I met this girl at a store a while back and after alot of flirting from her I asked her out. Not long after she found out what I did and she didn't seem that faised by it but on the date I think I inadvertantly messed it up by acting to much like a cop.

1st we were at dinner and I ALWAYS face the entrance in restuarants to keep an eye on who comes in. Well as she was talking I'm looking right into her eyes right up to the point I hear the door open and just out of reaction I break my gaze to look up at the door and just my luck what walks in but this gorgeus blond with some huge cans just falling out all over the place. So she swings around to see what grabbed my attention and here is this gorgeus creature. I swear I wasn't trying to oogle this woman I just reacted as I always do by being aware of my surroundings. Damn!

What's worse is after we were leaving the theatre she asked me why I kept looking around the lobby and parking lot. Hell it's just instinct now, I don't even realize I'm scanning for deusch bags anymore, but I think she thought I was checking other women out. I shoulda told her why but instead I just said no reason.

I kinda got the vibe she wasn't to at ease with me being "popo" either. While we were talking she made mention that she was joking with her roommates earlier that she was afraid I'd come into there house and find "something".

She did kinda relax a little afterword cause earlier I had asked her if she drank and she said no she was under age, but then later that night she started telling me all her funny drinking stories.

Damn I hope I didn't fuck it up to bad. She did say she'd love to go out again.

All the other guys keep telling me about the cop groupies, but where the hell are they when I'm around.

The question is, has she asked to "Turn on your lights and siren" yet???

This happend to my buddy one time.  We went to grab some steak after a lake patrol shift.  He was hitting on the waitress hard, it came out we just got off work, and she asked if she could "Turn on his lights and siren?"

He turned the required shades of red, and poliety said "No."

He ended up pulling her over one night, suspected DUI.  When he saw it was her, he was nice enough to give her a ride home.  Got her in her apt, and took her car keys back to the office and logged them in as "found property" for her to claim the next day.

My experience is you will always have people who like you just cuz of the job...
And, otherwise really cool people will diss you... just cuz of the job.

Forget her.  She's no good for you.  Send me her number and I'll set her straight bro.    

Tac45,

I'd recommend that you take the next opportunity to explain the police mannerisms to her so that you've set the record straight and avoid further problems. Then she'll either accept that it is part of good police tactics to always be aware, or not.

Quoted: aaaaah. Badge Bunnies, gotta love them.

Quoted: aaaaah. Badge Bunnies, gotta love them.

You do.




Oops

Quoted: aaaaah. Badge Bunnies, gotta love them.

That's one I haven't heard yet.

If a woman won't see past your badge, stick it in her pooper and post pics. I you can't come out from behind it, well... you should just learn to.

The lesson to both sides is that it's just a job. Don't let it define who you are or how people see you.

Quoted: If a woman won't see past your badge, stick it in her pooper and post pics. I you can't come out from behind it, well... you should just learn to. The lesson to both sides is that it's just a job. Don't let it define who you are or how people see you.

That's why I usually try to avoid my career until they've gotten to know ME 1st.

If they ask what I did I usually tell them I work for the city, but sometimes they ask what I do for the city and then I pretty much have to tell them.

I do think it has to do with the age of the girls I date. The young ones are still in that mode were cops are out to get you.

Quoted: Quoted: If a woman won't see past your badge, stick it in her pooper and post pics. I you can't come out from behind it, well... you should just learn to. The lesson to both sides is that it's just a job. Don't let it define who you are or how people see you. That's why I usually try to avoid my career until they've gotten to know ME 1st. If they ask what I did I usually tell them I work for the city, but sometimes they ask what I do for the city and then I pretty much have to tell them.

Tell 'em youre the garbage man, that will sort the wheat from the chaff really quick.

Quoted: All the other guys keep telling me about the cop groupies, but where the hell are they when I'm around.

They were hunted to extinction in my area years ago.
I am married now, but its still tough to find non-LEOs to socialize with as a couple; weird schedules, multiple jobs will do that to you. I try not to socialize strictly with LEOs, and most of the officers now are a good 10 or 15 years younger than I am.

Quoted: The lesson to both sides is that it's just a job. Don't let it define who you are or how people see you.

Relative to Tac45's problem, this is not desirable nor possible for a well-trained LEO! The average person is almost always in "condition white", totally oblivious to their surroundings or what is going on around them. If they suddenly heard gunshots, they'd think it was a TV, someone playing with fireworks, etc. until it was TOO LATE (think Luby's Cafe in TX)! A well-trained LEO is ALWAYS aware of his/her surroundings, observant of what is going around around him/her, and will instinctively react if something goes bad.

This young lady just needs it explained to her and probably things will go OK for Tac45 after that, at least relative to why he's scanning any activity around him.

[This thread made me suddenly realize that I've been unconsciously doing the same thing since the mid-1960s even though I never even thought about police work until the late 1970s. I know it was a real problem with a number of civilian job interviews that I had over those years. Now I realize that if the situation were to come up again, I think that I'll try to remember to mention these traits to an interviewer. Thanks Tac45!]

The only real awkward part was when, on my second date with my now wife, she put her arm around my waist and found my off-duty weapon..... After some quick explaining, all was good! In fact, she liked the fact that I was a cop. She thinks she's safer when with me! What a joke that is! She even puts up with my wanting the seat facing the door, scanning the crowds, etc. I got a good one!

Bub

Quoted: Quoted: The lesson to both sides is that it's just a job. Don't let it define who you are or how people see you. Relative to Tac45's problem, this is not desirable nor possible for a well-trained LEO! The average person is almost always in "condition white", totally oblivious to their surroundings or what is going on around them. If they suddenly heard gunshots, they'd think it was a TV, someone playing with fireworks, etc. until it was TOO LATE (think Luby's Cafe in TX)! A well-trained LEO is ALWAYS aware of his/her surroundings, observant of what is going around around him/her, and will instinctively react if something goes bad. This young lady just needs it explained to her and probably things will go OK for Tac45 after that, at least relative to why he's scanning any activity around him. [This thread made me suddenly realize that I've been unconsciously doing the same thing since the mid-1960s even though I never even thought about police work until the late 1970s. I know it was a real problem with a number of civilian job interviews that I had over those years. Now I realize that if the situation were to come up again, I think that I'll try to remember to mention these traits to an interviewer. Thanks Tac45!]

Spoken like a guy who has IMACOP vanity plates and slices the pie every time he enters a room. Acting like a Cop all the time has nothing to do with good training. In fact, If you have good situational awareness, you should be the only one who knows it.

Some people will never see you for anyting other than what you do for a living. Some Cops (too many) can never see themselves as anything other than what they do for a living. Both of those things lead to social isolation. I had an identity before I put on a badge. I will have an identity after I take it off. Like I said, It's  job. I don't let it define who I am.

badge bunnies where are they? oh you mean the explorers...    pervs

I've got my wife used to military hand signals when we're out and about.  She knows what Im doing and its quicker than shouting across WalMart!  

I know many fellow officers who have had probs dating as cops.  Best advice of 11 year marriage?  Don't date women you meet while in uniform.  Regardless of how they react, it is a skewed relationship from the git-go.  All the issues related to the uniform, our powers and attitudes....just a bad idea in my opinion.

I was lucky and married PRIOR to becoming a cop.  Been maried for 11 years and a cop for 10.  My marriage is more important than my job.  Find a good woman who isn't attracted to the uniform, marry her and BE FAITHFUL.  Especially if you have children.  Not to sound like a prude, but we've al seen the results of broken families.

Exactly. I AM a "badge bunny" i.e. Explorer right now. 17 years old. Sucks trying to be a teenager and then thinking "like a cop" at the same time. And just when you have a normal conversation with someone who doesn't know you're the "cop," but then someone says something, or you make a reference to LE, and it's all downhill.

"Oh, you're that cop aren't you?"
"Man why do you do that?"

Most chicks think it's cool, but whatever. If you can pick a girl up in uniform, kudos.

Badge Bunnies - with no real authority, serving the community for no pay, everyday!

Quoted: Exactly. I AM a "badge bunny" i.e. Explorer right now. 17 years old. Sucks trying to be a teenager and then thinking "like a cop" at the same time. And just when you have a normal conversation with someone who doesn't know you're the "cop," but then someone says something, or you make a reference to LE, and it's all downhill. "Oh, you're that cop aren't you?" "Man why do you do that?" Most chicks think it's cool, but whatever. If you can pick a girl up in uniform, kudos. Badge Bunnies - with no real authority, serving the community for no pay, everyday!

OK...someone needs to clarify badge bunnies and I guess it's going to be me.

Badge bunnies are women(or men in your case!!!) that like cops because of the whole power, uniform, etc thing.  They are interested romantically sometimes but mostly sexual because of the whole cop thing.  

To put it bluntly they want to fuck the police!

Yowww!!
JAdams.

I always thought that they were the stuffed animals that we gave to little kids while we were hauling mommy or daddy off to jail for being drunk and stupid.

Quoted: Exactly. I AM a "badge bunny" i.e. Explorer right now. 17 years old. Sucks trying to be a teenager and then thinking "like a cop" at the same time. And just when you have a normal conversation with someone who doesn't know you're the "cop," but then someone says something, or you make a reference to LE, and it's all downhill. "Oh, you're that cop aren't you?" "Man why do you do that?" Most chicks think it's cool, but whatever. If you can pick a girl up in uniform, kudos. Badge Bunnies - with no real authority, serving the community for no pay, everyday!

you missed it buddy, the badge bunny was in reference to girls that like a man in uniform :)

I find it hard to date a  woman who is interested in me and not my profession. It seems there are usualy two types i find.. The badge bunnies/ blue angels  or the others who at first think they would have no problem with my line of work and then it hits them dating a LEO isn't as easy as they thought and they don't like my hours or the danger involved. I guess it all depends on what you are wanting out of the "relationship". JMO

J

Oh **** I get it now! Yea, that makes sense now. Forget what I said then.......

Quoted: Oh **** I get it now! Yea, that makes sense now. Forget what I said then.......

It's ok...the sooner you come out of the closet the better off you'll be!

Badge bunnies?  Great to flirt with,  but NEVER get involved.  You ALWAYS end up either arresting them or their friends.  A lot of them have some real emotional issues.  (I mean besides the normal female ones)   Bad Ju Ju all around.

One of my academy instructors had a word of advice that I've seen played out quite a few times over the years.

"The badge will get you pussy,  but the pussy will get your badge. "

I know the type you are referring to..... The ones with the FOP license plates, with the "Bad Boyz" cop stickers, wearing the t-shirts with cop graphics on them.  

Family members give me cop t-shirts every year.  With the exception of one embroidered shirt (with the blue line logo) I only wear them around the house or while doing dept/academy training.
There are no LE plates or stickers on my car either.
When I am not on duty, nobody knows I'm a cop by looking at me.  My wife and kids know not to mention anything about me being a cop when we are out in public.  
I too have a habit of sitting so that I can observe entrances and exits when out at a restaraunt and try to be aware of whats going on around me (situational awareness).  The wife and kids are used to it and now, my 7 year old will sometimes point out which chair I want...its amaazing what kids pick up sometimes.

Nothing wrong with being aware, but don't be obvious.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: The lesson to both sides is that it's just a job. Don't let it define who you are or how people see you. Relative to Tac45's problem, this is not desirable nor possible for a well-trained LEO! The average person is almost always in "condition white", totally oblivious to their surroundings or what is going on around them. If they suddenly heard gunshots, they'd think it was a TV, someone playing with fireworks, etc. until it was TOO LATE (think Luby's Cafe in TX)! A well-trained LEO is ALWAYS aware of his/her surroundings, observant of what is going around around him/her, and will instinctively react if something goes bad. This young lady just needs it explained to her and probably things will go OK for Tac45 after that, at least relative to why he's scanning any activity around him. [This thread made me suddenly realize that I've been unconsciously doing the same thing since the mid-1960s even though I never even thought about police work until the late 1970s. I know it was a real problem with a number of civilian job interviews that I had over those years. Now I realize that if the situation were to come up again, I think that I'll try to remember to mention these traits to an interviewer. Thanks Tac45!] Spoken like a guy who has IMACOP vanity plates and slices the pie every time he enters a room. Acting like a Cop all the time has nothing to do with good training. In fact, If you have good situational awareness, you should be the only one who knows it. Some people will never see you for anyting other than what you do for a living. Some Cops (too many) can never see themselves as anything other than what they do for a living. Both of those things lead to social isolation. I had an identity before I put on a badge. I will have an identity after I take it off. Like I said, It's  job. I don't let it define who I am.

well Tac45, don't worry about it and when it happens again just tell her it's habbit that makes you do it, not the blonde hair and large cans falling out all over the place.