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Posted: 10/22/2004 9:55:23 AM EDT
the gun issue?
My past girlfriends have always been cool with it - never been a problem. Lately though, it seems as soon as it comes out I own guns and like to shoot, I find myself wondering why I made such a dumb mistake as to be honest & upfront. A couple weeks ago I met a girl I was really into. We went out a couple times and I never made mention of it. Things were going quite well until last time we were out. Somehow it came up in casual conversation and I got this look like I had just announced I had the ebola virus. At that point, it was like she couldn't get done with her coffee, get out of there and catch a cab fast enough. If thats her attitude, thats fine, but it would have been nice to know it was an issue before I dropped a few hundred bucks on dinner & drinks. On the other hand, is it better to just come right out with it at first and risk sounding like some nutcase? ("Hi, my name's Shaggy and I collect machine guns. Would you like to go out for dinner?") I mean, I like to be upfront and honest, and I make no excuses or apologies for my hobbies but lately it seems its just a great way to ruin a night out. |
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I've been looking to find out if there is any such thing as a 'shooter's singles club'. No results yet.
Started talking to a cute wimminz near where I live. She likes guns, self defense, right wing politics, and trucks. She thinks I'm funny and smart. She is a brunette with a nice body and pretty face. E-5 in the Air Force (which means I could get into the BX for gear ). Perfect, right? Nope. She also has an 8 year old son, and I don't want to be daddy. <sigh> |
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Ever think you don't have to be a daddy just 'cause she has a kid?
You'd be amazed how much they can add to a life, even as say...... a little brother kind of figure. |
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Guns are a big hobby of yours, right? I should hope so if you're on these boards.
I think you know damn well that no woman that won't stick around because you have guns is not worth your time. I really think you should stick with being honest and upfront; maybe you should have even mentioned it sooner so you didn't waste so much time and money. I'm not saying that as soon as you pick s girl up you should yell out "I like guns!" or paint a sing on the side of your car, but during that first date when you're talking about what you like to do in your spare time, mention your firearms hobby. If the girl you're with gets freaked out and bolts, then it's only one night that you wasted. Maybe an easier way of saying it is "now I know it sounds kinda scary, but a big hobby of mine is..." and go from there. Maybe if you talk about it calmly enough it'll be less intimidating. And then again, maybe the next chick you date will be just as much into guns as you are. You never know, dude. |
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I'm sure your not perfect either. You can have someone in your life who will appreciate explosives as much as you. |
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I hope you're serious . The mother and the kid both realize he already has a daddy and the kiddo probably fears a "replacement" father. Let him know you just want to be his friend, not his father. |
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Maybe your not the total slob you claim.. -> Test |
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Now that I hijacked shaggy's thread, and my problem got solved (woohoo!), let's address his. It is tough to find a woman who doesn't hate guns. But think of what goes with liking guns. Fishing, camping, being outside, etc. You may be able to find out if she likes or hates the idea of hunting, before guns are mentioned. Find out if your prospect likes those things, and even if she might not have a positive opinion on guns, you then have common ground upon which you can introduce the idea to her in a a state of mind (in the context of camping) she is agreeable to. Sometimes it seems that the psycho girlpower wymyn types comprise the majority of adult females, but there are some hotties with their head screwed on straight. |
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My new motto - I only LOOK like a geek |
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haha
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That's not anal, that's safe...does she work in the foodservice industry? I do. |
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Hey Gabs..Know anything about Shaggy we don't? Seriously, I agree with everything she said. I have run into the opposite problem here in Kali...not knowing when to bring up my gun fetish. I have found that men here in SoKal are cool if you like women, think being tied up is cool, have been in prison, do drugs, thumb your nose at the law, and think animals have a place during sex, but if you keep a pistol under your bed you must be the root of all evil. I have literally been walked out on during a date by a guy once I mentioned that I own guns. I have learned that it is best to get controversial things like that out of the way before the situation turns into dating. It may/will limit your dating prospects but hey, why would you want to be with someone who thinks guns are evil in the first place? A friend of my mother's was told that if she wanted to continue seeing him, she had to get rid of her pistol. This was after she explained that she had been brutally raped when she was 12 and that learning how to use the gun was the only thing that helped her get back any kind of self confidence and feeling of safety. Some people just don't get it; and they are not worth your time or affection |
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..... (not answering) |
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In theory, I totally agree with you, but I spend about 95% of my time in NYC. Very few gun owners here, and even just being a republican (especially these days) can be a very big black mark against you. I thought keeping it quiet until they could see I was a gentleman, be friendly, polite, etc would be best to diffuse the natural anti-gun biggotry. Problem is, who wants to put a lot of time and money into getting to know someone just to get blown off because they can't see past their irrational fears? The flip-side is coming right out with it; which usually means another miserable night at home watching TV alone, surfing ARFCOM, and wishing I was out somewhere. |
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First of all, you may have an opportunity to turn someone who's "meh" about guns into a gun nut. Try not to treat it as something scary. What about suggesting a date at the range? "Let's do something fun and different - dinner and a movie is so passe... wanna go shooting with me?"
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Are you my brother? I got the same thing! Shaggy, you are what you are! Don't hide it. Maybe explain it, because the only thing I could think that would be chasing these women off would be ignorance. What got you into guns? Tell them about that perhaps. But in the end, if she does cut and run then she wasn't a keeper anyway. Do you really want to kiss a chick who has her head up her ass? |
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Now that I've finished wiping the chicken orzo soup off my monitor... I don't try to hide who I am or what I like to do, but I don't try to shove it down anyone's throat either. I guess its more a question of when is the best time to bring it up and roll the dice. If you do it at the outset, you may not be given a chance to show that you (as a gun owner) aren't some sort of cammo-clad, tobacco-chewing, militia nutjob many women associate with black rifles. OTOH, if you wait, you can end up investing a lot of time and money into someone who will just cut & run because of their misguided beliefs and irrational fears despite having a fair opportunity to get to know you better. Then again, I've been shot down for so many other ridiculous reasons it probably shouldn't bother me...but it does. |
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30% WHITE TRASH" The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.
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Alas, only 18% white trash. I hope TexRdnec still wants to hang with me.
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big +1 on that, wasted a year and a half of my life with one girl who turned out to hate guns. Now with AK-47 tattoed on the wrist the anti gun types get weeded out when they see me without a watch (unfortunantly though, now I can only attract ghetto girls ) |
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NEVER a dumb mistake to be honest and up front.
ALWAYS a dumb mistake for a chick to dis shaggy |
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Let them get to know you a little before dropping the gun bomb. Most people that I know, even the anti crowd, don't go off when they find I'm into shooting. They have usually decided long before that time that I'm not a threat to them by my actions.
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.....FWIW......my kids are often referred to as "the accomplices"! |
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Aw geez...I can just picture the Junior Fire Team assisting GunnyDad with mischief and malfeasance.... Now, Shaggy ol' buddy....these folks don't know you like I do. Nor do they know NYC wimmenz like we do. Here's the deal: Unless you want to limit yourself to strictly pub-crawling or gym-cruising (and your neighborhood is growing ever gay-er so both those venues are getting leaner ), You won't be truly happy until you find a girl who has at least the potential to be Miss Right....the biggest part of that is SHARED VALUES. As soon as the conversation over coffee on the FIRST casual date turns to "what are your hobbies?" mention that you "like to shoot". That's it. No more, no less...Don't drop the load of bricks all at once. Ease into it. If she grosses out at the mere mention of firearms, she ain't for you. Toss her back and re-bait your hook...plenty of fish in the sea, especially in Manhattan where they outnumber you at least 2 to 1. Lastly, (and this is key) everybody knows you like it freaky (I mean jeez, look at his hair) and, in NYC, the really deviant chicks go for guns, republicans, and guys with values....if only because those guys are so rare that THEY qualify as deviant.... |
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Dude! It took you a YEAR to find that out? Was she that good at wool pullin or do you need a brick to the head? Just razzin ya. ETA: and a half! |
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Nothin wrong with a female that has kids. You gots to look at the total picture. Unless, you just don't want to be around kids. |
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Hey guys, my ol' lady books our room at Knob Creek and reminds ME what weekend we gotta go. She agreed to put off our child one year so I could buy another M16. Last night she loaded a beta for me while I cooked dinner. You gotta find the right girl. Oh btw, she is a fashionable lady, not a dyke. AND SHE IS A HOTTIE!!!!
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Lucky guy! |
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I think the most important way to do it is to act nonchalantly about it. No offense, Gabbasaurusrex, but I wouldn't feed a prosepective phobia by starting off with, "...I know it sounds kinda' scary...". My GF is a yankee and at first she was a little put off by all my guns, but once she realized that I've been raised with them and have never shot anyone deliberately or accidentally and I got her to understand that they don't have minds of their own and don't just "go off" like the media loves to report she's warmed up a liittle. She's still not a gun nut like me, but she tolerates them and now has a S&W 642 - it's even +P+ rated, but she doesn't appreciate that fully. |
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Hey Shaggy...this is my sister-in-law, she lives in the village where ever the hell that is. She is really fun, cool, sweet and SINGLE! She doesn't know a lot about guns but she is my sis so she is really interested in them. She has shot a few of my guns and said it was a "rush". She is the one in the red top.
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But does she want a boy or a girl? |
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Off topic, but why do you say yanks are anti-gun? |
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+1 Save yourself time, money, and pain and suffering. If she bolts at the mention of gunz, she is either a raging anti, or insecure and skittish. If she does NOT bolt at the meniton of guns she is one of the following: 1. Normal and understanding (you're normal and aren't going to kill her, understanding of your hobbies). Obvious good prospect. 2. Already into guns. Speaks for itself! 3. Adventurous and possibly wild (thinks guns sound wild and adventurous and she's down). It may not work out in the long run, but she's quite possibly also adventurous in bed! At the bare minimum it'll be fun for a while. |
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There tend to be more liberals in the northeast especially in NJ whence she came.
Seriously though: go for it, Dude. |
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See, this is what I mean about the "Zen of the AR15.com" or, more popularly, "Afkarma"...good things come from members looking out for each other. Shaggy, who'd thunk you'd get a response WITH PICTURE (of a cutie, no less) from this thread? Go for it man! (edited because my wireless kb is pissing me off) |
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Maybe she had something else in mind??? Does Popper/pics come to mind??..... |
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hang in there Shaggy, we ALL love you! Those girls don't know what they are missing out on and it is their loss. edited for clarity |
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+1. I'd hit it. |
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Gentle Readers, Please ignore the above two posters as everyone knows that their tastes in men are suspect, at best. |
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Sheeeeet......he's prolly just lookin' for someone to make him a sammich! |
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14% Whitetrash here: what kind of BS is this: You, my friend, have class. You are so not white trash. You are more than likely Democrat, and your place is neat, and there is a good chance you may never drink wine from a box. |
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