This apparently drew no response in the "Atheist and Bear" thread, and being a glutton for punishment, I thought I'd repeat it here.
A guy goes bear hunting with a brand-new rifle. He comes upon a monster grizzly, draws a bead and pulls the trigger. When the gun comes down out of recoil - no bear!
He feels a tap on his shoulder, and when he turns around the bear is standing there. "Mister," the bear says, "that wasn't very nice. You have two choices: either I maul you for about an hour, or you submit to some really rough sex." The guy thinks about it for a minute, and then drops his pants.
After a month or two of recovery, the guy goes out and buys a .300 Win-Mag semi-auto. Then he returns to the same woods seeking revenge. He stalks the bear, puts the crosshairs on the shoulder, and BANG! BANG! BANG! Once again - no bear. Once again, the tap on the shoulder. "Mister, you don't learn, do you? Same choices as last time."
After a bit longer recovery period, the guy goes out and buys a .577 Nitro double rifle, and back to the woods he goes. Once again he finds the bear, and stalks in close. Putting the bead on the bear, he pulls both triggers in triumph. But as he's picking himself up off the ground, he feels a familiar tap on the shoulder.
"Mister, you aren't coming here for the hunting, are you?"