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Posted: 1/3/2006 12:49:36 PM EDT
Alright Ladies. This is unfamiliar territory for me so be easy on me
 .What would you like to see a guy do on a first date? Flowers? Dinner? Roses? After 3 months of being single again (Long story-painful breakup) I'm finnaly ready to date someone else. Don't make me say hivemind  !
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Posted: 1/3/2006 2:03:31 PM EDT
[#1]
Flowers are nice,wouldn't do roses for a first date. First date could be anything.
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Posted: 1/3/2006 2:41:05 PM EDT
[#2]
have fun
be yourself repeat as necessary |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 3:45:09 PM EDT
[#3]
I guess asking out two girls on one date is a no-no, right?
Just kidding, I only want one. Honest. At the college I'm going to they are VERY strict on relationship between guys and girls. No touching, etc. Can't go off campus without a chaperone either. |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 3:50:42 PM EDT
[#4]
IMHO, I believe it's important to:
- Listen to what the lady has to say. I mean really listen. - Ask questions based upon what she says. - Show a genuine interest interest in her. If you don't, she'll know. Now to the ladies, what about a guy doing the following: - Opening doors for her. I don't think chivalry is dead, is it? - Call her the next day and tell her that you had a great time and look forward to doing it again (that assumes that you had a good time of course). And what the ladies have already said is true - be yourself. If a lady is going to like you, she has to know the real you. Don't try to be what you think she wants you to be because eventually she'll see through the B.S. I don't know much about women but I know they're not stupid. As a matter of fact, some of them are so astute it's down right scary. |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 3:53:33 PM EDT
[#5]
Opening doors is good. My husband still does that for me. Be a gentleman, and above all be yourself.
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Posted: 1/3/2006 4:05:11 PM EDT
[#6]
A note on chivalry....I believe that it died along with the women's equal rights movement, at least with my generation. I'm not saying that it isn't still practiced, but in my humble opinion, if one wants to be treated as an exact equal, than that is what they get (at least from me).
Oh, and while I'm at it...with the sexual harrassment thingies going around, I don't compliment eithor, because it's now not ok to compliment a woman on anything that resembles her appearance. |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 4:31:45 PM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 1/3/2006 5:08:40 PM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 1/3/2006 5:13:31 PM EDT
[#9]
IMHO chivalry has nothing to with treating women as equals. It's about treating a woman like a lady. I mean com'on, women are perfectly capable of opening doors themselves. When a gentleman opens a door for a lady, it's just his way of showing respect. I really don't understand why it's done any more than that.
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Posted: 1/3/2006 5:18:34 PM EDT
[#10]
Not dinner and a movie. Too cliche'd. Be creative -- ice skating, cook her dinner, a riverboat ride . . . something that requires more than a lifetime of watching TV sitcoms to come up with.
And flowers are lovely, but roses, again, are cliche'd. Unless you know they're her favorite flower or something, they can come off as kind of a generic "McGift." ETA: At the end of the date, if things have gone well, kiss her chastely but warmly on the mouth or cheek and say goodnight. Don't shove your tongue in her mouth and don't try to come in. Leave her wanting more.  Only it sounds like you can't even really date at your school, so I'm confused about the question now. I guess if I went to a school where I couldn't even hold hands or go off campus, I'd just want a guy to buy me a hot chocolate and go for a walk around the campus. Or play Scrabble. School is way different than real life. |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 5:18:59 PM EDT
[#11]
Try the "Shocker".
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Posted: 1/3/2006 5:19:05 PM EDT
[#12]
If you already know her pretty well, you might just want to go out and have a good time (whatever that may be). If you know her and what she likes, then it should be easy to offer her a selection of things that would be fun to do. If you don't know her that well, then you might want to go out, relax, have a nice dinner, drink a few cocktails and get to know each other because that's what a first date is all about - getting to know each other. I always know after a first date if either she or myself wants a subsequent date. Remember, a girl has to be your friend before she's your girlfriend.
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Posted: 1/3/2006 5:20:29 PM EDT
[#13]
I've been divorced twice and I still open doors for ladies, even strangers that happen to be coming or going. I also compliment women on a regular basis, which being 44 and in college I get the occasional strange look from a younger woman that I compliment. I guess that some of them are afraid that "the old guy" is hitting on them, but it's not something that I worry about. Life is too short to be your own island. |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 5:32:58 PM EDT
[#14]
I'll open doors for people in general, but the whole chivelry thing died along with the benifits of said chivalry. Women are getting their cake and eating it too.....us guys are doing what we always did, but getting the shaft in all the other departments. A woman treats me old school, I treat her the same way. Bring out the flame suit, but honestly...you want chivalry, you got to recipricate in kind. Also, while I am at it......any woman that won't go out with you because you don't open the door, pull her chair out, bring her flowers, etc....you don't want to be dating anyways...more trouble than they are worth....destined to be a "what do I get," cant change their own flat, take care of themselves type. Expectation of performance versus appriciation of the performance. |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 5:38:04 PM EDT
[#15]
define plz |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 6:25:02 PM EDT
[#16]
I make it a point to be a Gentlemen. It's one reason I have managed to be in relationships with the girls I have. Girls don't like to date losers and abusers. Well, my Ex does, but I don't think most do. |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 7:30:43 PM EDT
[#17]
I think I love you.  Good advice.  ETA: Chivalry is NOT dead, by the way, and I don't think it should be 'tit for tat', either. I hold doors open for men, women, kids...it doesn't matter. My husband does the same. It all boils down to the Golden Rule, people. Treat others as you would like to be treated. It's not rocket science. <shrug> |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 8:44:23 PM EDT
[#18]
Oh save the crap for GD and stop trolling in the WOMEN'S forum.
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Posted: 1/3/2006 8:58:21 PM EDT
[#19]
Treat her nice - supersize her meal.
Yup. Good point. Also, you want to know who she really is, so be honest about who you really are. Don't act you're at confessional, but as others have said, be yourself. |
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Posted: 1/3/2006 9:10:39 PM EDT
[#20]
One thing that does bug me about a lot of 1st dates is that since I'm in a wheelchair at some point in the conversation, usually pretty early on, they ask me a little bit about my wheelchair (which I'm fine with) and then want to tell me all their medical problems. Hell, I can do pretty much anything that I could before my injury, even carry around my Barrett, but I'm not interested in hearing about every ailment and medicine that they've ever take. Somehow I feel that if I told them all about the injuries that I got in the army they'd get pretty bored real quick.
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Posted: 1/4/2006 4:36:11 AM EDT
[#21]
I agree with flowers. nice. roses? over the top until you're in a relationship. (or hoping it will progress into one).
I love when men open doors for me. Car doors especially. don't just get in your side and reach over and unlock (or push the button). Let her in first. Then wait until she adjusts her coat or whatever to close the door. And I'm always very appreciative of this, and smile and say "thank you". Then I reach over and unlock his side. (I've been told that's a make or break for some guys...that if the girl doesn't open his door after he lets her in, then she's self centered, and there won't be any more dates). |
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Posted: 1/4/2006 5:01:23 AM EDT
[#22]
First date...
Cold pizza and warm beer.
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Posted: 1/4/2006 5:31:06 AM EDT
[#23]
+1 I would say my first 'date' with my husband was as quirky as it could be but I wouldn't change it for anything. I had a blast. So do what you're comfortable with - don't put on a show for the new girl because that's really misleading. On my first date David and I went cradad hunting. We put on big ole slushy boots and rolled our pants up and litterally played in the mud! We joked and visited and caught a boat load of fish and cradads. Patty |
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Posted: 1/4/2006 10:46:53 AM EDT
[#24]
I've had good luck with anything where you can just talk and get to know each other. Something interactive is the ticket. I try to mix it up....sporting event (Caps tickets these days are cheap!), art exhibit, museum, hell, I've even gone to the state fair for a date (which was suprisingly fun).
I'll let you know how wine tasting goes later this week....never done that before. I figured what the hell, why not. Nothing to lose and everything to gain. |
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Posted: 1/4/2006 12:52:05 PM EDT
[#25]
Remote door locks have changed this scenario a little bit too. My first few cars didn't have them though. |
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Posted: 1/4/2006 1:12:48 PM EDT
[#26]
Why thank you SP1Grrl. I don't know what to say except why isn't there a "blush" emoticon?
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Posted: 1/5/2006 9:14:51 PM EDT
[#27]
That's one hell of a breakfast. Not saying I wouldn't, but I generally don't stock beer. |
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Posted: 1/6/2006 1:11:50 AM EDT
[#28]
fadedsun- I do not know where in TX you live, but here is something you can try. Go to the local(small) airport and buy yourself a ride for you and her in a small plane (cessna 172 )for about an hour at sunset. Bring along some wine and cheese and have the pilot do some laps around the town so you can see the lights. The air should be calm(no bumbs or chop). This most likely would be the first time anybody has ever done something like that for her on a first date. And I bet you, none of her friends have ever done that.
Now this is the important part, somehow you need to find out if she is cool with airplanes and flying!!!!! If she likes flying, you will score some big points in her book for creativity and thoughtfullness. When I was dating I did sort of the same thing, but I was the pilot and there was no wine and cheese. I would give her a flower(pink rose) and fly her around at dusk/sundown. It never failed to impress. Good luck.
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Posted: 1/6/2006 5:16:37 AM EDT
[#29]
Ok, now I can answer it. Don't go berserk on a first date, this means no flowers, dinner, or roses. Giving flowers or roses on a first date isn't a good idea, and going to dinner is cliche. Your first date should be somewhat novel, have minimal monetary cost involved, and only last for an hour or two or so. Hopefully you chatted with her a bit and know some of her interests, so use them. Examples: go to an art gallery/museum then out for ice cream, a scenic walk along a river or through a historic part of town and coffee/pastry, go for a walk in a national park and take a thermos of coffee/hot chocolate, go rock climbing at an indoor wall, canoe/inner tube trip down a river, etc. |
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Posted: 1/6/2006 9:32:42 AM EDT
[#30]
Unless your first date is during work hours, and is held in the office cafeteria, this info will not get you to date #2. YMMV Not picking on you, Fla...just calling it as I see it. |
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Posted: 1/6/2006 2:51:04 PM EDT
[#31]
*Scratches head* I dunno. It's been a long time since I've been on a first date, I forget what they're like. As usual, daisywench and Sp1Grrl and the other Gabby-mind-readers have said everything I'd suggest, so I'll just go with a simple "ditto". |
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Posted: 1/6/2006 6:26:31 PM EDT
[#32]
Display simple manners. That's it.
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Posted: 1/6/2006 8:53:19 PM EDT
[#33]
like siggy said, simple manners and just go have fun
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Posted: 1/6/2006 9:26:02 PM EDT
[#34]
I'm with you Persephone! And let her know right up front youre a full red blooded, gun tooted man's man. Here's a good opening line when she opens her door to meet you... "hey babe, youre not nearly as bad as I had imagined. That blouse looks great on you, Nice bazoooombas . So ah, let's go out have some fun, get a little ripped and then see what comes up." or "Honey, we both know that we're here to have a good time, let's not spoil it with too much conversation." or Hi Babe, you look really good for a _______ chic. Now put this helmet on, throw your leg over my bike and grap on to something and hold on tight. " Baby we are going to rev some motors tonight! Try and let me know how it works for you. Works everytime for me ymmv. |
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Posted: 1/9/2006 3:56:40 PM EDT
[#35]
Be yourself with manners because eventually the true you comes out in the end.
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Posted: 1/9/2006 4:04:21 PM EDT
[#36]
Not if your seriously looking for a relationship.  But if your not.....
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Posted: 1/9/2006 5:13:55 PM EDT
[#37]
in my 36 single years I found this is a sure fire way of keeping a woman,
BEAT THE SHIT OUT of them, they always say "but I love him" or "he beats me 'cause he cares" Not really, you give a woman chivalry in this day and age, you become the "brother I like to talk to" I gave up a long time ago.. I will stay single as long as I stick to " I am happy with who I am". As far as I have found women do not like a man that does not "need" someone, but "wants' someone. I may be the only one that thinks this way, I would love it if a woman said to me" I dont need you, but I really love having you in my life!" That people is where happiness lies! Why are there no more women like this? |
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Posted: 1/9/2006 5:53:42 PM EDT
[#38]
Let me summarize how I understand your responces.
-Chivalry is good -Romance is good -honesty, good communication, friendly, -don't "bore me to death with cliches" like movies, the infamous Dinner date, or lets meet for coffee. -and above all, open the friggin door for the woman! what did I miss? |
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Posted: 1/9/2006 9:08:42 PM EDT
[#39]
Different girl.
We're going over to Starbucks Early next week to catch up on what's happened in the last 4 years. Can't wait. FS is going to look nice, no grungy clothes. Nice jeans, good white button dress shirt. Maybe I should post a picture? naww.....  |
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Posted: 1/10/2006 9:42:33 AM EDT
[#40]
I gave my GF a single rose on the first date. I think it worked, been with her for 6 years.
Be really really nice and open the door for her, and pull the chair out for her, push it in, stuff like that. |
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Posted: 1/10/2006 9:50:31 AM EDT
[#41]
I think you should take her to a nice place for dinner, then the rest of the night is on her ~ !
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Posted: 1/10/2006 10:26:04 AM EDT
[#42]
Figure of speech, or literally? |
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Posted: 1/10/2006 10:30:57 AM EDT
[#43]
I'd like to beat the shit out of the women who made you think this way. My question is where is the chivalry in today's man? I don't see it. All I see is "me me me" it's all about me. And the women are an afterthought. What is it that men want? I don't get it. I sometimes feel that if men could screw their "buddies" they wouldn't need women at all. No scratch that. I think that alot. |
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Posted: 1/10/2006 10:50:15 AM EDT
[#44]
Shit.. I've done this stuff with women. After the first date.. I am more of a "friend" and a "brother" than a "lover" or a "partner" to them. 
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Posted: 1/10/2006 10:59:58 AM EDT
[#45]
I would agree. A lot of guys are brought up to be gentlemen... then they meet a few chick(s), and they are turned off from it. Why? Because they got fucked over (and not in a good way), badly... they're either hurt so badly, they have to become assholes.. to treat all women in the same way. Either that, or the girls they meet are not interested in them... and only the "bad boys", so they change their ways to meet the needs of the young adult's society. Its fucked, I know. I keep forcing myself to be straight edge, a decent, caring person.. but, as time goes on, the "beast" inside, keeps trying to get out.... |
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Posted: 1/10/2006 11:06:11 AM EDT
[#46]
Voodoo, it happens the otherway too. I know. BTDT. FWIW: I am very close with my brother and his only son. When that son began dating a girl last year, I told him that, bottom line, they were likely to be each other's real 'first love's.' (They are 17). I told him regardless of what happens (if they do the on/off thing and wind up married like me and Mr. Playmore) or split for good, he needs to be the guy she remembers fondly 20 years from now.
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Posted: 1/10/2006 12:23:24 PM EDT
[#47]
+1. |
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Posted: 1/10/2006 12:50:00 PM EDT
[#48]
If you don't "need" the person you love, then there is a good chance you are not in love at all. You don't "need" children. But if you have them and one gets killed in some f#$%ed up accident, you are an emotional wreck, because you needed them. I don't "need" my boyfriend. I make good money, I own my home, take care of my needs, I masturbate to perfection. But if he is gone, I miss him. Over long times apart, I envision a time when we are together again, when I am enfolded in his arms, flushed with passion during an arguement, or just going over the day's news. I need him emotionally because I love him. |
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Posted: 1/10/2006 1:08:31 PM EDT
[#49]
For the price of my ex-wife I could have a hired a maid and a high priced prostitute for at least one visit a week which is much more often than we had sex after marriage. It was fine before, but when I said "I do" I think that she said "I won't!"
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Posted: 1/10/2006 1:17:47 PM EDT
[#50]
My first date with my wife was at my home. I cleaned her custom built .270 Elk rifle.
Ahh the romance!!!!!!! Nothing says love like Butch's Bore shine lingering in the air. It wasn't my most romantic moment, but it did break the ice! |
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