Here's a few:

    Once did a Homecheck on a girl doing 7 days for DUI. This was before we had MDTs so everything was on a paper checksheet. I tell my partner that the girl lives w/ 2 other females, all are in their mid-20s. I flip over to her pic and I remark that she is kinda hot. We knock and enter the apartment. One girl is laying on the couch wearing a blue thong and a 2 sizes to small wife beater cut to just below her nipps. The other is laying in the floor in a lycra tank-top and boy shorts. Our girl is wearing a thong and a t=shirt sized for a toddler. All are sans bra. "Box' has always been slang for our equipment so my jackass partner at the time says "where's your box"?  Whereupon they all start giggling. They then start asking us if we want a drink, wanna hang out, etc.
    My big ass is thinking this is a stone-cold IA set up, I'm looking for cameras and shit. We get out of there and I look at retard and say "Where's your box?..Really?" He never got it.

Another:
    Walking up to a house and we can hear what sounds like two people having really good sex. Finally hear the music and realize someone's watching a little porn. Knock, again, again, finally guys throws back curtain to picture window and he's buck naked. Tell him to open the door and put some damn pants on. In the living room floor is a sweaty ass print in the carpet, a jumbo-size-pump-bottle of lotion, his jack-rag and the TV remote. Ask who he lives with and he says my mom and dad but they're out of town and they said I could rent a movie from On-Demand.
    I tell him to stop the movie so I can hear myself think. He starts finger fucking the remote and cannot get the movie to stop. Whereupon my partner (different guy) says gimme that and snatches the remote out of his hand. I yell "eewwwww" and start laughing to the point I almost piss myself. Also the guy had rented about 18-20 movies at $15.95 on his elderly parents cable. Partner is walking around with his hands in the air like a scrubbed up surgeon.


One more:

    Officer on 2nd shift gets to a house and as he knocks he can plainly see 2 people going at it on the couch. He knocks and the guy rolls off the female, puts on his underwear, and opens the door. Officer says let me get her name for your info sheet and points to the girl on the couch covered with a blanket. The guys says you already got her name and points at a name on the sheet and says my moms name is right there. Girl on couch uncovers her head and sure enough it's the dudes mom.

Incest is best!

no not really

last one must have been off dixie.  haha

Yep

On the last two did they do the up tuck? Or try to send it south?