I became a cop 13 years ago on a department with about 2,800 officers.  There were some guys that were just legendary, but one guy stood out above all others.  The bad guys called him Pac-Man, after the character in the movie Colors.  I would run into gangsters as a rookie, and they spoke of Pac-Man with reverence, even though I worked an area over 20 miles away from his.  

Pac-Man was a bad ass.  Anyone on the street would say so.  When I finally met him in 1997, I was amazed to see he was a very average looking guy.  He was senior to me by about 5 years, always had time to share experiences with a rookie, and as notorious as he was amongst the thugs, he was equally crazy.  We became fast friends.

Pac-Man was a very proud Marine, and he would give you the shirt off his back.  He spoke his mind, but always had something nice to say about anyone who had an ounce of decency about them.  He was an average sized guy, but he had the fight of ten men in him.

A couple years ago he was injured in an on duty grappling incident during training.  He battled surgeries, addiction to pain meds, and the blow to his pride when he could no longer work the streets.  I watched him go through bad times, but he finally perservered, kicked the prescription meds, and found himself a new job driving some of the departments specialty vehicles.

Pac-Man was as bad ass they came.  I spoke with him every morning, and he had the never quit attitude of a true Marine.  He was a good friend.  He was a loving father of 4 precious daughters.   Sometimes you think your heroes are invincible.  He killed himself today.  Cherish your friends, because sometimes you never see it coming.

Sorry to hear that, Hobbs.  I went through something similar with a friend on another department.....showed no signs of tendencies, then one day on his way home from work, he pulled into the break down lane on the highway and shot himself in the head.  Hard to imagine that things can get that bad, especially when you have kids .   May God rest his and your friend's soul.  

I'm at a loss for words....

Thanks cloak-n-carbine.  Amongst cops, suicide is particularly disgraceful.  This guy was a man amongst men, and he was so vehemently opposed to suicide.  I've had friends die in the line of duty, friends die in the military, friends die from accidents.  However, I've never been so shocked as this.  I am in total disbelief, and though I watched the coroner take his body away, I still think he's around.  I just hope his children do alright.  He loved them so much, it's hard to comprehend why he would do this.

I'm so sorry to hear this.  I will say a prayer for his family and fellow officers!

I very faintly remember Sgt. John Collins talking to our class about a simliar idolized officer in the dept. I wonder if it is the same man.....

Quoted: I very faintly remember Sgt. John Collins talking to our class about a simliar idolized officer in the dept. I wonder if it is the same man.....

Most likely.  John and this guy came on at roughly the same time, with John being just slightly junior.  John and another guy named John White were the bad asses in Central City precinct, while Pac-Man and a guy named Heston Silbert were the monsters in the South Mountain precinct.  I'm glad the other three are still here.  Do you know John through the K-9 biz?

RIP brother

Thanks to you Hobbs for being a man standing behind your brother...

Quoted: Do you know John through the K-9 biz?

No, although I've seen him around once or twice. He taught DT at the Phoenix PD Academy in 98, one of the first few that got the new curriculum.... One of the few things I remember about being there was him, his crew and the term, "you gotta take out the fucking bio-computer!" Whole class was scared he'd pick one of us for a "demo" of DT tactics.

He had several war stories and I think eluded to your friend during a few.

I think he taught our MFF as well. Years later I saw him on several episodes of COPS.

At any rate, sorry about your loss.... that poor family.

Anything we can do?

Thanks everyone!  Right now, I don't know what to say regarding help for the family.  The whole police family is stepping up for them.  For those of you who are cops in or near Maricopa County, I'll post details on his funeral as long as it's not a private thing.  I haven't even mentioned his name yet, but he was a great cop.  

AZ-K9, were we in a shotgun class a couple months ago together, or do I have you confused with another ARFCOM LEO?  Who are you with, if you don't mind saying?

Quoted: AZ-K9, were we in a shotgun class a couple months ago together, or do I have you confused with another ARFCOM LEO?  Who are you with, if you don't mind saying?

Someone else I guess, no training for me.

If anyone in the LE community here was curious, here is the obit:

www.legacy.com/azcentral/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=16892542

Quoted: Thanks cloak-n-carbine.  Amongst cops, suicide is particularly disgraceful.  This guy was a man amongst men, and he was so vehemently opposed to suicide.  I've had friends die in the line of duty, friends die in the military, friends die from accidents.  However, I've never been so shocked as this.  I am in total disbelief, and though I watched the coroner take his body away, I still think he's around.  I just hope his children do alright.  He loved them so much, it's hard to comprehend why he would do this.

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Hobbs I believe that we have a God who takes care of us through these tough times if we ask him for help.  You can't imagine why he did what he did, and from what you have shared about him neither can I.  Brother I'll keep you in my prayers and you take sometime and visit with God too man.  

Hobbs, take care of his kids bro, if he was as stand up as you said he was, he'd do it for you.

Thanks, I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers.  The extended police family out here will definitely care for his family.  This guy had so many friends it was unreal.  I was very pleased to see at the funeral today that the department treated unlike any I've ever seen from a suicide.  He had full police honors, and a USMC honor guard.  It was impressive.  I can only guess at the number, but considering this was a rush funeral, it was a rather large funeral of about 2,000 people.

I am a Christian, and my faith carries me through this.  My heart suffers, but I have the comfort that Jesus and my faith bring me.  I know that the pain will go away and my happy memories of Tim will remain.  It was just such a shame to see his life end in this manner.  Regardless, he's in a better place now.