the time we married. After a year of marriage discussing crime, safety etc she felt better about them being there and wouldn't go anywhere without peper spary. The first itme I had to leave town for work after we were married she wanted me to make sure to leave a loaded shotgun by the bed. Within 6 months of that she had her own rifle and started learning to shoot. Within a few weeks of that she had her own handgun. For her it was a very gradual process, but once she started to see guns as a tool for self defense and the need to be able to defend herself things moved along pretty quickly.

+1 on the ARHTF

Meet up and go shooting with people in your area and might have the same mindset as you...Take it one step at a time....Just set a goal of the most important thing to get and once you have it move on...Main thing make sure you the water taken car of...Then food and so on...

Anytime I start to stress out about my prep or lack of...I just grab a beer and sit down and think about how I'm part of the 3% of people that actually prep...That always make me feel better...

If it were me, I'd re-evaluate this part.  If you're serious, moving may well be the single most efficient and effective way to increase your chances of survival, if and when it ever gets really bad.  There's a lot to be said for being able to create your own BIL in a place that is reasonably safe, defendable, and allows you to have a big enough garden and small livestock to be able to produce at least some of your own food.  Try as I might, I just don't see how any urban area is going to be survivable in any kind of medium- or long-range SHTF situation.  Best case is to survive long enough to be able to get out... and then, as you say, where to??

I would avoid the city like the plague

Given the choices you listed go to the preacher

If you do a litle research you should be able to show the preacher the

bible view of survival provision and protection for family though not all preachers

are "Reachable".  The I want to just go to heaven is a cop-out mentality , The stuff that is

coming is not going to being selective, it comes on the face of the WHOLE world.

i live in the city.  i dont have reletives that dont live in cities.    I plan on bugging in.  if u want some, come and get some. is my mentality.  think of ways you can defend yuor property.  home security is prolly #1.  set up booby traps.  build a moat.  think of ways that the perpetrator would use to break in.  be ready, be prepared incase u cant leave.  why not go with option 2?

that's what you have friends for, SHTF i'm meeting up with a few of my old army buddies #s make everythin easier



 

Making good decisions before and during a SHTF will be your best practice.
Be a realist about any situation,  measure it up,  and make sound decisions.

Oh,  and carry a Big Stick.

great advice so far - I'll just echo some of it with my own twists added here and there:

HUGE - get to know folks through the hometown forum.  go on campouts, meet and greets, dinners.  family that's not like-minded is not an asset.  friends who are, are.

training, training, training.  practice, practice, practice.  fire drills (especially with the load up and go get a slushie part) could very well save your lives.  immediate obedience upon hearing a keyword is crucial training for your children and your wife.  (and you, should she ever need to say it.)  search for your local IDPA matches.  they'll offer more "real-world" scenarios than just standing still in a bay at a range, shooting at a stationary target.  practice shooting with your go-to gun more than any of the others, so much so that shooting it is like breathing, and practice with the others a little bit less, but practice with all of them.

even though the wife would rather stay away from guns, please offer to get her training on how to use at least one of the ones that's usually in the house.  she doesn't have to like it, but if you have children, she needs to know how to defend them and herself.  failing that, get her some hand-to-hand self-defense training.  that'll increase her situational awareness, and will give her the confidence that she knows what moves will work and what moves won't.  (we have a thread regarding SA in the women's forum...  even if she won't log on, maybe you can print some of it out for her...  or have her visit www.corneredcat.com)

being in a "nice neighborhood" protects you from nothing.  nothing.  Chelsea King lived in a nice neighborhood.  pay attention to what's going on.  know when it's time to leave.

the fact that you're here, seeking to learn what you can do, says a lot.  you're better prepared than most, just by knowing you need to be prepared.


welcome to the forum.  


ETA:  almost forgot.  mobs and torches are highly unlikely, so as has been said, prepare for the most likely situation first.

When I lived in a townhouse in northern VA I met a fellow ARFCOM member who indicated that we would be welcome at his place should we need to bug out.  He got to know us over the course of a year before making the offer, and we stashed some preps at his place (not guns, mainly clothing, boots, and basic long-term food).

Even if you don't plan to go with your relatives out of state, it doesn't hurt to plant the seed of preparedness with them each time you talk. I've found the best way to do so (at least the ways I've had the most success) is a combination of the natural disaster/current economy. The economy shows how many people need help from the government just to get by, and events like Katrina show what happens when the government isn't able or willing to step in and people have to fend for themselves.



Point out that it might be a good idea to have extra food and water on hand for those situations.

Concerning the OPs wife and her hoplophobia.

She can be ignorant of firearms.

She can be afraid of firearms.

But she doesn't have to be both.

If there's an introductory level firearms class in the area (i.e., the NRA class) he could convince her to accompany him. Present it in a "let's both learn about the subject to maximize safety in the home" light. She wouldn't necessarily have to shoot the first time around if she's that dead set against it.

After the class the OP could commend her on her new-found knowledge, brag that she's more knowledgeable than any of her friends, etc. If she shows a desire to learn further, be sure to start out with something with low recoil. 22LR is cheap and a caliber I've taken wife and daughters to the range with. With good ear/eye protection and a .22 they have all had an extremely positive introduction to shooting.

Another thing to consider is when planning for shtf, you're shtf plans probably will hit the fan as well.  Let's say you have a family of four and manage to store away three months of supplies away.  Then it happens and your wife invites some neighbors or friends over because you were smart and planned ahead.  Now your plans for feeding four are cut in half with eight mouths to feed. This came to my attention when my wife talked with a friend about how if things get bad she and her husband can come to our place because I'm planning ahead.  So plan for more than what you need.  Also, if you bug in, your neighbors that might be your acquaintances as well will be coming to your house for food because you have it and they don't. It's easy to say that you simply wouldn't share what you have because it's what you figured you'd need, but when the guilt trip and compassion of the moment comes in, you probably will share your stash. If you're not at your house, you're better able to disconnect yourselves from others.  If you're forming a group with others, Be sure that they share the same mentality as you.  Imagine having a good plan, and then the group decides to have a vote on what to do.  Your logical ideas are no longer useful and all control is lost because you've been out voted. Enjoy!

that person could leave now and avoid the rush!  

yes, that's a joke, kinda.

if that person believes in a creator and that said creator gave them life... then they don't seem very apreciative of that gift by being so willing to cash it all in.

however, if you value that gift, it's imperative that you live life to the fullest and do everything to ensure that some punk doesn't take that gift from you.


anyway, to your situation.

even on a budget you can prepare. i'm all for getting out of debt, but you can set aside part of the budget for preps. if you buy food in bulk when it's on sale and have more on hand you can actually REDUCE your food costs.

To add a little more...

Think about the basics.  Trying to digest everything at once and prepare for everything at once can be overwhelming.

Do you go camping at all?  Have a sleeping bag?  a tent? A propane lantern? a coleman stove?
Sometimes people find they may be a little bit better prepared than they think.

The basics:  Do you have a way to make fire?  To keep warm?
A flashlight with spare batteries?
Do you keep at least half tank of fuel in your vehicle at all times?
Do you have a place to go if your place becomes too much of a risk?

There are things you can do that cost little or no money and they better your position.

And of course,  eventually,  you will need to think about a way to defend yourself and your stuff.

There is always something you can do to better your position and it doesn't necessarily have to cost and arm and a leg.

This is one of the issues I have been thinking about.  My wife is Vietnamese.  Culturaly, they tend to be rather tight knit.  So I can forsee in a SHTF situation having to take in one of her close friends (and the friend's husband and two children).  My wife dislikes firearms (has even said she wished I'd sell all mine, but she knew before we married that I was into firearms so she has learned to deal with it) and isn't even willing to learn how to use one incase something happens while I'm at work.  I am trying my best to be better prepared, but it tends to be an uphill battle since she doesn't think bad things could happen in this country (it blew her mind when we told her about the hurricane years back that took out power in the Richmond area for over a week, couple of weeks in some areas).



A discussion at work a while back about turning away people wanting food was my biggest OPSEC failure.  Several people were discussing Katrina type situtations since there had been a documentry run on TV the night before.  I made the mistake of saying that if someone came to my home expecting to take food from my family, the would be met with force.  One of my co-workers then said, "You would just turn people away?"  I responded that my family was my responsiblity and that other were not.  Because I said that if someone thinks they will just force their way into my home and take food from my child's mouth, they will be dealt with, this co-worker has since made comments around other co-workers that she thinks one day I might snap and go on a shooting spree.

I think I might just bag up a little of the probably expired food and give it out to those asking for some.  Consider it Survival Swag.. Maybe I'll attach a little note that says "good luck finding your next meal, have a nice day"

Given your proximity to bad areas, it would not be a bad idea to have somewhere else to go.

That being said, if your wife is "on board" for being prepared but wont hear of having any of those "icky" guns, you need to lay it down for her. You dont need an aresenal big enough to outfit your own post-apolyptical private army like some here have. One caliber/gauge with a sufficient ammount of ammunition to keep you and your family protected is all you need at the least. Dont sugar coat it. Tell her just as seriously as you can that if things get back enough, people WILL resport to robbing others for food and they WILL kill you over a loaf of bread if it means feeding their family. And a stockpile of food with no means of warding off predators (of the 2 or 4 legged kind) is like building a hen house out of cardboard and placing it in a cage filled with foxes.

Part of ensuring the well being of your family means taking charge. And right now, your letting your wife and her irrational fears chance the literal survival of you and your entire faimly..and not even in a SHTF scenario.

Thats a prime example of how to get yourself killed, robbed, or both. If your handing out food that means youve got more to spare and its probably better quality. The age old "please dont feed the bears" does not only apply to the bears.

Yep.

I appreciate everyone's responses.  They are very helpful.  I didn't clarify enough in my original post that I do have guns and have bought more than one since I have been married but my wife doesn't like them and isn't up for going shooting with me.  With that said, I do see glimmers of hope every once in awhile.  Maybe one day she will come around.  One of my original points with guns was that if I am the only one in my family that has experience with guns than that doesn't help with odds of defending ourselves against groups of armed people.  However, like others said, I should prepare for the common disasters for my area first instead of a complete collapse of the country.  Again, thanks for the input and insight.

I'd be more worried about extended unemployment than zombie hordes. Stock that pantry as full as you can, put in the biggest garden you can manage, learn how to can (if you don't know already), and set aside money to pay the mortgage for a few months. Also buy a handgun (at least) for home defense. Disregard what the wife says about "guns in her house," it's your job to protect the family and you need the tools to do that.ETA: just read your last post

If the whole city goes tits up, do this:

It was a joke guys

Don't worry.  What is the makeup of your family?  If you have a kid coming up, then soon enough you will have another to watch the other side of the house.  What I and others have said before still holds true.  You are not able to afford for any member of your family get a gunshot wound.  Even if the event were just the aftermath of a flood or tornado.