CJ,

Embrace the ride; savor each stage; and express your emotions.  My son will be 2 this month.  It has been the sweetest time, watching him go from this helpless infant to this "Why?" and "Baby do" saying guy.  

Quoted: CJ, Embrace the ride; savor each stage; and express your emotions.  My son will be 2 this month.  It has been the sweetest time, watching him go from this helpless infant to this "Why?" and "Baby do" saying guy.

+1  Unfortunately there's no rule of thumb with pregnant women.  I have an abnormal blood condition which caused me to reject my babies while preggo.  I threw up and threw up and so on the entire pregnancy.  My first pregnancy my husband [or I] knew what to expect.  For all we knew it was normal.  My 2nd pregnancy my husband put photographs up on the toilets of politicians I didn't like [I've always been political, always].  It was kind of funny.  About the time I was really sick of barfing to Jimmy Carter out would pop a picture of Tip O'Neal.  

My over all advice is to be sympathetic.  Especially with the first.  The world revolves around Mothers who have their first babies.  I don't know why but it just does.  You never know what an idiot you are until you've had your 2nd one and have to put up with a first timer either.

Lastly foot rubs, back rubs and know when the get the hell away.  YMMV  Patty

Umm I hate to say it CM but nothing will prepare you

Quoted: Umm I hate to say it CM but nothing will prepare you

"Yes Ma'am."
"What can I get you?"
"Is there anything I can do for you?"

But most importantly, "Yes Ma'am."

Quoted: That doesn't mean that I shouldn't TRY. Darn it, for the first time in my life I'm looking forward to something like that.   I guess I finally grew up, and now I want to settle down with a great lady and raise kids with her.   It only took me 40 years. CJ

I don't mean not to try, I admire the effort. After 6 children I've learned I know nothing. Just be there for her and don't be an ass, even if you feel justified.

    There is nothing you can be told that will make you understand what we go through.  Not trying to make it dramatic, there just really is nothing to prepare you or make you 100% understand.  I've been lucky and not had to deal with morning sickness with either pregnancy.  But Lord bless my poor husband, because my hormones are KILLING me.  I can't stand to be near myself.  I will hear me yelling or complaining or something and KNOW I'm either out of line or over reacting, but I CAN'T stop.  Not because I'm a woman, but because I just can't.  Don't know how to explain it.  I feel horrible about it, so then I get sad.  It's a horrible circle effect.

    And also, exhaustion.  I know with my first pregnancy (Jacob is 15 months now) I didn't get to sleep much.  I was going to school still, so I had to go all day.  But at least I got a full nights sleep.  Non-interrupted.  Little did I know that would NEVER happen again.  So especially when its pregnancy #2, or 3 or whatever number you may be on, if there is still a young one, please dont critisize her for wanting to take naps during the day.  I kid you not, I feel like I could literally sleep for days on end and not even be bothered if I could have a feeding tube!  I know BRF thinks I am exagerating when I tell him how tired I am, or how glad I was to have a nap with Jacob and he says that I'm just being lazy.  That REALLY hurts my feelings because I am growing another person! That takes a LOT out of you.  No matter how macho a woman might think she is, there is no pregnant woman I know who can say they would NOT like to have a nap!

    And just please be sensitive when she tells you she isn't feeling good.  Even early in pregnancy, if shes a feely kinda person, just rub her belly.  Even though she isn't showing, it is WONDERFUL to have your husband acknowledge that there is a baby inside.  No matter how tiny.  Hmmm...I know there is something I am forgetting....Oh yes, all women want to hear their man agree to drive anywhere in the middle of the night for ANY craving that you might have.  Not all men do this.  Even if it's not so late at night, it will mean the WORLD to your woman for you to actually say alright honey, I'll be back in a minute.  Yes, you had a hard day at work, understood.  Maybe we do stay home all day, but maybe at that time we are DIEING for that pop tart, or sunkist and just feel like ass so we dont want to drive 5-10 minutes up the street for it.  Needless to say, it is NOT necessary to do this everytime, but once in a while, your woman will LOVE it!!

That is all for now (sorry for the book) lol But if I have more to add later, I will!! Good luck!

This may or may not happen, but just in case.........

You will be told how wonderful you are,(with tears) for giving her the opportunity to carry your child.

You will be told what an a$$hole you are(with tears and teeth) for the same thing.

You will be expected to understand how a 'feeling' is connected to a food group, and may be asked to help figure out the correct food, like giving ideas, a guessing game of sorts, where YOU really NEED to figure it out.  Don't think that because it was right today, that it will be right tomarrow, it is a feeling, not an actual item, so just get good at 20 questions.

You will gain weight. (who do you think eats the food that is the wrong answer?)

Don't try to understand why someone would eat something, throw it up, and hate it with a passion, and then want the same food again, throw it up, then get upset with you because you should have known it would make her sick.

Be prepared for what my daughter referres to as MMS, Mommy Mental Syndrom.  Simple words cannot be pronounced, memory becomes backwards, (Blonde jokes become a reality, regardless of hair color).

You will stink.  Don't think you will be able to shower, or use the correct deodorant, don't ever think you will be able to fix this problem with cologne.  You may be required to go without useing soap, deodorant, or cologne, for months.  It won't matter what you do, you will stink.  If you go somewhere unusual, she will smell it on you when you come home, use care in what air you expose yourself to.

If she has extremely bad "morning sickness", the kind that lasts 28-7, DO NOT expect a sammich or any other of the other things you were used to getting, for a long a$$ time.

Take an interest in everything she talks to you about.
Especially when it makes no sence, you will be quizzed.
Then when she tells you that you are smothering her, get away.
Then when she accuses you of not paying attention to her, pay attention. (this could take place within one 24 hour period)

Rub her back.  Pay attention and DO NOT try to do the 'pat pat half hearted petting' while you try to watch a television program.  You will be ripped to shreds.  It may not be until the tears stop because she has just discovered you don't really care about her, watch out, it will happen.  She will not care if she sees your sorry face again.  Same applies to foot rubs.

Never use the following words:
Fat
Chubby
Cow
Work out
Walk more
Think of where those ding dongs and fruity pebbles will be staying after the baby has been born.
Crisco
Learn to keep it to yourself if you value your life.

Don't show too much excitement about the enlarging breasts, or you will have to explain what was wrong with them to start with.

Walk on eggshells and enjoy every moment.

ETA: don't call her Heavy Love either, daughter did not appreciate that one.

If my wife got pregnant, sensitive is the LAST thing I would be!

My wifes family has a history of diabetes. When she was pregnant with our daughter, (turned 6 last month), she ended up with gestational diabetes. So she had to give up alot of stuff and really watch what she ate. So, being the great hubby that I am, I gave up what she had to give up. When she walked, I walked, etc... She actually LOST weight when pregnant but our daughter was as perfect as they come when she was born.

Basically, just do what she tells you and you're fine!

I do have a little mean story to tell about our pregnancy. We had dinner with our real estate agent the night we signe the paperwork to put a contract on our house. My wife was about 4 months pregnant at the time. We ate, shook hands and left. We got in the car and started to leave when my wife tells me she needs to puke. I pull to the back and park next to a field. She tells me to turn the lights off so no one will see her. She gets out and goes to the front of the car and starts her business. Just as she's getting started I turn the lights back on. There she is hurling away and all the lights are on her. She wasn't too amused at the time but now we get a good laugh out of it when we tell the story!

I hate to say it, but sometimes women don't even understand why we are the way we are during pregnancy.  Hormones are everyones worst enemy during pregnancy. MrsBRF, MrsG and syntax hit alot of things dead on.
Now let me tell you about after the fact. Do not expect us to be ourselfs right away, our energy level is very low as we just spit out a baby (and it felt like a watermelon). We now have to care for this child 24/7. Our sleep is disturbed and we never seem to get enough. Our body is trying to produce milk for this new watermelon we just spit out too. Some days we won't feel like even showering, let alone picking up the house. Sex? You aren't even suppose to think about it for 6 weeks because of the delivary so we can heal. After 6 weeks, sometimes the desire we have alone will kill you, sometimes we'll look at you and say "you wanna do what?" Like you have an evil monster betweeen your legs. Remember the hormones are still going absolutely crazy for awhile after the fact too.  We will hate the way we look, what happened to that slender little body I had before? Let us know you love us and we are still beautiful, but don't over do it because we won't believe you.
If  I  think of anything else I'll get back to you.

Quoted: If my wife got pregnant, sensitive is the LAST thing I would be!

Mind telling us what the first thing you would be?

Quoted: If my wife got pregnant, sensitive is the LAST thing I would be!

yep, "you've got some 'splanin to do!"





I got 'fixed' and a pregnancy would be a huge shocker!

Quoted: Now let me tell you about after the fact.

When I had my first baby, and the milk came in I thought I was going to die.  They were not just big hooters, they were freeking the size of fog horns.  Bigger than the 8 lb baby.  The pain was more consuming than the childbirth.  I could not even let my arms down.   With each child after that, that was the pain I dreaded the most.  Then the baby can't 'latch on', and the milk just keeps coming, the more you drain, the more you gain.  DO NOT TOUCH THESE!! Don't even LOOK at them with the thought of PLEASURE, you will be banned. (perhaps imagining that your man bag is this swollen will help you control your thoughts).  To start with, nursing causes the uterus to contract, very painful, yet the hormone released during the "letdown" of the milk is the same one that is released during an orgasm, I guess that is why women survive the agony. Also part of the reason she could care less about sex.

Every woman is different, some go through the whole process without any problems at all, I hate these women, we all dowell, those of us who have not been so cheated in the joys of motherhood.

Some women do not lose weight right away.  Some never lose it.  C-sections are killers on getting back into shape. So instead of being an ass, and really expecting her to become a super model, don't say stupid things like, "after the baby, she just didn't care".  She does and will care.  I have heard these comments from men on here when they complain about how the little woman changed, just remember,  YOU DID THIS TO HER!!!  After giving birth, dealing with the whole milk thing never getting any sleep, the 'blues', do you really think she wants to run down to Bali's and use the treadmill?  She may watch the Fitness channel when you are at work, while she feeds the baby and continues to eat twinkies, SHE CARES!  

I wish every man could experience motherhood  It would make real men out of them.  So I guess you will just have to be good husbands and fathers. Not horn dogs and judges.  How you treat your woman now, will greatly improve how she treats you later.  

Just thinking about being pregnant again makes me sick Thank God I AM FREE!

Rub lotion on their bellies, ass and thighs daily. Helps keep the stretch marks down. Plus they like it, alot. Massage their breasts. When they want sex, give it to them. When you want sex, take a shower.

Keep plenty of Tums on hand. Try to steer her away from caffine, spicy and greasy foods.

Keep the house, cool. They get hot real easy.

Tell them they have that glow about them. They like to hear it. If she acts crazy just suck it up. She will be fine in a little while. Make sure the floor is not cluttered and secure loose rugs with double sided tape. They tend to be clumsy.

ETA: Now I understand your other post better.

Quoted: Quoted: If my wife got pregnant, sensitive is the LAST thing I would be! Mind telling us what the first thing you would be?

Extremely surprised - and wanting EITHER an explanation from the surgeon who preformed my vasectomy, OR an even better explanation from my wife (preferably one involving the Holy Spirit)

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: If my wife got pregnant, sensitive is the LAST thing I would be! Mind telling us what the first thing you would be? Extremely surprised - and wanting EITHER an explanation from the surgeon who preformed my vasectomy, OR an even better explanation from my wife (preferably one involving the Holy Spirit)

My brothers 4th child was after his vasectomy.  About 10 years after.  He accused his new wife of all kinds of things, then went and got a sperm count, low but alive

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: If my wife got pregnant, sensitive is the LAST thing I would be! Mind telling us what the first thing you would be? Extremely surprised - and wanting EITHER an explanation from the surgeon who preformed my vasectomy, OR an even better explanation from my wife (preferably one involving the Holy Spirit) My brothers 4th child was after his vasectomy.  About 10 years after.  He accused his new wife of all kinds of things, then went and got a sperm count, low but alive

Absolutely - don't get me wrong.  I would certainly get a medical check-up before ANY accusations were made, but my initial reaction would definitely be surprise.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: If my wife got pregnant, sensitive is the LAST thing I would be! Mind telling us what the first thing you would be? Extremely surprised - and wanting EITHER an explanation from the surgeon who preformed my vasectomy, OR an even better explanation from my wife (preferably one involving the Holy Spirit)

Holy Spirit!  

Now I get it.  Thanks for explaining.

Quoted: Quoted: Umm I hate to say it CM but nothing will prepare you "Yes Ma'am." "What can I get you?" "Is there anything I can do for you?" But most importantly, "Yes Ma'am."

Gloftoe's hit it on the head.
Never mess with a woman with a bairn in the womb and more hormones than a Purdue chicken runnin thru her veins....

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: "Yes Ma'am." "What can I get you?" "Is there anything I can do for you?" But most importantly, "Yes Ma'am." Gloftoe's hit it on the head. Never mess with a woman with a bairn in the womb and more hormones than a Purdue chicken runnin thru her veins.... Yeah, but his advice has pitfalls. "Don't you patronize me!!"

uhoh!!!!

When I was about 5mos gone with my first, we were unsuccessfully  trying to sell our home (it was in the city and I was adamant I would not have children in the city) we'd had no luck so far, and thus, we were doubly stressed. I was making dinner in my $65.00 frying pan that NEVER was worth the paper the price tag was printed on. Hubby and I were in the kitchen, I went to stir dinner and found it seared to the pan (combo of pregnancy stupidity of putting it on too high a  temp and the fact that the pan was crap)
I picked the pan off the stove and hummed it, dinner and all, into the garbage can---all net, no rim, a good 8 feet away, screaming "This thing is a piece of crap and I'm done with it!!!!"
Hubby, who'd been having a relatively calm conversation with me regarding our living arrangements just moments before, just stood with mouth agape.
Silently, he walked towards the garbage to retrieve the pan when I barked in my best Linda Blair voice, "Touch that  F***ing frying pan and I'll kill you."
He wisely stopped in his tracks and said, "Let's go out for dinner tonite hun!"

Quoted: uhoh!!!! When I was about 5mos gone with my first, we were unsuccessfully  trying to sell our home (it was in the city and I was adamant I would not have children in the city) we'd had no luck so far, and thus, we were doubly stressed. I was making dinner in my $65.00 frying pan that NEVER was worth the paper the price tag was printed on. Hubby and I were in the kitchen, I went to stir dinner and found it seared to the pan (combo of pregnancy stupidity of putting it on too high a  temp and the fact that the pan was crap) I picked the pan off the stove and hummed it, dinner and all, into the garbage can---all net, no rim, a good 8 feet away, screaming "This thing is a piece of crap and I'm done with it!!!!" Hubby, who'd been having a relatively calm conversation with me regarding our living arrangements just moments before, just stood with mouth agape. Silently, he walked towards the garbage to retrieve the pan when I barked in my best Linda Blair voice, "Touch that  F***ing frying pan and I'll kill you." He wisely stopped in his tracks and said, "Let's go out for dinner tonite hun!"

If you can share that, I can share this.  When I was about 2 weeks from giving birth, I was nesting so vigorously that I was exhausted.  My mother tried to steer me to a nap... I promptly became 2 yrs old again, wailing, "But, I don't WANT a nap.  Leave me alone.  Leave me alone.  I just want to get one more thing done."  Might as well have been, "Wahhhhhh, Play blocks!  Wahhhhhhh."  

Wow.  Thanks for the insight ladies.  I'm going to print this thread out and keep it handy for future reference.

"Here's what you can expect... Honey."  




Love the frying pan story.