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Posted: 3/10/2002 7:21:45 PM EDT
[img]http://graphics.theonion.com/pics_3808/infograph_3808.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 7:27:18 PM EDT
[#1]
[puke]
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 7:27:30 PM EDT
[#2]
well, we'll know for sure if we're lucky enough to have somebody take him out of this earthly realm, for the true messiah would surely have to live again.

thankfully, i don't think we have to worry about that.
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 7:29:44 PM EDT
[#3]
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 7:58:57 PM EDT
[#4]
Ya, another entertainer who thinks he has the answers to all the world's woes. What a POS!!
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:04:39 PM EDT
[#5]
Now there's a face I can really sink my fist into. [B)]  I have a feeling one day he'll get so full of himself he'll end up in bed with Yoko Ono.
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:04:44 PM EDT
[#6]
Sonny Bono... resurrected.  Say it ain't so, bunghole!
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:05:50 PM EDT
[#7]
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:09:19 PM EDT
[#8]
Bono: Drunken Irish Socialist with a Mesiah Complex and beady eyes....

Definitely not Mesiah Material...
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:15:41 PM EDT
[#9]
He would actually have to be God Almighty in the flesh. A sinless life will be his identification. Love for all, total self sacrifice. You would know who you are in his presence. Good or Evil. Every promise you've ever broken would instantly be in your mind, and if in your heart you are his you would feel his forgivness wash over you and join The Choir.
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:28:07 PM EDT
[#10]
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:44:24 PM EDT
[#11]
Notice he lobbies [b]Congress[/b] for aid to the Africans.  He doesn't go to his own socialist shithole nation for money.

Hey Bono, Why don't you spend more of your own tax free $100,000,000 fortune feeding the children instead of expecting the working people of America to do it!?
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:45:56 PM EDT
[#12]
Be careful about dismissing this man too quickly.  There are some rather shocking similarities.
1.  He was born in a third world country that has a seedy reputation.
2.  His father was a carpenter.
3.  He has a cousin named John.
4.  He owns a chain of seafood restaurants with a man named Peter.
5.  He has denounced the most accepted religion of his day for ignoring the poor and not sharing the wealth with those who do not deserve it.
6.  He used to wear his hair long.
7.  Finally, he has singlehandedly changed mankind.

Say what you will, but these seven facts show conclusively that this man, if he can be called a man, may be the long awaited guy we have been waiting for for a long time.
Even one of his closest friends once asked him if he was the one or should he expect another?  To this he answered, "What do you think."  Good enough for me.          
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:47:31 PM EDT
[#13]
I've met Bono on several occasions over that past twenty years. I can tell ya this, he was much more real before Joshua Tree became such a damn hit. He's a real ego-driven asshole now.
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:48:13 PM EDT
[#14]
Bono, Bozo. What's one letter??
Link Posted: 3/10/2002 8:59:11 PM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
I can tell ya this, he was much more real before Joshua Tree became such a damn hit. He's a real ego-driven asshole now.
View Quote


Music was better, too.  U2 has gone downhill sincethen, and the only album that I would call "great" since has been Achtung Baby
Link Posted: 3/11/2002 5:16:54 AM EDT
[#16]
Bono's not the problem, he's just a symptom.  The idiots who actually think he's important and worth listening to are the problem.

He's also a big gun control asshole who needs to go back to Eire.

I will give him one tiny bit of credit.  Someone gave him some shit for smoking cigarettes during an interview for setting a bad example, Bono said something to the effect that anyone who does something just because he does it is an idiot.  For once the man was right.
Link Posted: 3/11/2002 7:27:56 AM EDT
[#17]
Umm guys, for those of you who do not realize it, that was a parody...

Aviator  [img]www.milpubs.com/aviator.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 3/11/2002 8:29:58 AM EDT
[#18]
Aviator I think we all know that . . . it doesn't change the fact that Bono is a horse's ass, and a pompous and pretentious one at that.  [;)]
Link Posted: 3/11/2002 8:39:00 AM EDT
[#19]
onions anyone???

[url]www.theonion.com[/url]
Link Posted: 3/11/2002 8:58:46 AM EDT
[#20]
Man, you just HAVE to love the Onion....
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