Special Classes for Men at the Learning Center for Adults

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Special Classes for Men at the Learning Center for Adults

Posted: 8/28/2004 11:57:47 AM EDT

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND ADVANCED LEVEL OF THESE COURSES, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED. YOU ARE ADVISED TO REGISTER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Class 1:
How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays.
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2:
The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturdays 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3:
Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturdays 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4:
Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5:
After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6:
Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.

Class 7:
Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8:
Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 9:
Real Men ask for Directions When Lost.
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 10:
Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturdays at noon, 2 hours.

Class 11:
Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Location and times to be announced.

Class 12:
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13:
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 14:
The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Posted: 8/28/2004 12:25:06 PM EDT

[#1]

Think this would have been better to be posted in the Women's Forum. You risk getting poo flung at you here.

EDIT: NEVERMIND! Wasn't paying attention to where I am, LOL.

Posted: 8/28/2004 12:26:17 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Think this would have been better to be posted in the Women's Forum. You risk getting poo flung at you here.

Ummm.... it was!

Posted: 8/28/2004 12:28:25 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Think this would have been better to be posted in the Women's Forum. You risk getting poo flung at you here.

Ummm.... it was!

I know, I had a severely bad blonde moment.

Man, I'm gonna get crap for this.

Posted: 8/28/2004 12:40:08 PM EDT

[#4]

i used to have that printed out and hung on hubby's office door

Posted: 8/28/2004 12:53:25 PM EDT

[#5]

I'll work one up about women

Posted: 8/28/2004 12:53:56 PM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Think this would have been better to be posted in the Women's Forum. You risk getting poo flung at you here.

Ummm.... it was!

I know, I had a severely bad blonde moment.

Man, I'm gonna get crap for this.

NAAAH!!

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde, gave me a strange look and said. "Why don't you just put it in park?"

Posted: 8/28/2004 1:02:30 PM EDT

[#7]

Alrighty then, where do we sign up?!?!

I need classes 2-5 and 7.

The rest he isn't to bad at.

Posted: 8/28/2004 1:05:26 PM EDT

[#8]

Time to do a skill assessment:

Quoted:
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND ADVANCED LEVEL OF THESE COURSES, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED. YOU ARE ADVISED TO REGISTER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Class 1:
How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays.
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Don’t need. If you leave them long enough someone will fill them or they will frost over.

Class 2:
The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturdays 12:00 for 2 hours.

Don’t need. Take a shower.

Class 3:
Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturdays 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Don’t need. One word, SINK!

Class 4:
Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Don’t need. Makes laundry triage difficult if you cannot see it.

Class 5:
After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Don’t need. Just stack them until you run out then use the laundry triage system.

Class 6:
Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.

Don’t need. Buy extra.

Class 7:
Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Don’t need. See above triage concept. Or don’t f-cking move them once I drop them on the floor.

Class 8:
Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Don’t need. A good wrench is a better gift, (and practical).

Class 9:
Real Men ask for Directions When Lost.
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Don’t need. GPS

Class 10:
Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturdays at noon, 2 hours.

Need!

Class 11:
Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Location and times to be announced.

Don’t need. Hire nurse.

Class 12:
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Need.

Class 13:
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Don’t need. Secretary.

Class 14:
The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Don’t need. Don’t we have people for that?

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Posted: 8/29/2004 2:43:23 PM EDT

[#9]

Of course, you ladies DO realize that if we passed more than half of those classes, you'd lose interest in us, don't you?

just kidding.....

Posted: 8/29/2004 3:07:57 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Of course, you ladies DO realize that if we passed more than half of those classes, you'd lose interest in us, don't you?

just kidding.....

You've been listening to Tom Leykis again, haven't you?

Posted: 8/29/2004 11:36:44 PM EDT

[#11]

leykis 101 rules of dating

and FLASH FRIDAY

Posted: 8/30/2004 9:08:41 AM EDT

[#12]

I've said it before, but I'll say it again.

You gals must be dating/marrying some real losers. Perhaps you just have bad taste in men ???

Perhaps you should look for a man with a decent IQ and personality, instead of chasing "hotties".

Just a suggestion......

My house is immaculate. And I can cook and do my own laundry :-)

My sister's house, on the other hand, is so filthy my skin itches when I walk thru her door.
And she's on her third divorce. But all her ex'es were soooooooo macho...... (puke!)

CKMorley

Posted: 8/30/2004 9:44:42 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
I've said it before, but I'll say it again.

You gals must be dating/marrying some real losers. Perhaps you just have bad taste in men ???

Perhaps you should look for a man with a decent IQ and personality, instead of chasing "hotties".
Just a suggestion......

My house is immaculate. And I can cook and do my own laundry :-)

My sister's house, on the other hand, is so filthy my skin itches when I walk thru her door.
And she's on her third divorce. But all her ex'es were soooooooo macho...... (puke!)

CKMorley

I don't necessarily go for the "macho" type...I like a guy with a sense of humor. Do you have a sense of humor?

dictionary.reference.com/search?q=joke

joke: n.
1) Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2) A mischievous trick; a prank.
3) An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
4) Informal.
a) Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
b) An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.

Posted: 8/30/2004 9:55:35 AM EDT

[#14]

Yes, I do have a sense of humor, but as a guy who's been ignored by women for years because I was not the football hero type, I get annoyed by women who date cavemen and then complain about it.

CKMorley

Posted: 8/30/2004 10:00:09 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Yes, I do have a sense of humor, but as a guy who's been ignored by women for years because I was not the football hero type, I get annoyed by women who date cavemen and then complain about it.

CKMorley

Well, I caution you not to make those assumptions about the ladies of this board. Most of their "cave men" post here also and you will find they are not cave men at all.

But I do agree that many women today do make the oddest choices in men, but I could say the same thing about most men today and their choices in women.

Edited to add, maybe it's just that the jerk to normal person ratio is getting more and more out of wack...too many jerks breeding jerks?

Posted: 8/30/2004 12:32:49 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Yes, I do have a sense of humor, but as a guy who's been ignored by women for years because I was not the football hero type, I get annoyed by women who date cavemen and then complain about it.

CKMorley

Well, I caution you not to make those assumptions about the ladies of this board. Most of their "cave men" post here also and you will find they are not cave men at all.

But I do agree that many women today do make the oddest choices in men, but I could say the same thing about most men today and their choices in women.

Edited to add, maybe it's just that the jerk to normal person ratio is getting more and more out of wack...too many jerks breeding jerks?

i'll agree to that, i stayed single for sooooo long because of how stupd and how much of a pig men can be. but i don't find my own sex attractive enough to make the switch. so i am stuck with men and finding that guy who's not a loser or a pig.

but i have doubt in actually finding one like that. i'm so picky.

Posted: 8/30/2004 1:00:24 PM EDT

[#17]

I didn't know they made classes to turn men gay. That is very interesting.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Special Classes for Men at the Learning Center for Adults

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