The other day I told my wife I was going down the road to the store. Well, on the way there I stopped at a gunshop and ended up putting a gun in lay-a-way for a week. i paid half down with the other half due next week. I put the receipt in my wallet and went on to the store. This morning when I was in the shower, my wife snooped through my wallet and found the receipt. She threw a fit! I feel that since she does not work, she has no real say in what I spend my money on within reason. I pay all of our bills first. She has a home and vehicle and isn't starving. Hell, her doctor bills keep me busy. Anyway she is trying to call my bluff by threatening divorce. We have been together almost 7 years. I do not wish a divorce, but am sick of being made out to look like the bad guy. I take care of her. I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. I haven't missed a day's work in 7 years. If she tries to further "call my bluff", I will not stop the proceedings. Just trying to vent a little frustration, guys. Thanks!

I have tried this approach before. I told her if she got a job, she could keep [b]all[/b] of her money. That wasn't even enough to get her to find employment.

One of the new Savage ML10-II muzzleloaders. the ones that shoot smokeless powder. I sold my Remington 700 muzzleloader last week and used part of the money for the downpayment on the new one. So most of the price of this new rifle was paid for by the sale of my other one. It seems like anytime I sell a gun to buy another one, she gets mad. She wants me to use the money for other things. I have told her in the past that I should just leave them unsold in my safe and avoid the arguments.

I [red]had[/red] a wife like that once.

I don't think an allowance will do it either. You can just do what a friend of mine does. Everytime he buys a gun he buys something pretty close in value for the wife. Seems to be working so far.

We have an agreement in my house. Neither one of us spends more than $100 on something without consulting the other party. It's more a matter of mutual respect than control over the finances and she doesn't care what I buy as long as we can work it into the budget.

I have to agree with that. If she wants a divorce over something this petty there has to be a deeper problem. My wife is the same way.. sits home doesn't have to work. BUT she doesn't bitch when i buy  new toy. She knows i work hard for what i get.

Might be time to put her to work.

"I got a new gun for my wife,
best trade I ever made"[:D]

Yeah, but then I would be paying twice as much for every gun purchase.

My wife does the same crap, I have my AR at a friend's house cause if she knew I bought it she would flip. Either in Feb or Mar I'm gonna tell her I bought it at the gun show for $400 and that might mellow her out, divorces can be EXPENSIVE...

All's quiet on the home front for now. After many hours, she finally quit giving me the silent treatment. We went to town and picked up some fast food. It just seems like anytime I have any money left over, she wants me to spend it on dumb stuff. I generally try to save extra money for things that I want. After I have enough money for a purchase, I buy it then deal with the consequences. I would never be able to save any money if we discussed purchases in advance because she would find other things to spend it on that she [b]thinks[/b] we need more.

Come on man don't hold back!! Tell us what you really think.

tbs

I usually agree with everything ARLady says, but while she may have some good points for a man who is "sensitive," most of us [b]AIN'T[/B], so the above seems to be the root of the problem--she has too damned much time on her hands to snoop through your wallet and worry about what you're spending money on.  If she is too damned lazy to work, yet complains about what you spend money on, [b]after all the bills are paid,[/b] she is trouble.  If you were letting bills slide to buy toys she would have a legitimate complaint.  I am no shrink, but I really think her "threat" of a divorce is a load of crap.  Where else, in today's world, will she find a guy who:
1) Makes enough money to pay all the bills, and has some left over?
2) Does not expect his wife to work, regardless of #1?
3) Is willing to let her sit on her ass all day eating bonbons ala Peg Bundy?  
4)Is willing to let her snoop through his wallet at will?
5) Is willing to tolerate these kind of events?

You put it out here, that's my take, warts and all.  Good luck.

Well, very, very interesting. I see that a few members are hammering me, but the majority aren't. Maybe I should have explained my life in more detail, instead of just the current situation. I'll start from the beginning. I met my wife back in the summer of '95. I had been divorced from my first wife for a year and had filed bankruptcy. My present wife was working at a factory on second shift. After about a month of dating, she decides that she wants to quit her job and get a first shift job so she could spend more time with me. Well, eventually we got married, and she still had not gotten a day job. Then she comes up with this idea that a husband should support his wife and that she does not have to work. She was raised Pentecostal (not to the point of skirt-wearing), but had not been to church for three years prior to our marriage. It was fine by me if she did not want to work. I have never told her that she had to work. I work at least 40 hours a week, and haven't missed a day's work in 7 years. I pay all of the bills. Even with health insurance, her doctor bills aren't small. I give her spending money on a weekly basis, plus half of my tax refunds. We usually receive about a $2500 refund from the federal government every year. It originally comes from my paychecks, but I still split it because we are married. Every dime she receives comes from my labor. All of our bills come first. I never put off a bill to make frivilous purchases. We have never had a disconnect notice on any utilities. I am not complaining about taking care of her. I am complaining about the fact that I should be able to buy something if I want to, as I earned it. She has a Chevy Beretta and I have a Ford Bronco; both are paid for. We have no children. I will be 34 in two weeks and she is 41. She is a kind-hearted person, but she loves to fight with me about money. Right now she wants new carpet for the bedroom and the master bathroom remodeled. I say that it can wait. I want to get a few more guns out of the way first. The house will always be here, guns may not be. She complains about me, but I'm really not a bad guy. Like I said earlier, I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I don't smack her around or abuse her. I take care of the bills and don't force her to work, yet I am a bad person. Well, enough of this for now. just a little more insight into my little world.

M4, now that you answered the one lingering doubt I had (no children), I stand behind every word I said, in spades.  I wish you well.  You sound like a helluva catch, and can no doubt do better than her.  Marital vows are a serious thing though, so I would not leave the marriage lightly.  Good luck, I really don't see this getting better.  Vent here anytime!  [:)]

Thanks! Let me say for the record that I love her despite all the complaints and do not want a divorce. All I want is for her to let me spend my money as I see fit. She gets to spend her allowance as she wants.