am I a B@$t@rd or no?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - am I a B@$t@rd or no?

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:28:09 PM EDT

I'll fix the title if need be but anyway here's the situation. I posted this in TEAM in a relavent thread and figured I would offer myself as cannon fodder for the masses

I got a text message one day from an old HS friend. She said my Ex from HS sent her a friend request on facebook. She accepted. Wife and I looked her up. She's "friends" with my older Brother. Why? I have no idea. This is the girl who I was still messing around with till we were 22 or so. I may have knocked her up. Don't know, don't care. I left for Kuwait and came back to never see her again. She does have a kid that's the right age but it could have been someone else's kid. Yup, wife knows about it and doesn't seem to care. I have no idea what my brother knows either. It's kind of a secret in the family since the parents didn't like her. I'm sure she knows how to find me, she just hasn't yet.

The wife is kind of interested to contact her. I keep saying to leave well enough alone. She thinks it's shitty of me that I don't want to know if I'm a father or not. The girl is trouble and I would prefer to just stay away. Frankly, I'm suprised that she hasn't contacted me especially if she knows how to. It's been about 5 years since I last saw her.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:29:42 PM EDT

[#1]

You're not. The kid is.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:29:48 PM EDT

[#2]

Let the sleeping dogs lie.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:30:13 PM EDT

[#3]

EJECT...take the wife and head for the hills...or find a AFcomer and grab a shovel

no really

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:31:38 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
You're not. The kid is.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:32:07 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
You're not. The kid is.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:32:40 PM EDT

[#6]

I see child support wage garnishment in your future.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:33:23 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
I'll fix the title if need be but anyway here's the situation. I posted this in TEAM in a relavent thread and figured I would offer myself as cannon fodder for the masses

I got a text message one day from an old HS friend. She said my Ex from HS sent her a friend request on facebook. She accepted. Wife and I looked her up. She's "friends" with my older Brother. Why? I have no idea. This is the girl who I was still messing around with till we were 22 or so. I may have knocked her up. Don't know, don't care. I left for Kuwait and came back to never see her again. She does have a kid that's the right age but it could have been someone else's kid. Yup, wife knows about it and doesn't seem to care. I have no idea what my brother knows either. It's kind of a secret in the family since the parents didn't like her. I'm sure she knows how to find me, she just hasn't yet.

The wife is kind of interested to contact her. I keep saying to leave well enough alone. She thinks it's shitty of me that I don't want to know if I'm a father or not. The girl is trouble and I would prefer to just stay away. Frankly, I'm suprised that she hasn't contacted me especially if she knows how to. It's been about 5 years since I last saw her.

Yeah right.....

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:33:42 PM EDT

[#8]

that was pretty good. However, it could have been the guy she was married to at the time. So, no, he possibly wasn't.

Yeah, I did some fucked up shit and regret it.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:34:25 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I'll fix the title if need be but anyway here's the situation. I posted this in TEAM in a relavent thread and figured I would offer myself as cannon fodder for the masses

I got a text message one day from an old HS friend. She said my Ex from HS sent her a friend request on facebook. She accepted. Wife and I looked her up. She's "friends" with my older Brother. Why? I have no idea. This is the girl who I was still messing around with till we were 22 or so. I may have knocked her up. Don't know, don't care. I left for Kuwait and came back to never see her again. She does have a kid that's the right age but it could have been someone else's kid. Yup, wife knows about it and doesn't seem to care. I have no idea what my brother knows either. It's kind of a secret in the family since the parents didn't like her. I'm sure she knows how to find me, she just hasn't yet.

The wife is kind of interested to contact her. I keep saying to leave well enough alone. She thinks it's shitty of me that I don't want to know if I'm a father or not. The girl is trouble and I would prefer to just stay away. Frankly, I'm suprised that she hasn't contacted me especially if she knows how to. It's been about 5 years since I last saw her.

Yeah right.....

trust me, I would prefer to believe that and I hardly do.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:35:18 PM EDT

[#10]

If it is your kid and you're not helping and don't care It sounds like you're a turd and the kid is probable better off without you.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:36:53 PM EDT

[#11]

wait till hes 18 then get a hold of her that way you don't risk the chance of having to give him presents or pay child support.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:37:48 PM EDT

[#12]

It's a trap!

(can't find the trap pic)

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:43:52 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
If it is your kid and you're not helping and don't care It sounds like you're a turd and the kid is probable better off without you.

Let me clarify, not that it's any better but what I meant was, I don't care to find out if the kid is biologically mine or not. Not that I know he's mine and don't care. Deep down, I'm conflicted to find out or not. Like I said, she was married at the time and it's to my understanding that the other guy claimed him and knew/didn't care or she duped him. It was all confusing at the time but the timing didn't match up completely but it was too close to tell from what I remember. Anyway, all I know is that she hasn't bothered to find me and I don't want to contact her (let sleeping dogs lie).

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:48:21 PM EDT

[#14]

I'd want to know. I'd kind of wonder about anyone who wouldn't.

Posted: 3/29/2009 10:22:35 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
I'd want to know. I'd kind of wonder about anyone who wouldn't.

wonder what exactly? Trust me, I have my days where I think about it.

Posted: 3/29/2009 10:35:47 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:

It's a trap!

(can't find the trap pic)

Here's one for you:

Posted: 3/29/2009 10:36:07 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I'd want to know. I'd kind of wonder about anyone who wouldn't.

wonder what exactly? Trust me, I have my days where I think about it.

Wonder if the kid was mine, and if I was maybe leaving my kid with some crazed psycho because it was more convenient to.

It would eat me up until I knew.

Posted: 3/29/2009 11:04:04 PM EDT

[#18]

Posted: 3/29/2009 11:08:59 PM EDT

[#19]

A paternity test is in your future.

Posted: 3/29/2009 11:09:40 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
A paternity test is in your future.

I don't doubt that for a second.

Posted: 3/30/2009 4:32:40 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
I see child support wage garnishment in your future.

tread lightly

Posted: 3/30/2009 4:37:50 AM EDT

[#22]

IF it is your child she could be waiting to sue you for BACK OWED child support payments. I have heard of this happening to some guys.

Posted: 3/30/2009 4:43:18 AM EDT

[#23]

so, you were banging a married chick who got pregnant around the same time?

If so, I would leave it alone, as she undoubtably told her then husband that it was his, and in the divorce, he will be paying the support. He most likely has accepted the child as his, you would be messing up three lives if you pursue it.

If for some reason you turned out to be bio-dad, what good would come of knowing this information?

Are you going to offer him a refund?

It is about the child, and his relationship with his father.

Reverse the situation. You are (insert age) and find out that mom cheated on dad, and this guy who you never met is now in the picture. Now divorced parents are really fighting over you, and 'dad' doesn't want to see you any more, and mom is mad because he quit paying her. Now you are broke, mom is crying, and daddy doesn't love you anymore.

But hey... your wife is curious, so what the hell.

Posted: 3/30/2009 4:52:39 AM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:

so, you were banging a married chick who got pregnant around the same time?

If so, I would leave it alone, as she undoubtably told her then husband that it was his, and in the divorce, he will be paying the support. He most likely has accepted the child as his, you would be messing up three lives if you pursue it.

If for some reason you turned out to be bio-dad, what good would come of knowing this information?

Are you going to offer him a refund?

It is about the child, and his relationship with his father.

Reverse the situation. You are (insert age) and find out that mom cheated on dad, and this guy who you never met is now in the picture. Now divorced parents are really fighting over you, and 'dad' doesn't want to see you any more, and mom is mad because he quit paying her. Now you are broke, mom is crying, and daddy doesn't love you anymore.

But hey... your wife is curious, so what the hell.

Well said....

Posted: 3/30/2009 4:56:15 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
If it is your kid and you're not helping and don't care It sounds like you're a turd and the kid is probable better off without you.

Yup, it's confirmed that you are a bastard.

Posted: 3/30/2009 4:58:19 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Let the sleeping dogs lie.

+1

Posted: 3/30/2009 7:13:13 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
so, you were banging a married chick who got pregnant around the same time?

If so, I would leave it alone, as she undoubtably told her then husband that it was his, and in the divorce, he will be paying the support. He most likely has accepted the child as his, you would be messing up three lives if you pursue it.

If for some reason you turned out to be bio-dad, what good would come of knowing this information?

Are you going to offer him a refund?

It is about the child, and his relationship with his father.

Reverse the situation. You are (insert age) and find out that mom cheated on dad, and this guy who you never met is now in the picture. Now divorced parents are really fighting over you, and 'dad' doesn't want to see you any more, and mom is mad because he quit paying her. Now you are broke, mom is crying, and daddy doesn't love you anymore.

But hey... your wife is curious, so what the hell.

This really does need to be said again. Then show it to your wife and ask her why she wants to try and screw up some kids life.

Posted: 3/30/2009 7:30:48 AM EDT

[#28]

Are birth certificates public record????

if so, go look up the child's birth certificate to at least know who she claimed to be Daddy. That'd be a start. Most likely she listed hubby as daddy. That's the usual for red headed surprise child.

Posted: 3/30/2009 7:45:10 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Are birth certificates public record????

if so, go look up the child's birth certificate to at least know who she claimed to be Daddy. That'd be a start. Most likely she listed hubby as daddy. That's the usual for red headed surprise child.

I thought they were. I tried finding it thru the dept of vital records in the original state. I asked her who she listed as the father when we were still talking (before I got home from Kuwait) she wouldn't tell me.