So I went with my GF and her daughter trick or treating tonight. Their neighborhood is INSANE the with amount of people that are out. It's awesome.

So we come up on this couple with one little girl who is the sweetest cutest little princess ever...this girl has got to be between 3 or 4, and she is so adorable, and her "parents" are arguing.
He is yelling "are you retarded! are you retarded! Meanwhile the GF/wife/ is saying "YOU RUIN EVERYTHING, GIVE ME MY KEYS!" Do the math.

I got nervous in the service. I wanted our party; my GF and her daughter, my GF's sister and her two kids, my soon to be mother in law, and a 14 month old baby that I talked about in "a mother died" thread, to have a good normal time.

While this douche bag carrying a "sparks" was having a screaming match with his baby momma...my GF screamed "SHUT UP!" I was cool with that, except that my method would have been to walk up to them and say "hey guys, we have small children here and we don't want them to hear curse words." So I did that. Surprisingly, he responded well. He walked separately from his party...with his second shirt tossed over his shoulder...you know what I'm talking about.

However, I am apparently with a girl who will most definently get me into a fight. She and her sister are both the type to talk shit out of hand. What I mean is not that they are wrong, but they talk shit like it's all good...no repercussions, and my GF's mom has told me about this. My GF will call someone out, and know that it's gonna be a fight, man or woman, and accept what might happen. Well, that is all good for your guy friends, but I WILL not have a woman hurt in my charge, let alone one that I care about. So basically, I have to change who I am or change who she is, or get used to fist fights.

Well, I am who I am. My GF is who she is or I wouldn't love her. I can't go around shooting drunken irate trailer-park trash, so I guess I better study up on some hand to hand shit. I'm a big strong boy, and I've been in too many fights, but I haven't won them all...so I guess I'd better get on top of it.

My momma and my GF are off limits. You make a negative statement about them, and you had better be a damn good friend, and say it in a constructive way.

Talk to her about it, see if she can learn to not start screaming at people because of an emotional response, or bail.


I wouldn't be with someone who can't control themselves enough to not start a fight with a stranger on the street - and wouldn't ever put myself or anyone else in that situation, but it sort of sounds like you really don't care about that...  Good luck.

 

I dated a couple of girls who were similar. They would get themselves into situations where I'd have to defend them. Other girls I dated were smart enough to avoid such stupidity. I don't have any desire to put myself at risk unnecessarily because some chick gets a thrill seeing her man fight for her. There are plenty of meat heads out there to fill that role.

Please take this constructively.

If you carry a weapon, and stay with this gal, and she does't change her ways, you are headed for jail. She'll get you into a position where you must use your weapon, and THAT just won't stand up in court.

End of story.

 

You need a new GF. Her mother is warning you about her. These are signs that this girl has issues. Not to mention she has a daughter that she is raising to be the same. I would get the fuck out of that relationship fast. You are going to end up in jail, a hospital or dead.

This.



 

If you're going to take the approach that a fist-fight will ensue if anything negative is said towards your GF, knowing she is a mouthy shit-talker, you will sooner or later pay dearly for it.

Women who talk shit to a man like they're a man are 100% trouble, 100% of the time. Good luck

This, too. If you truly want to make it work, you had better get a handle on the problem, and I don't mean by learning to fight better.



 

...

There in lies the problem. She doesn't do it thinking I'll be there to back her up. She says what she says and means it period. It is the kind of thing that makes my best friend my best friend. Get what I'm saying? It wouldn't make two shits difference if I was there or not. I know that in my "code" that if you go too far, I have to beat you down, and she feels the same way.

Say what you will, but she is the first girl I ever dated that wanted to kick a girls ass for flirting with me. I think thats kind of hot.

Swear it...that is EXACTLY what I think about every time I've been "placed" in this position.

Have you had esteem problems before you met her?

Not trying to rag on you, but it sounds like you are making things that would and should be turn-offs and making them seem like great qualities.



I have no problem with someone hitting on my b/f, nor do I care if he were to flirt with someone, nor would he care about the same.  

Yeah, I get what you are saying, but it isn't the same. My ex would do things like that. I figured out that a chick who gets wet by seeing blood spilled on her behalf should hang with someone other than me. My problem is also kind of a boon. My GF is completely cool with violence, and yet she is a sweetheart who watches kids for a living. She expects NOTHING OF ME in those situations. The only reason I care is because I can not just let some things go. It's just ingrained.

Yep.



When my girl does something stupid that could cause an escalation I remind her that I would rather not have to end up in jail, after shooting someone, because she ran her mouth, tailgated, whatever.



 

huh?

 

Maybe you should try some anger management classes or something.

"Letting something go" is often the best option, much better than getting into an unnecessary altercation.



 

Nice font change. Seriously. I'm convinced.

Seriously I don't know what I'm supposed to take from your post. I post about my GF who I've been with 5 years, and I complain about an observation I made this evening. I thought I might get a bunch of hell yeahs or at least yeah, I knows... I got bold capital letters instead.

I am so sad.

First off, how does the OP know the father was drunk?  


Why?
If he must, then he must.  Why would doing what you must not stand up
in court.  So she has a loud mouth.  Its not illegal.  I get what your
saying, but I would hope that someone carrying has the forethought to
make wise decisions.  Apparently the OP does because he see her mouth
will write checks his ass has to clear, so he figures he better learn
to fight and win.  He didn't say he's gonna take more weapon retention
and close quarter gun drills.









 Its not.  She's got issues.  



You say your gonna marry her?  Well what is bad now, multiplies significantly when your married.  If you marry her, its your fault because you accept what she does and acts now.  Get her to change and understand why she needs to change long before you marry, not after your married.
 

I wasn't trying to convince you of anything.  I just pointed out that you think it is great that she gets physically violent with someone because they flirted with you and you think that is an awesome trait.  Was just wondering why it is that you think so much uncontrollable emotion is a good thing.  

You have someone who is unable to control herself in numerous settings, who has a young child and you are trying to tell everyone how good of a thing this really is.  Like everyone else has said, this is a bad, bad thing and it will only get worse.



 

I'm sorry. I'm not hemmingway if you haven't notice

I've misrepresented her clearly. In 5 years she hasn't laid a hand on anyone including her 8 year old daughter. She talked to these scum bags with no (or plenty) of thought to the fall-out. Take it for what you will. Most my exes would leave or have relations with *someone* for recourse.

So, back to my first answer, do you think that she can work on controlling it?

I know plenty of loud mouths, but censorship is a learned trait, she will have to start teaching herself now.  





 

I've got an idea...maybe you should become my GF...

BIG +1.

That shit will end up bad. You need to tell your woman that when you guys are out and you are carrying, that she better tame her fat mouth. You're the man. Act like one.

The situation is not so clear cut in VA.  If a person is the aggressor in a confrontation, they bear a much higher burden to defuse the situation without using a firearm –– I'm not sure that it works exactly the same way if it's his girlfriend starting it, but I believe it does.  Your girlfriend starts a fight and then you have to kill someone, I can't imagine a scenario where you wouldn't go to jail in VA.

Then you and your girlfriend are well-suited for each other.

Therefore, accept whatever happens (good or bad) as a result of her actions or words, and how you choose to respond to those situations.

csb

change your outlook or your company....or you are prison bound hanging around these people.

It doesn't matter what HER intentions are, YOU have said she will definitely get you into a fight.

What happens when she finally runs across the one crazy motherfucker who'd soon shoot the both of you
than listen to her run her mouth? Then what? This world is full of crazy, violent shitbags and you are letting
your girl drastically increase your odds of meeting these types. Ant girl in "my charge" as you say,
would know fucking better than to do that.

I'm not saying you should break up with her, but she needs a "Come to Jesus" speech yesterday about
compromising her and your safety.

Eject ,Eject .Eject .....!

You guys are a good match... enjoy!

Sometimes you need to explain that if they start something they can't handle, they will be the first one hit.  

Have the producers of Jerry Springer called you back yet?  This does not have the markings of relationship that will end well.




 
 

Great minds think alike

You may not like what I have to say, but this type of behavior is immature and irresponsibe at best. She will at some point say things like this to someone who will react, placing all of you in a bad position, including her child. If it were me, she either matures up now- and I mean today, or I am out.

you should decide if you're willing to accept that sort of behavior.  If not,eject.  If you are, have fun in jail.

MMM ya girls that talk the tough shit and put you automatically in a bad spot taint to good to have around if you ask me.

My guess would be your relationship with your GF is all drama all the time?

Caused a break up for me as well.  Old Girl used to mad dog the shit out of people and talk shit.  I tried to explain that we had to be low key and avoid dumb shit because I would end up shooting someone in the face - Things didnt change, and I moved on.  She had issues anyway.

You guys are slipping.

Part of becoming an adult is learning not to say everything you think, or display every emotion that you feel.

nothing more needs to be said...

Your GF is going to get you into big trouble.


That said, I don't think she is doing this on purpose.  This goes wayyyy back in her psyche. And, she WILL repeat the same reaction.  It may be a daddy issue or something that is just in her nature.  In moments when tempers flare, she "gets back" the troublemaker with her comments once she sees that the situation was resolved.  My suspicion is that she has a family with several uncles on her father's side who were/are very close in adulthood.


This does not make her a bad person.  This can be fixed.


My wife, when she was then my GF had a similarly opposite effect.  In the few times when trouble was going down, she would NOT get my back, and instead would try to argue with me.  Arguing with, or deflating me when I need to NOT back down is very bad.  These were situations where it was nesciscary to hold my ground.  I am not one to get into fights at all either.  But if I am going to flinch, it better be for damn good reason.   After a few instances and discussions over the topic, she is MUCH better about it now.  I do believe that her behavior was a result of some daddy-issue where the family would be trying to reign someone in from fighting.  The men on their side are very confrontational and got into really dumb fights, and the women did have to reign them in constantly.  I do not confront the same way so the reaction had to be changed to be supportive.

"tell that bitch Be Cool!!"

In not so many words, and that big girl situations have big girl ramifications..  Not to mention, her screaming at people screaming is well...  Water seeks it's own level, bud..  That's all I'm saying..

the girl always get her man into fights

Were you drunk when you wrote this or just part of the trailer culture?

Someone's gonna Sarah Silverman your GF and it's the only way she'll ever learn to keep her mouth shut.

maybe she's thinking "my bf/fiance has a gun, whatever i do what i want!"