Was COBRA the WORST motion picture ever made?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Was COBRA the WORST motion picture ever made?

Posted: 2/8/2002 5:56:44 PM EDT

No. Just about any of Stallone's other films are worse.

We could hypothesize the worst movie of all time. The cast would include Sylvester Stallone, Keanu Reeves, and Tom Cruise. The plot would be the three of them play Hare Krishna hit men sent to Australia by the New York mob to take out Crocodile Dundee. Paul Hogan would make a cameo appearance, as would Linda Kozlowski's ass.

Actually, delete Linda Kozlowski from the script. She adds too much intrinsic interest to the plot.

Posted: 2/8/2002 6:03:25 PM EDT

[#1]

For an opposite point of view see here:

http://www.crappybobandnicbig.com/canforums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=762

Posted: 2/8/2002 6:48:51 PM EDT

[#2]

As bad as COBRA was I've seen worse...Like "Billy the Kid Meets Frankenstein", or my all time favorite "Knives of the Avenger" starring Cameron Mitchell. Read this little Scandinavian effort as a gunfighter movie, only he's a Viking armed with an inexhaustible supply of knives.

Trying to name the BEST movie makes for an interesting debate. Naming the WORST movie is an impossible task...there are SO MANY candidates.

Posted: 2/8/2002 7:02:47 PM EDT

[#3]

on the grand scale of movies: WAY closer to worst than compared to the best.

on the grand scale of Sly Stallone movies: closer to the top. Certainly better than "Over The Top".

Posted: 2/8/2002 7:08:56 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
on the grand scale of movies: WAY closer to worst than compared to the best.

on the grand scale of Sly Stallone movies: closer to the top. Certainly better than "Over The Top".

View Quote

Yeah Over the Top was even worse. I think Stallone demanded the right to direct or write 3 movies as part of some deal back when he was really hot. I think the 3 were Cobra, Over the Top and I can't remember the name of the third, maybe something about a labor union and his brother was in it?

Posted: 2/8/2002 7:16:26 PM EDT

[#5]

No, No, No!!! The WORST movie ever made is ....

"Plan 9 from Outer Space".

It's so bad, it's good.

Vulcan94

Posted: 2/8/2002 7:22:07 PM EDT

[#6]

My vote is Plan 9 too, the WORST.

Posted: 2/8/2002 7:27:31 PM EDT

[#7]

Although, "The Crawling Eye" does come in a close second. [whacko]

Vulcan94

Posted: 2/8/2002 9:00:15 PM EDT

[#8]

"Kentucky Fried Movie"

"My Private Idaho"

Posted: 2/8/2002 9:07:11 PM EDT

[#9]

yes,.....the movie COBRA was ABSOLUTELY not worth destroying that old Merc Sly was driving.

Posted: 2/8/2002 9:07:40 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
"Kentucky Fried Movie"

View Quote

whoah! you mean [b]BREAST[/b] movie, right?

Posted: 2/9/2002 2:09:08 AM EDT

[#11]

You must admit, "Tango and Cash" is right up there. Er, down there. Sly is a millionaire who's a cop for fun in his spare time. He wears Armani suits on the job. Downhill from there.

Posted: 2/9/2002 2:25:35 AM EDT

[#12]

"Stop or My Mom Will Shoot" gets my vote as all-time worst Stallone movie.

Posted: 2/9/2002 4:43:59 AM EDT

[#13]

It's a shame that more people don't see the real genius that was "COBRA".

The movie COBRA was perfection, and finding any fault with COBRA is only admitting your own imperfections.

When I go to a movie I want a couple of things.
1. I want to see some guns
2. I want the good guy to win.
3. I don't want to worry about reality whilst watching the movie.

COBRA has satisfied all three of these perfectly. The one liners are great, and I never worried that COBRA was going to get his ass kicked, nor did I worry that he wasn't going to shoot every bad guy on the screen.

I know some of you like to act smart and break movies down and look at acting, script, directing and all that crap. But it's really not so hard. If I think the movie is the best movie ever made. It is.

Posted: 2/9/2002 7:57:03 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
"Stop or My Mom Will Shoot" gets my vote as all-time worst Stallone movie.

View Quote

Ohhhh! I forgot about that tragedy. Yes that sucked. -3 on a scale of "1 - 10".

Then there was the Schwarzenegger knockoff, "Kindergarden Cop". Even more shitty.

Posted: 2/9/2002 8:02:26 AM EDT

[#15]

I gotta go with "The Way We Were" for all time worst.

Posted: 2/9/2002 8:31:34 AM EDT

[#16]

Hey Crappy:
Lets get some guys together and bang axes some time.
Give me a break. I rented that movie and it's the last time I'm taking a reccomendation from you.
Jeez what was i thinking?

Posted: 2/9/2002 8:53:29 AM EDT

[#17]

Hands f'in down........Blair Witch Project. I should sue those bastards to get that wasted 90 minutes of my life back.

Posted: 2/9/2002 8:56:52 AM EDT

[#18]

Eyes Wide Shut pops to mind.

Posted: 2/9/2002 10:19:45 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Hands f'in down........Blair Witch Project. I should sue those bastards to get that wasted 90 minutes of my life back.

View Quote

I second Ghettoblaster's nomination. Class action?

Posted: 2/9/2002 10:58:06 AM EDT

[#20]

I have to say, most of Sly's movies rank near the bottom. [i]Get Carter[/i] blew a pretty fat one! Although, [i]Cobra[/i] was pretty bad too!

Posted: 2/9/2002 11:04:55 AM EDT

[#21]

Two Words- JUDGE DREAD

Posted: 2/9/2002 4:10:52 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
When I go to a movie I want a couple of things.
2. I want the good guy to win.

View Quote

Since when is a draft dodging, Clinton loving, gun hating, asshole (Stallone) the good guy?

Posted: 2/9/2002 4:31:39 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
[i]Get Carter[/i] blew a pretty fat one!

View Quote

[i]You saw that?[/i]

To this day, I haven't met a single person who's seen that movie.

What about 'Driven'? Stallone was in it, so it had to suck, but the cars and Gena Gershon(sp) would've gotten me through it. Anybody see it?

Posted: 2/9/2002 4:48:01 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Eyes Wide Shut pops to mind.

View Quote

Butt it did feature Nicole's ass.

Posted: 2/9/2002 6:00:12 PM EDT

[#25]

Stallone has made a bunch of lousy movies. In fact I think other than the original Rocky and Rambo movies all of his movies have been garbage.

Anyone remember Paradise Alley or Rhinestone Cowboy?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Was COBRA the WORST motion picture ever made?

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