Time to do a skill assessment:
Quoted:
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND ADVANCED LEVEL OF THESE COURSES, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED. YOU ARE ADVISED TO REGISTER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Class 1:
How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays.
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Don’t need. If you leave them long enough someone will fill them or they will frost over.
Class 2:
The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturdays 12:00 for 2 hours.
Don’t need. Take a shower.
Class 3:
Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturdays 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Don’t need. One word, SINK!
Class 4:
Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Don’t need. Makes laundry triage difficult if you cannot see it.
Class 5:
After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Don’t need. Just stack them until you run out then use the laundry triage system.
Class 6:
Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.
Don’t need. Buy extra.
Class 7:
Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Don’t need. See above triage concept. Or don’t f-cking move them once I drop them on the floor.
Class 8:
Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.
Don’t need. A good wrench is a better gift, (and practical).
Class 9:
Real Men ask for Directions When Lost.
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Don’t need. GPS
Class 10:
Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturdays at noon, 2 hours.
Need!
Class 11:
Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Location and times to be announced.
Don’t need. Hire nurse.
Class 12:
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Need.
Class 13:
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.
Don’t need. Secretary.
Class 14:
The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Don’t need. Don’t we have people for that?
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.