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Posted: 3/11/2002 2:20:08 PM EDT
[#1]
"May cause serious permanent damage to your anus" - My foot
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Posted: 3/11/2002 5:53:35 PM EDT
[#2]
Our packages don't say any of that stuff up here in Colorado.....;o)
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Posted: 3/11/2002 6:06:28 PM EDT
[#3]
Kind of on the same topic.
I have a battery powered thermometer with liquid crystal display for A/C use. When its off, the display reads "OFF". Doesnt that make it "ON" ?? |
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Posted: 3/11/2002 6:10:36 PM EDT
[#4]
Private: "Sargeant, what does the ptt button on the microphone stand for?"
Sargeant: "Private, beat your face for 50! (push-ups) It stands for push-to-talk! Recover!" I could go on for days! |
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Posted: 3/11/2002 6:30:13 PM EDT
[#5]
Just about any food product you find these days has a warning, "Refrigerate After Opening", even things like Senor Vulcanisto's New Flamin' A**hole Salsa, and other items I've never had go bad.
But my milk carton doesn't say a damn thing about refrigeration. I guess there may still be hope for common sense, until some ambulance-chaser wins a multi-million-dollar judgement against some dairy and a grocery chain. |
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Posted: 3/11/2002 6:49:28 PM EDT
[#6]
No.
The best is the frickin' silica gel dessicant packet in the package of beef jerky: [size=6][b][red]DO NOT EAT[/red][/b][/size=6] Well, no screamin' eagle shit, pal. Thanks for the head's up! |
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Posted: 3/11/2002 7:17:42 PM EDT
[#7]
Quoted: Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer NOW THATS FUNNY!!!! DAMMIT, NOW I GOT CLEAN MELLO YELLO OFF OF MY KEYBOARD. LMDAPFO!!!! GOOD ONE DUDE!! |
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Posted: 3/11/2002 7:20:45 PM EDT
[#8]
Of course most warnings are prompted by some moron making toast in the bathtub, which makes you wonder what the GI that prompted the DO NOT EAT warning on the backside (frontside taken up by FRONT:TOWARD EMEMY)of a claymore was thinking or what the mess hall was serving that day to make it look appetizing.
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Posted: 3/11/2002 8:25:15 PM EDT
[#9]
Quoted: Of course most warnings are prompted by some moron making toast in the bathtub, which makes you wonder what the GI that prompted the DO NOT EAT warning on the backside (frontside taken up by FRONT:TOWARD EMEMY)of a claymore was thinking or what the mess hall was serving that day to make it look appetizing. Hmmmmm. Mebbe we should have "This end toward target" labels at the muzzle. You know, to protect against liability in case one of the candidates for Darwinian de-selection breaks in and steals a gun. |
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Posted: 3/12/2002 3:46:10 AM EDT
[#10]
"Warning: Use only as directed!"
(annd then they don't print directions) |
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Posted: 3/12/2002 4:09:01 AM EDT
[#11]
the one that gets me fired up is when ya get a bottle of weed killer or somthyng similar, ya start readin the label & under "Directions for use:" "it is a violation of federal law........." haysuess-kay-rist !! that ain't no fuckin directions that is a fuckin threat !!!!!!!!!!!!
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