I am freakin out here!

Feel like if I don't vent a little I'm gonna explode.

Living with my parents again, God knows I do love em', is driving me insane!

Maybe it is just me.......maybe it is just them......maybe it is because I am 35 years old, I've lost my beautiful wife and step-son, lost my huge beautiful house in my huge beautiful yard in my nice, quite upscale neighborhood with neighbors that I actually cared for and about.  Lived 8 min. from work and loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am taking refuge at my parents and eventhough they don't act like it, I  know I am an interloper.

Not my bed......not my bathroom (had my own), not my TV, not my surround system, not my computer room/office, not my garage, not my lake behind the house that I fished in not my routines not my TV shows, not my house to be naked in not my identity .......hell it is NOT ME!

I know I know I know.........the marriage was doomed from the get go..........never will I accept another woman with kid(s)...........but God........we were friends.......buddies.......we had a life....I had a life (often miserable) but damn it, it was mine and still I loved her very much and despite how stupid she has been I miss her deeply. For that, I am getting more angry at my self each day as well......

Work is wearing me out.........these 70+ hour weeks are murder.........no word yet from the Army regarding my medical waiver (shoulda been gone 2 weeks ago)..............I feel like such an interruption to everyone I come in contact with.

Today I actually had time off....I shot both my ARs and re-verified their 100 yd zeros......I rode my 4 wheeler............killed one of the otters ripping off our fish ponds............got to spend time alone and I am still so frustrated........so angry at my wife for being such a F'ing fool..............getting depressed and can't seem to get over it or the cold I have had now for a week and a half.

What am I going to do to keep from going absolutely berzerk?

Feel like I am hanging by a thread.

Hang in there bud.

You'll be amazed at what you can really put up with.

I can easily relate to your situation. The end of a relationship takes some time for healing, but you will heal as long as you keep your head on straight.
I'll let you in on a priviledge most never experience. With a few exceptions, LESS = MORE !  Hope you can get there.  

Think of those people who died on Sept. 11.

They [i]truly[/i] lost everything.

Conversely, you have your life. You have your health. You have a job. You have parents that obviously are there for you. And you have [i]time[/i] to make use of the world.

You have everything that counts.

You will be able to find another woman. A better one. There are millions out there. More than a few will be a good match for you. Find one, and you'll forget all about your ex.

Listen to me man, IT WILL GET BETTER.

I promise.

I've been there (not the exact situation, but heartbreak hurts no matter).


The big thing here is that it's going to take more than a few weeks. It may take a couple of years. But it will get better. AND it will get will get better progressively.

One day you'll wake up and it will hurt, but you'll notice that it hurts just a little bit less. It's a slow process, but it will happen.

Take care.