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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:17:14 AM EDT
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her.
So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist 
Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking  .
So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:18:47 AM EDT
[#1]
Gag reflex, not so deep next time.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:20:14 AM EDT
[#2]
Gag reflex, not so deep next time
ROTFLMAO! |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:20:18 AM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time. 
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:20:29 AM EDT
[#4]
You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place.
I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score. |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:21:19 AM EDT
[#5]
You failed to hit it, so you receive a "nice try, but you fail" award.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:21:29 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her. So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist
Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .
So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it!  everyone else has 
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:23:11 AM EDT
[#7]
mandatory pics missing, fail.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:24:34 AM EDT
[#8]
Which Erotic Services Craigslist posting did you reply to?
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:26:25 AM EDT
[#9]
Quoted:
Which Erotic Services Craigslist posting did you reply to? Erotic shemale foot massager 
hahahhahah Jk |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:26:56 AM EDT
[#10]
well, at least she isn't a Navy girl...you know what they say about Navy girls.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:28:38 AM EDT
[#11]
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth.
I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:29:50 AM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:
Quoted:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her. So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist
Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .
So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it! everyone else has AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA> That is sum truth there. If she will sleep with you that quick, who else is she sleeping with. Oh wait, she said you were special and lemme guess she said "Ive never just brought a guy I just met home b4" LOL.. |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:38:15 AM EDT
[#13]
Ah that's nice. You made a friend.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:39:53 AM EDT
[#14]
hahahaha she is army and you are joining the navy... and you want to marry her? FYI this WILL end in epic failure
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:40:49 AM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place. I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score. +1 women+military=whore (or i have often noticed) |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:42:08 AM EDT
[#16]
Pics orBS.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:43:44 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time. haha, someone had to say it.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:44:02 AM EDT
[#18]
should have hit it while she was puking. makes the walls tighter.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:44:20 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:44:26 AM EDT
[#20]
Trust me on this. That kentucky jelly tastes like shit.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:45:02 AM EDT
[#21]
No pics/No score Massive FAIL!
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:45:25 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.that was epic |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:46:11 AM EDT
[#23]
Jesus, you tried to hit an Army chick.
did she have one of those NSN reorder numbers on her lower back? |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:46:41 AM EDT
[#24]
Take a bath next time before you go out.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:47:51 AM EDT
[#25]
So how did I taste?
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:48:55 AM EDT
[#26]
you came on arfcom bragging about a chic, and NO PICS?
we all know now that this is 
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:52:10 AM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.You are one sick puppy-dawg. 
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:54:06 AM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 8:56:52 AM EDT
[#29]
Girl of your dreams and whore should not be 2 in one
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:02:37 AM EDT
[#30]
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:03:10 AM EDT
[#31]
I love this place. Oh yeah, pics or GTFO. 
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:07:07 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time. lulz |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:16:10 AM EDT
[#33]
I sense potential win in this thread.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:17:51 AM EDT
[#34]
Quoted:
well, at least she isn't a Navy girl...you know what they say about Navy girls. They have enormous asses?
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:20:51 AM EDT
[#35]
This. Keep it zipped or it will be growing something the next morning
 Quoted: Quoted: You were probably the 4th guy that night to come back to her place. I'd give you a 2/10 since you did not score. +1 women+military=whore (or i have often noticed) |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:21:19 AM EDT
[#36]
no pics = fail
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:26:33 AM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:27:55 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted: Quoted: Gag reflex, not so deep next time. lulz /Thread. |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:36:59 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.Verified service in the USMC right here folks. This guy is legit. |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:38:40 AM EDT
[#40]
Quoted:
Quoted:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her. So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist
Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .
So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? Sounds like you did as well as the guy on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Well, you didn't actually fuck her, and they probably did, but anyway...enjoy it! everyone else has The Truth - Sometimes it's a fucking shoe in the ball! |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:40:15 AM EDT
[#41]
Quoted:
Trust me on this. That kentucky jelly tastes like shit. What? 
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:53:03 AM EDT
[#42]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.Verified service in the USMC right here folks. This guy is legit. No question about it.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 9:55:03 AM EDT
[#43]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.Verified service in the USMC right here folks. This guy is legit. No question about it. The real question is....did he pop on her stump
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Posted: 5/1/2009 10:01:19 AM EDT
[#44]
Quoted:
I didn't let a chick missing an arm stop me once as a Marine if you join the navy you'll need to be willing to overlook minor things like regurgitated food stuck in her teeth. I even used an ottoman at my buddies house to prop her up whilst doing it doggy style. The only thing that almost broke the deal is that my buddies Rottweiler (Sputnik) was sitting there about a foot from her face staring at her and was emitting a low growl (and a couple Alpo farts). I admit I was half tempted to tell him to attack her. I had a fleeting vision of having sex with someone whilst they were being mauled. Those were the days. Not a care in the world... Is that weird? I think a dog mauling goes beyond S&M. And if you have a 1 armed sister that lives around Quantico Virginia. I am real sorry about treating her like a pig. she swore she loved it.WINNER!! |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 10:01:21 AM EDT
[#45]
Here is a pic of him her. Do not marry the shemale. It will get out of service before you then take half your pay. 
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Posted: 5/1/2009 10:05:39 AM EDT
[#46]
Quoted:
So there I was at my friends party, then bam this blonde walks in, immediately I am intrigued by her. So I start talking to her, one drink leads to three or four, and then next thing I know shes like hey you should come back to my place, so Im like well okay if you insist
Get there, we start off with the usual who knows what song better contest, start off on the floor, end up in the bed, then of course she starts puking .
So she gets done doing that, at that point in time I am no longer interested in doing anything and opt to go to sleep, So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. Heres the best part, she keeps a handgun right next to her KY gel. I just wanted to be like so we both get pay raises if we get married( I am joining Navy) So how did I do for a thur night? 
Watch out for your cornhole dude! |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 10:09:14 AM EDT
[#47]
Quoted:
So I then see ACU's in the corner of her room, turns out shes a E-5 in the Army. I wonder what her husband will think when he gets back from the sand box. |
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Posted: 5/1/2009 10:13:13 AM EDT
[#48]
Quoted:
Gag reflex, not so deep next time. /Thread Got to love it when a thread is answered in the first post.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 10:23:49 AM EDT
[#49]
Next time, floss.
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Posted: 5/1/2009 10:28:45 AM EDT
[#50]
Quoted:
Here is a pic of him her. Do not marry the shemale. It will get out of service before you then take half your pay. http://i472.photobucket.com/albums/rr90/blessteve/ho.jpg Hip implants...again!
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