Fuck you, Gates! I hope you die of a slow colon cancer, you assbagging mongoloid!

Motherfucker!

So, not only have I had to deal with the dreaded Red Ring Of Death. I was also blessed with another common hardware failure: the DVD Drive Failure.

Now? Another common problem. This time on the "new and improved" Xbox 360 Elite. The motherfucking Elite won't motherfucking recognize the motherfucking controller! All I want to do is play a little Call Of Duty, shoot a couple of 12 year olds in the face, taunt them into a Ritalin-fueled, controller-tossing frenzy and then log off of Live to enjoy a good nights sleep.

...but no. Noooooooo! NononononononononononononononFUCKNO!

I press the Xbox button on the controller. Elite turns on. Doesn't assign a player slot (1, 2, 3, 4, etc.). Okay...so I try re-synching the controller to the unit. Nope. I try another controller. Nope. I try to re-synch that one. Nope. I repeat the process with the 6-7 controllers throughout the house. Nope. I try plugging in the charging cable. Still no joy. I get online. This is a common problem. I follow the instructions, consisting of unplugging the hard drive and power supply, sit for 2 minutes, reconnect and BAM: You love my nuts.

...nope...Nope...FUCKING NOPE! It's like shoveling motherfucking water! Nothing I do will get this fucking controller to sync to the fucking Xbox so I can play some fucking Call Of Fucking Duty!

Just typing this, I feel myself growing Retard Strong. I feel the need to grab the Basuer Bag, hop in the Jeep, drive to Seattle, find The One responsible, eat his face, pull off his testicles and fuck him until he's pregnant with my babies.

Speaking of apes, if we all sprang from them, then Gates didn't spring far enough. If that organ-licking thundercunt is supposed to be so motherfucking smart, then why couldn't he engineer a fucking game system that didn't overheat, digest it's own drive or ignore it's own hardware? If I was his mother, I'd cut out my own ovaries and eat them...just to be sure that it never...ever fucking happened again. The world can't handle two teabagging, pecker-headed pantywaists.

Give me five fucking minutes, God. Five fucking minutes alone with him. Just me, Gates, a locked room and an assortment of ghoulish Udai Hussein-approved funtime toys. I'd have that cum-guzzling ratbag french-kissing my choad while shitting out the Xbox 1080 Virtual Reality Unit inside of three minutes, I guaranmotherfuckingtee it.

Then I'd gouge out his eyes, thrust his severed testicles into the bloody fucking pits and lick his tears up off of the blood-stained floor as he stumbled around the room, blood flowing from both north and south.

I need a PS3.

PWNED!!!!  



Seriously when are you Xboxers going to learn?  It took me one time, then I went out and got a PS3 in addition to.

Nazi Zombie mode FTW

In on 1.



This post space for rent.  IM for premium first page real estate.

9/10

10/10!

Damn, that sucks.  You should take some amphetamines to calm down.  And get yourself a PS3!

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Now that is a quality rant 10/10

PC > consoles

Crossed over after PS2 troubles and haven't looked back.

Excellent job.

I lol'd.

Jeez, Aren't you over the weekly rant limit?

BTW–––– 10/10   You shocked, startled, and enthralled. How's the hornet thing going? It's hornet mating season ya know....

I have only one question. How old was the 360?

In!

Right now, Bill Gates is being herded into his under-ground bunker with heavily armed guards, aware of the events that may take place.

I'm just sayin....face cut off, anal rape and all that.



Seriously, that sucks. 10/10 for rant.

I'm in college and I think I've played Xbox less that five times in my entire life...

should of bought a Mac..

Oh and 10/10 on rant.

not to mentions Roms and Emulators FTW!!!!!!!

I'm an angry person...from time to time.

As for the bees, I've been getting that itch. That feeling. Like the bees are out there in the shit. Out there getting stronger. While I'm in here. Getting weaker.

It's almost time. Another month and they'll be back in full force.

Then I will show them the true power of my Dark Side.

There will be live bee waterboarding this season, I swear it. "The Incident" may have had a hand in ending the last battle too soon, but this year I have help. I've enlisted the aid of my younger brother, himself a veteran of the Battle At Wounded Bee.

Together we will end the destructive conflict and bring order to the northwest corner of my home.

10/10...Nice!







That's good stuff right there.

So what's your gamertag?

My Xbox 360 turns on for no reason at random times.  I think it's watching me.



Like my PS3 quite a bit more.

I haven't had a singer problem with my 360.

PS3 indeed u need. Thinkn about gettin on right now, nothing better than a few beers and kickin the shit out of smart ass punk kids that should be in bed for school the next day.

This one is an Elite and about 4 months old. with maybe 60 hours of total run time, including DVDs.  

Never had one problem with my PS3 in 2 years.... And the motherfucker is caked in dust, in fact, i don't even think the fan can suck air into it...

As for PC's, yea, they are great and all.  BUT, you cant sit on your nice comfy couch and play on your 65 inch High Def tv!!!!!

even with the issues, the 360 still owns the ps3....

yah you can




 

Evil ATF

Maybe it's a sign that as an adult... you should stop playing video games when you have a temper tantrum like an 8 year old?

http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=119&t=637503

On a scale of 1-10, I give this rant a 26!

I hear ya brother

I shit you not, I say the same damn thing on a daily basis almost, about the widoze side of M$

10/10 for the rant, plus an extra few points cuz you've bought a shit ton of gear so far  this year, but only chumps play Call of Duty on consoles.  PC is where its at for COD and first person shooters

I would be pissed too if I went to play some COD and couldn't. Not to mention what I would have to explain to my 4 yr old when he asked to play "The shootin game"

"Just typing this, I feel myself growing Retard Strong"

I've had 3 so far, but I always get the $40 extended warranty from best buy.  Everytime it has crapped out the price has been a little cheper so I pocket the difference, which is usually slightly more than the warranty cost.

Sounds like MS is having QC issues with the Falcons again...

I wish they'd get around to introducing the Jasper chipset.

damn.

Problem is that I don't have tantrums when I play, even when I'm having my balls served to me on a bamboo mat.

I have a tantrum when I can't enjoy a 30 minute reprieve from reality and cunt-shoot a bunch of mouthy teenagers.

...and the target demographic for modern gaming is the 25-40 year old male.



I'm beginning to see the wisdom of going back to a PC. I was a hardcore PC/FPS guy until my last CPU gave up the ghost and I switched. I miss the community-created weapons mods the most.

Check out my Xbox 360 Collection. It's well protected. That's why I will never get the rings of death.




Edit: Pay only for the box. Never pay for the games. It's like getting free ammo.

I have no idea what you're talking about, my friend, but I'll happily introduce a 'Jasper chipset' to Billy's piss hole if you can spot me one.

Great rant!  Best one yet.  Unfortunately I can't comisserate.  I heard about XBox360 troubles only after I bought the "Master Chief" edition a ways back.  So far...so good.... No problems here.  I still wonder what the zipper head was thinking when they crammed all that electronics into such a small case.  The XBOX does get hot.

Mega points for "Bam: You'll love my nuts"

That and retard strong

You sound like a fun person to hang out with.  Seriously, I bet you could make an otherwise boring day fun, battling bees and shit, fun stuff.

I love my PS3, I really do, 'cept it's going back to Sony for a $150 "exchange", in which I get back mine (if it can be fixed), or a factory rebuilt one.  This after shelling out $400 for this baby 16 months ago.  Yes, the warranty is 1 year.  

Advice: when you buy the PS3, look into an extended warranty.  

Trust me, I know all too well... I was speaking from experience. I was a SERIOUS Counter-Strike player for several years, competed in several leagues. I have no doubt I was one of the best players in the world. If my cable or server went down I would fly into a rage. One of my friends told me I needed to quit playing that game or I was going to die of a stroke or heart attack. I turned it off and haven't played since, that was almost 6 years ago. I miss it sometimes, mostly just the camaraderie of my clanmates... but that shit sucked way too much time and energy.

Not only can you do this on a PC, but you can do it with higher resolution. The downside is it costs more to build a decent system, and you kind of have to know what you are doing.
I play Fallout 3 for PC on my High-Def LCD TV, hooked up to my stereo. Sitting on the couch. :)

I woke up your SAHD Diary thread
As a typical American, I'm seeking carnage and resolution that makes me proud to be American. Bewbz are a plus, but not mandatory.

I sense no sarcasm



10/10 got to love it.

I have a PS3, but for COD i use my PCCCCCC.

I use MOLON LABE on the COD4 tag sometimes, when im not playing on my clans server

Quality rant 10/10

Your senses are correct young jedi.