My wife has never gone hunting, but has shot a few rifles and handguns since we've been together.  I consider her a pretty new shooter (though I have have a tendency to underestimate her skills when she's new at things, which I'm trying not to do in this case).

Anyway.  She taught some outdoor skills classes at a women-only mentored hunt, and has gotten interested in perhaps trying such a mentored hunt herself.  I'm blown away, as she's never really expressed much interest in it, but I'm very happy that she wants to try something like this.

She's asked me (as though I needed ANY prompting) to think about guns.  I don't have anything in the way of a hunting rifle.  My milsurps ("the brown guns", Katie calls them) are iron-sighted and honestly beat the shit out of me, let alone her 5'3" self.  I don't think she'd handle the recoil well enough to enjoy shooting them, and wouldn't then put enough time in to become accurate with them.  Plus, again, irons.

So I have two options.

Option 1: Buy a new gun .   This is never a bad thing.  I'm assuming that, since she's small and has T-Rex arms, a youth or compact model would be a better option than a full LOP rifle.  If we decide to go this route, does anyone have recommendations for model or caliber?  I'm looking for something that would balance power with recoil.  I'm sure a well-placed .223 would do the job on a Texas deer just fine, but I'd honestly like something with a bit more power (on the off chance that is shot is less well-placed).  I don't think she'll be taking any 300m+ shots at this point, so long-range power probably isn't the biggest issue.  Something akin to a 3-9x scope would also be purchased.
Pros:
New Gun
Caliber/model options
She has real input in helping choose the gun (try them on)

Cons:
Fixed LOP on most hunting bolt guns
Not much experience on bolt guns yet.  
May be difficult to test-drive caliber choices for recoil (its important that the she be comfortable shooting this thing)

Option 2: Buy a new upper for my AR.   This stems from her asking "can't I just use the AR?"  Of course she could!  But probably not with a red dot and fixed irons on that upper.  I'd rather get a midlength free-floated barrel and install a 1-6x or something like that.  
Pros:
Adjustable LOP (which could be handy for her since she may have to adjust her shooting position in the blind.  And I means I can shoot it)
She's already sorta familiar with the AR.
Recoil is a non-issue.
MAYBE less initial investment (maybe not).  But still, I already have half a gun.  
Extra uppers tend to turn into whole rifles .

Cons:
Stuck with 5.56mm or .300 BO, and I'm not buying .300BO.

I know I'm not the first guy to try to set out some gun options for his wife, and I want to avoid making all the decisions for her.  I'm just looking for a starting place.

What are ya'lls thoughts?

My wife started going with me at the end of last year, which was a surprise, it was always "my thing"; (I've been hunting 25+ years).

She is currently using a Remington 700 ADL Youth in .243 with Barnes VOR-TX TTSX 80GR ammo. The scope is a Nikon Buckmasters 3x9-40. This was a rifle I purchased for my daughter to use, but she's no longer interested in hunting. I've killed a few deer with this combo from 25 yards to 200 yards and it works just fine.

I can also recommend the Tikka T3x Compact in .243, it's a better rifle.

Why ard you stuck with 5.56?

Get an upper, or a new rifle, in 6.8 SPC or 6.5 Grendel. A bit more power than 5.56 on deer and hogs. A decent muzzle device can tame any of the recoil from the slightly heavier/powerful round.

Because I completely forgot those still existed, TBH.  Something new to shop for!

simple

6.8 upper

OP,,,,find your wife a Rem. "model seven" in 6mm or .243. I bought one for my wife in the late 70s` and to this day it is a shooter. It remains our "house gun" for everything from pigs, whitetail, beavers and anything else that needs shooting. It is light, small and FUN to shoot. I put a Zeiss Conquest on it and it works very very well. The wife ( 6mm) has taken everything from Mulies and on down with it for almost 40 years. Very easy to shoulder and easy for her to handle. Short enough to manipulate from inside a vehicle and light enough for her to carry anywhere. I taught my son to shoot with it many years ago and he is a pro long distance shooter now. We have a safe full of hunting weaponry but THIS is what we grab on the fly on our place. I make accurate head shots on beavers out to 300 yards or more with ease. I do not know if it is subject to the "recall" that Remington has going on. We`ve never had a single issue with it on horseback hunts to chunking in the back seat.

THIS

Job done....though "her" new upper may well end up being used by yourself more once you see how effective it is

Barnes TTSX 85 gr are supposed to be good - the 6.8 has a nice range of monolithic bullets for it now.

Well there you go. Build or buy her her own. Make it hers to take care of, and I'm sure she'll do fine. She like's the AR platform from what it sounds like so that would be a natural shoe in. I did the same thing for my wife and we go shooting in together often.

With all the sales going on this time of year on components and complete rifles, it is the perfect time.

My kids were shooting and taking deer with a 6.8 AR at 10. Low recoil, super accurate and adjustable LOP. My younger son drilled a nice 8 at 294m at 11.

"Well placed shots" and "beginning hunter" are phrases not generally associated with one another. I know that a larger caliber isn't a substitute for shot placement, but still...you may need to resign yourself to investing in another caliber.

I'm from PA, so it was mostly 30-06 and 30-30. But one guy carried a .243, and I fired it a couple of times. Relatively soft shooting, with plenty of range and energy.

Oh, or a 788, though they are getting a bit pricey.

Just get her a bolt gun in .243

TexasNative00

Lone Star Boars

Two of my favorite YouTube hunting channels. These guys pretty much exclusively use 6.8 and 6.5, handloads and factory offerings. Tons of good info and decent video of their hunts along with some gel block tests.

Here’s what you do. I’m 5’4” and need a short length of pull to fit me. After 30 years I finally found the ‘cure.’

Search for Browning’s Micro Midas line. Everything in it has a short length of pull. Theyve got rifles and shotguns made just for us.

If you don't reload then you should.  It allows you to turn out ammunition that is from wild to mild and you will need a lot of it for practice.

My advice after getting my daughter first (she dragged mom into it) into deer hunting is to pick a .22lr and a centerfire hunting rifle that are set up the same way when it comes to the position of the safety, scopes, etc.

My daughter started her process by raiding my gun safe.  She unfortunately has good taste, so she first grabbed my Sako Quad chambered in .22lr and .22 Magnum.  The safety is in the same place on that rifle as the line of Tikka T3s, so when she handed a T3 at a shop she declared it would be acceptable to receive one as a gift.

I requested that she choose a .308, only because I already load for it and had all the components she would need.  I put on a limbsaver pad and replaced the aluminum recoil lug with a stainless steel one.  A Nikon Monarch scope was hanging around in the collection so I mounted that.  She chose the stainless/synthetic version of the Tikka as we hunt in crappy weather and wooden stocks (in particular) can get funky with point of impact changes as well as being heavier than the synthetic stock Tikka uses.

I wanted to keep weight down to 7.5 pounds or less and wanted the balance to be neutral in her hands.  How a rifle carries is important- if it doesn't easily balance then it is exhausting at the end of the day of carrying it over hill and dale.  We hunt in thick stuff (cedar swamps) and a sling is a liability more than an asset.

Don't forget to get a good set of binos for her.  They are an essential part of a deer hunting rig in my opinion.

When my wife decided to join in on the fun she decided to get a matching Tikka.  They are truly excellent values- I wish I could have had one when I started hunting back in the dark ages.  I had no problem cooking up a set of loads- one with a 125gr bullet loaded to 7.62x39 velocities for practice and a hunting load with a 150gr Nosler Accubond.  Both rifles are sub-MOA and I wish all my rifles were like that off the rack.

The light load is a real key to getting practice sessions that are FUN.  The more she shoots the better she gets, and why deal with excess recoil?  She can shoot steel plates at 100 yards and challenge herself with longer distances, learning wind, etc.  The thick limbsaver pad is a requirement in my opinion.  I am not overly recoil sensitive, but the Limbsaver really works as advertised.

When she does enough shooting you introduce a full bore hunting load, and you will know you have found success when she says "it wasn't that bad," when you ask how she found the recoil impulse.  Think recoil tolerance and if she develops a flinch put her back on the .22lr.  Flinching is as much about the muzzle blast as it is about recoil, so make sure she has ear muffs that FIT.

Make sure she has the right gear for comfort in the field.  Boots are often overlooked and women sometimes have a fashion first attitude that needs to go under the bus for hunting season at least.

If you can afford it I would buy her her own gun so she feels like she owns it more.

Id rather hunt with a bilt action but you could show her the options and see what she likes.

She birdwatches and hikes, so bino's and boots are no problem for her.  I never thought much about ear pro, but that's something else to consider.

I wish I could get into reloading, but right now the financial outlay to get the bench AND a rifle set up just isn't there.  We bought our first house not long ago, so this is at the bottom of a long list of up-front expenses.

I'm leaning toward a bolt gun right now.  The recoil pad makes a lot of sense.  I might invest in a scoped .22LR bolt gun just for the hell of it anyway...

Go grab a Savage Axis while they're still on sale for $180

Ya, you will need a .22lr for varmints around the house at a minimum.  I use my .22lr and Magnums all the time for pests.

Excellent that she birdwatches.  That will make her an excellent hunter as you can't shoot the game you can't detect.  Ear pro has to fit right and depending on her size she might find the ear pro made for "kids" will be scaled correctly for her to get a comfortable cheek weld on the rifle.  You can always use plugs under the ear pro if she finds the muzzle blast to be too disconcerting.

Anyhoo, reloading is expensive to begin with but boy does it pay dividends when you are shooting centerfire rifles.  There are commercial reduced loads out there and consider using them.  Keep your eyes peeled for yard sale/estate sales for used reloading gear.  Build it up over time and before long you will not be able to remember the last time you fired commercially loaded ammunition.

Best of luck to you and keep it fun!

Compact or youth bolt action like Ruger American in .243 with a Vortex 3x9 or

An upper in 6.5Grendel
On a recent youth hunt with my son, a 13 yr girl about 5' 90 lbs was using an AR-10...a got a nice hog with it

Double tap

7mm-08

Remington model 7  (243 Win., 260 Remington, 7mm-08 Remington and 308 Win)

LINK

Something in .243 would be a great choice.

A little late to this thread but I figured I would add in another opinion!

As a female, I personally am not a fan of the wood hunting rifles,mainly cause they are often to heavy. I have used a tikka t3 lite (.30-06) and a kimber montana (6.5 creedmoor) for hunting. The Kimber was lighter weight but the tikka had the nicer bolt. Either of those rifles I would recommend, .243 is a good option for caliber for less recoil with enough power still.

If she likes the AR platform, rock out. Outside the AR platform, youth model .243......savage, mossberg, howa

If you're still looking, I would suggest the AR with a free-floating barrel and a nice scope if allowed in your state. The options are endless and well, we women like to change our minds! I have to say I love my 20gauge youth stock shotgun...super accurate and easy to load and fire. I prefer it over all my rifles.

Here is my suggestion.  243 Win, 7mm Mauser, or 6.5 Swedish.  Low recoil on these calibers.  But most import the rifle MUST fit here.  If it fit her, she can manage the recoil better.

Bob

If a bolt get the Savage Lady Hunter in 243.  If AR go with the 6.8.

It does not matter what it is as long as, meets requirement for the game, is soft shooting, fits her and she's comfortable with the recoil after lots of practice. That's the instructors job.

My sister in law came to me because my brother just threw her into the fray. I took an old Remington 30.06 ADL my brother had cut it down to fit her and fit with a decent recoil pad, mounted a 3x9x40 scope. I added a little weight to the butt to balance the swing.

Pennsylvania, MA, VA regional hunting, deer, and bear mostly so I loaded up some soft 150 grain round nose at 2350 FPS average. I took her to the range every weekend for 6 weeks and she did well, placing her shots and grasping bullet drop.

I loaded up 8 boxes of the same load and she bags game every year since then, even took an Elk a few years back with the same load. The 8 boxes lasted over 20 years.

NAILED IT.  I bought my son a Stainless/Camo Model Seven in .243 NOS (new old stock).  Think of it as a lighter weight version of a remington 700.  I wanted a 7/08, but we take what we get when it's not in production.  I would not let him hunt until he could stand at the range and (using a front rest only) put 3 shots inside a 6" circle at 100 yards.  We practiced all summer until he AND I were confident he would make a good shot.  At 7 years old, he could handle it well enough to bag his first deer at 175 yards standing while using the deer stand's window as a front rest.  The gun is the most accurate hunting rifle I own.  Ours will put federal powershock ammo from wallie world inside an inch at 200 yards.  I bought all they had from that lot number in eastern NC that year :)  It would also be useful as a varmint gun or to take on a hunting trip where hiking would be needed.

Simple, succinct and on spot!  

Not only is a bolt action .243 a great beginner deer rifle, it's a great deer rifle for anyone! Beginner or advanced.

Wife has a 243 and likes it, she also uses my 308 w/suppressor

16 in 300 blk ar. Shooting barnes 110. Zero at 170. Point blank from 0 to 200

Very light recoil

Remington Model 7,.243...........

My wife started with a Winchester Featherweight .30-06 but she was already an accomplished shooter and had killed a number of deer with a .44 Mag Model 29.
and the Featherweight is what SHE wanted..........

.243 bolt action. Versatile round. Can take deer, coyotes, prairie dogs at a fair distance. Flat shooter - low recoil.

Browning makes a line of shotguns and rifles for small statured people called the micro or micro midas line. They have a 13” LOP and are excellent. A 243 would have a bit more punch than 223.

Bunch of great options available.  When my older sister expressed interest in hunting 10 years ago, the lightest round I had available in a hunting rifle was .270 winchester, in a Savage 116.  She shot it surprisingly well with 130 grain loads, even the max loads that sent the bullet downrange at 3100 fps out of the particular rifle we were using at that time.  I thought I'd wind up needing to shorten the pull by hacking off a bit of the stock and resetting the recoil pad, but her time at the range proved that wasn't necessary.  She is naturally a pretty good shot, a lot of women are - more so than men I've introduced to shooting.  She wanted to practice a lot, so I fed her a steady diet of 200-300 rounds a year of the hunting load I'd worked up for the gun.  She used them, and she used the gun to take a nice doe with a 275 yard broad side shot on our first hunting trip together in Colorado.  The 2nd year, she bagged another doe with a 25 yard point blank shot.  Then she decided that she wanted her own gun instead of a permanent loaner from me.  So I found her a Ruger in .308, she got good at shooting it but thought it recoiled more than the .270 (I agree with this perception on her part), she used that rifle to take a doe, but had to shoot it 3 times in the process, so she was a little unhappy with the gun.  I gave her the .270 in trade for her "gun".  She killed another deer with the .270, but by now we had about 1600 rounds on the barrel, and the groups were opening up, and seating the bullet longer wasn't closing the groups.  Borescoping the barrel indicated the lands were pretty blown out.  Only available loaner gun I had for her was a Bergara 6.5 creedmoore with the synthetic stock.  Neither one of us like how delicate the Bergara is about seating rounds in the magazine, but she worked that out and bagged another deer.  She likes the 6.5 creedmoore best - lowest recoil for the 3 guns so far, and accurate.  I'm currently working on a Kimber Hunter rifle in 6.5 for her, to see if we can get a lighter weight rifle that she'll still shoot well.  She's shot a lot of my other guns - .243 winchester in a Featherweight Model 70 is liked by her, but I think the .243 bullet is a little lacking, and I can't seem to work up a consistent load for it (it's a really low priority for me so hasn't gotten much attention over the last 4 years).  
Bottom line - I'd recommend something in 6.5 CM.  It's a short action, so guns are little lighter.  Good velocity, plenty of bullet options, plenty of good factory ammo if you don't reload.  .270 is also a good choice, as you can move up to bigger game if she really gets the hunting bug.  I know that plenty of people hunt successfully with .223 where it is legal for deer, but I personally prefer a round that has more energy down range.

Since the OP asked this question in 2017 I suspect he's made a decision by now lol.

This.
Or go with a bolt action in .243, 6mm, or 7/08.

Lots of good info here  but I will jump in also with some thoughts.

light recoil for us he man types can turn into a beating for a smaller person. Average guy shooting a average .308 is usually considered mild but take that .308 in a light youth model and it can hammer a smaller person .

Usual 3X9 tends to get left on 9x and that really is more than needed for the easy close shots a starting hunter will likely be taking and could easily result in a missed shot because the deer moves away before the new hunter can find it in the scope .

I am a huge fan of .243 . In normal times I would suggest one of the "reduced recoil" loads but good luck finding any ammo .

Classic mistake is to take the prospective hunter to the range in the summer before hunting season and sit them down at a bench in their light summer shirt and fire off a bunch of rounds which of course pounds the daylights out of them .

Some of the youth model guns are real light which doesn't help the whole recoil thing .

If the OPs wife is familiar with the AR that really has a lot going for it as a good choice. Some consider .223 as light but with good premium hunting ammo it will work pretty decent if the new hunter is taught what type of shots to pass on. A adjustable stock is a huge plus to my way of thinking .
6.8 isn't a bad way to go either.

To sum up:
light caliber in a gun that fits the new hunter.
Carefully watch a bolt gun for a good recoil pad and practice with a shooting jacket with shoulder pad .
Lower power good optics.
High quality hunting ammo (better bullets).

Consider the wishes and desires of the new hunter even if their choices differ somewhat . Confidence covers a lot of ground .

Do your best to make the experience a good one. Us dumb guys go out in the crappy weather and eat up the suck . A new hunter is going to be less tolerant of personal discomfort . Proper high end gear that keeps the wife comfortable will go a long way. Cut the hunt short if the weather isn't great .

@Deadtired

Update?

6.5 grendel bolt or ar.

a .243 or 6mm with a Nosler Partition is an accurate, mild recoiling, and effective round!

YOu can get a Thompson center venture stainless for under 400 bucks these days(MOA guarentee) in .243, 6.5cm, 260, ect, and drop glass on it as needed you are looking at 800 bucks for a sub MOA bolt gun with good knock down power up close and at range, (which from what i know of texas 400 yard shots arent super rare). ALso you get her HER gun 100% hers, you can pick up a boyds stock custom built for it and drop it in for 300 bucks. you end up with a beautiful heirloom-able rifle vs "an upper"(nothing wrong with "an upper" just no "soul" like a custom rifle).

None.  Buying a house ate up most of our available cash, and my wife's been too busy to regain interest.  

One of these days, maybe when ammo availability gets a little better.

CZ 527