Well , I'm not a Woman , but I have some perspective
on this situation .
I too was married for almost 20 years and had teenage children .
We also drifted apart through no ones fault , other then different
interests . In the end we decided that the best course of action
was to part friends and go our separate ways . The children are
old enough and free to live with either of us as they so desire .
The only real difference between your situation and mine is the fact
that you have met someone else before taking care of current relationship .
WHICH IS THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO .
After that , I will give you my advice based on what I've learned
in the years since my split .
Every new relationship you get into will seem like you both have
much more in common then you and your Ex spouse ever did .
It's an illusion . Fueled by excitement and hormones ( Even At 40 )
After a year or so the gloss will start to wear off and cruel light
day will reveal that your new found mate has some flaws ( And so do you )
Only now you're old enough to come to the conclusion faster then you did the
first time around .
Relationships take work , Allot of it . Along with compromise and tolerance .
The old saying that the grass isn't greener , really is true .
I'm not saying that you really haven’t found your perfect woman . Because
anything is possible , but the odds based on fact are way against it .
What you need to do is take the time to look at yourself honestly .
Not the person you think you could be if you make the changes
that we all wish to make in ourselves but rarely do . In the end you may
find that what you really need to do is to learn to live with yourself and be
ok with it , before you plunge into another relationship because that's all
you've ever known