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Posted: 12/18/2001 4:48:59 PM EDT
[#1]
I think the only way you will truly be happy is if you take the chance and it works out for you. Otherwise you will be wondering how much better it would have been had you not taken the chance or had you just left things the way they were.
Personally, I'm a gamblin man and I would go for it, whatever it is. |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 4:50:51 PM EDT
[#2]
Do what will make you happy.
If you sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of someone else it only makes things worse for everyone. |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 4:55:13 PM EDT
[#3]
Don't like to unload on you but my road has come to three forks.
Two offer nothing but darkness. (Miss Cleo hung-up on me !) I'm not a gambler but am a risk taker. Few people get anywhere without taking risks. (That advice is worth exactly $.00) |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 4:58:14 PM EDT
[#4]
Funny, when I read your post it reminded me of my mom for some strange reason. She died of cancer 8 years ago. Before that, my life was in a shambles. After she passed, I took a good look at my life and made a big change, now things are about 100000000 times better. Sometimes it takes a seriously tramatic experience to change your life. I still wish my mother was with us but in a way I think she is. I would give everything in my life to see her hold her grandson. good luck on your decision. Since i have no idea what that is, I am in no place to suggest an action. The only suggestion I can give is to go and talk to a good friend you trust with your life.(wife, parents, brother, sister, you get the idea) take care and good luck. regards Akira |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:01:37 PM EDT
[#5]
Geez, not to make light, but it sounds as though you're about to leave your wife/children for a man. He'll only hurt you. [sex]
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:04:18 PM EDT
[#6]
Sex change?
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:06:04 PM EDT
[#7]
Follow your bliss.
It will lead you to success. (unless your "bliss" involves hard drugs, or deviancy. Then just sit tight) |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:09:11 PM EDT
[#8]
OK, guys. Let's not be sick here. This is totally serious for me. If you don't want to treat it that way, please don't waste my/your time in responding.
Thanks for the serious responses thus far. |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:11:16 PM EDT
[#9]
I'm serious.
When making these decisions, follow the path that makes you most happy. You'll never regret it, if you do this while maintaining your honor and integrity. |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:12:12 PM EDT
[#10]
Ponyboy already said exactly what I'm thinking.
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:12:40 PM EDT
[#11]
If this decision your about to make going to hurt someone who loves and looks up to you. I would not do it. Sometimes you have to be stronger and suffer a little for the well being of another person who may not be able to take pain that your decision might cause. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but search your heart for the answer, I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Good luck.
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:15:40 PM EDT
[#12]
hmmm... think I might know where this is going. Without specifics, we cant help you a whole lot. What ever you are decideing on, make sure you are rational and think of all the pros and cons first. I hope what ever the decision is, you feel better.
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:16:05 PM EDT
[#13]
You sould look at your prioritys and look very hard. it it is your wife you are going to leave, then I say no. You took a oath and you should live up to your words. What is a man if his words meen nothing to he. Second, Your children. If you have any then your wife took the pain of having your children and lived in hell for 9 months at a time and then you have to think of the first few years after. Was it that fun for her, she had to take care of the children that you 2 had together. How will ti affect them. 3rd, Its ok to cheat. but dont fall in love. A woman that flings with a married man, you can never trust and she can never trust you.
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:17:14 PM EDT
[#14]
It depends on where you are in your situation. If the way things are can be rode out for the better, or molded to be better in the long run, then I would keep things "the way they are."
I know it is hard to decide, but deep down you have a preference/gut feeling. Always go with the gut feeling. Good Luck man. |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:18:20 PM EDT
[#15]
I'm not married guys, if that helps. Jeez...I wish I could be more specific here, but there are people that *might* read this and get me into trouble before I ever make a decision.
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:18:20 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted: OK, guys. Let's not be sick here. This is totally serious for me. If you don't want to treat it that way, please don't waste my/your time in responding. Thanks for the serious responses thus far. Sorry, I have always taken the risk. A sure thing is only that. Risk implies a promise of reward. You need to have a back-up plan if things go to shit. I would go with risk. Besides at this point feeling the way you do what choice do you really have? |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:23:53 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted: 3rd, Its ok to cheat. but dont fall in love. A woman that flings with a married man, you can never trust and she can never trust you. OHHH MY LORD!!!!! You did not go there!!![shock] The first ones to know that you are not happy is you and your wife! Discuss, improve the situation, and if it is still not going to work, then leave on terms that will be not be hostile. It can be done! |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:39:32 PM EDT
[#18]
I would recommend that you make three lists.
First list are things that you want, your goals, desires, wishes, whatever. Then list out each of the two choices and the pro's and con's of each choice. Sometimes the gain is high but the risk or loss is just as great and cancels out the gain. I face a similar fork in the road two years ago and took the well travelled road - but I would have been happy with either woman - ah fork in the road. Life is too darn short to suffer over such decissions for too long. Make a careful choice and never look back or second guess yourself because the game is over on Sunday so no Monday quarterbacking is allowed. [url]www.misscleo.com[/url] |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 5:50:29 PM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: I would recommend that you make three lists. First list are things that you want, your goals, desires, wishes, whatever. Then list out each of the two choices and the pro's and con's of each choice. Sometimes the gain is high but the risk or loss is just as great and cancels out the gain. Excellent advice. I think I will try that. Thank you, Paul. |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 6:05:51 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted: Quoted: I would recommend that you make three lists. First list are things that you want, your goals, desires, wishes, whatever. Then list out each of the two choices and the pro's and con's of each choice. Sometimes the gain is high but the risk or loss is just as great and cancels out the gain. Excellent advice. I think I will try that. Thank you, Paul. Go with your heart. |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 7:37:53 PM EDT
[#21]
Thanks a bunch for the replies, guys (and girl). I will sleep on it tonight and I'm sure I will feel much better in the morning. When I make the decision, I will be sure to let you all know. But it might be a good while (not totally my choice).
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Posted: 12/18/2001 7:39:51 PM EDT
[#22]
If it's marriage ...DON'T...unless she is 16 and asian [bounce]
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Posted: 12/18/2001 9:13:17 PM EDT
[#23]
You didn't say anything about having a time limit on making your decision. If at all possible take extra time to think things through. You may come up with other idea's, thoughts or new ways to look at your options.
When you get stressed out from trying to make major life decisions in a hurry, it's hard to see things from the outside in. It can be hard to get new perspectives when you can't see the forest through the trees. Take your time if at all possible. ColtShorty GOA KABA COA JPFO SAF NRA "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them." |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 10:03:24 PM EDT
[#24]
Gut feeling. Period.
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Posted: 12/18/2001 10:23:59 PM EDT
[#25]
Does this have anything to do with ATF's Operation Meltdown?
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Posted: 12/18/2001 10:27:36 PM EDT
[#26]
Brouhaha,
I always just picture myself, about 90 years old, rocking in a chair on a wooden deck, grinning because I don't have to say to myself, "Gosh, I wish I had tried that." - Anarki |
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Posted: 12/18/2001 11:58:03 PM EDT
[#27]
I'm going to add this as my sig line....
"If you're going to have regrets, for gods sake, regret what you do, not what you don't do." Don't know who said it first, but they are right on the money! |
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Posted: 12/19/2001 12:05:01 AM EDT
[#28]
I'd vote to keep her.
Don't know either of you from Adam. But she sounds like a helluva woman! Good luck Bro! |
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Posted: 12/19/2001 4:10:16 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted: Does this have anything to do with ATF's Operation Meltdown? Yes, everything to do with it. |
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Posted: 12/19/2001 4:16:39 PM EDT
[#30]
Just ask her to marry you and all will be fine.
R35 |
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Posted: 12/19/2001 6:35:39 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted: I'd vote to keep her. Don't know either of you from Adam. But she sounds like a helluva woman! Good luck Bro! How do you know me and my name???!!! I say follow your heart too |
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Posted: 12/19/2001 6:49:21 PM EDT
[#32]
The road not taken will haunt you the rest of your life. If this decision affects others, consider your obligations to them, keep your word. It is FAR easier to live with the regret of doing something that didn't work out, than to live the regret of NOT at least trying.
If you pray, I assume that you are a Christian. The Almighty will not let you make a wrong choice, just remember that his perspective is different than ours. |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 3:10:27 PM EDT
[#33]
Flip a coin.
Seriously. On coin flips, I've scored better jobs, better girls, better vehicles, better guns... a better life. However, no matter what you choose, don't look back. And, if you need to get rid of a gun or two along the way, I accept donations [;D] |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 3:33:52 PM EDT
[#34]
Quoted: Sex change? Did it work? |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 5:26:14 PM EDT
[#35]
"Use the Force, Luke!"
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Posted: 12/20/2001 5:30:50 PM EDT
[#36]
What happened?
I don't wanna rush you but, have you made the decision yet? concerned akira |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 5:35:24 PM EDT
[#37]
Nope, Akira. No decision yet. It's been rough going, and I've been pretty busy with work. Thankfully, that has gotten my mind off the matter temporarily. It'll probably be a while...
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Posted: 12/20/2001 5:59:35 PM EDT
[#38]
Personally, if something is that hard to decide - forget it!! If it was right, you'd know it already!!!
Sounds like someone is trying to talk you into something - don't do it!! |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 6:45:20 PM EDT
[#39]
Yes, to vomit, or not to vomit. That is thee Questions...
I am so drunk out of my gord tonight, I can spell correctly! It is quite amazing to me. I have to type everything so incredibly slow that I started this reply shortly after it was posted, and I be there are a bajillion posts by the time I end up submitting this... Man is my brain slow tonight. -inuhbadnayburhooddrunkoffhisasscelebratingfinalsexamsuccess. |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 6:58:32 PM EDT
[#40]
[seriousmodeon]
Brouhaha,my advice, and I hope you take this seriously, is to take the way with the most Reason backing it up. Let go of the emotions for a little bit and think rational. You are probably considering marry someone, or going on a suicidal rampage, or to join the army. Those would top my list on things that someone wouldnt want to talk about openly. You can't have your cake and eat it to, remember that. And if you want to chat secretly and with total privacy drop me an email at [email protected] I can keep your secret and offer a rational way to your problems. [/seriousmodeoff] [):)] NSF |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 8:03:05 PM EDT
[#41]
At first I thought you were thinking about joining the military. Bu,t then you said that if you told us what you were thinking about doing that some of us might get you in trouble? I'm confused. Are you thinking about blowing up a federal building or going to fight for the Taliban or something? I seriously doubt it so, friggin tell us what you're thinking about doing! [%|]
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Posted: 12/20/2001 8:30:44 PM EDT
[#42]
It sounds like you may be wrestling with some demons here.
Since I don't know the facts it is hard to give "informed advice". But here is my best: If there is someone in your life whom you love. (preferably your son or daughter) Look at that person and imagine them doing what ever you are considering. Would you be happy that they are heading down that path or would you do everything you could to stop them? Care for yourself and your future as you would for someone you love (as you love your child). (or mother or father or brother) Give yourself the respect and love you would give them. You may deserve it. And think of the affect your actions will have on the ones whom love you as well. And ask yourself how they would feel about what you are considering. And bear in mind that you are going to have to live with yourself the rest of your life knowing what you have done. I can tell you, that doing "things" will stick with you. And it will change you forever. And you will have to live with the Karma of your actions. (even and especially if you get away with it) We don't live in vacums. We cannot do any action without it changing us for the better or the worse. You have to live with yourself. Zen P.S. Also make damn sure you're right before you leap. |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 8:40:50 PM EDT
[#43]
OK guys. This is nothing even remotely illegal or immoral, so don't even worry about it. Does it have to do with women? Yes. Absolutely. Am I married? No. Nor do I have children (unless you count the two cats, one of which is hers). I'm assuming that everybody here is trustworthy, but if I get an inkling that somebody important to me is gonna find this thread, it will be immediately deleted.
In a nutshell, there are two women. One I've dated for almost 2 years (met her on Superbowl Sunday of 2000). The other is fairly recent. I could be happy with whom I have now, but I think I would be happier with the new person. That is, if I have even a remote chance...there's only one way to really find out, and that's to screw up what I've got. That's the quandry. Screw up what I've got and regret it by being lonely for a long time? Or wonder for the rest of my life if I ever had a chance with the new woman to begin with. |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 8:54:55 PM EDT
[#44]
here's my $0.02: maybe you want some time off period, as in no woman at all for a little bit.it sounds like maybe you getting tired of this relationship (or something) and are looking at the grass on the other side of the fence as being greener. Any way, I'm not good w/ analogies and this is't my area of expertise but IMHO it sounds like you need a month off, to your self or something. Take it easy, go shooting bro. latter.
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Posted: 12/20/2001 10:36:17 PM EDT
[#45]
Brou,
From the outside looking in, I'd say this is an easy choice! Stay with what ya got! I really don't see the rationality in screwing up (presumably) a good thing, for something you don't even know if you (admitedly) have a chance with. Seems to me like it would be a major waste of almost 2 years. And somehow I doubt this new girl is gonna haunt you for the rest of your life, should you not pursue her. Time heals all. Oh, and another corny anecdote. The grass is always greener on the other side. And one small piece of advice, If I may. DELETE this thread right now, before Ette does happen across it, and whips your a$$ but good! Good luck my Man! |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 11:02:33 PM EDT
[#46]
I'm going to have to agree with Ruckus.
Don't give up something that you know is good for something that you think may be better. The grass may be greener on the other side, but once you get there and you realize it's not, you don't get a second chance to hop back over the fence! Take it from a female..it's extremely hard to forgive somebody after they've said once they don't want you. |
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Posted: 12/20/2001 11:08:03 PM EDT
[#47]
Quoted: I'm going to have to agree with Ruckus. Oh my Gosh!!! Someone agrees with me! And it's a Woman to boot! I think that's one of the seven signs! Start praying boys, the end is nigh. [:D] And, Thank you M4Babe! |
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Posted: 12/21/2001 12:12:15 AM EDT
[#48]
At times like this people always quote trite sayings – and lots of them are just BS. The fact is, it's your life and it's meant to be lived and you are the only one licensed to do that.
But having said all that, no matter whom you end up with, there will ALWAYS be someone better or, at least, you will always imagine so, until you reach my age, when you will finally discover that it ain't necesarily so. For the moment try not to consider what might be – because it may not be. Apart from "Superwoman" we are all human. Eventually you will find fault with everyone. Try hard, for a a few minutes, to isolate the present. Do you find it sufficient or you do you find it lacking – ON IT'S OWN MERITS – don't compare it to a dream. Reality can never match your imagination – it may be time to grasp the nettle of reality and stop dreaming. Or may be, the alternative is just one of many in your future. If you can come to a decision based on that criterion, you will know the route to take – and then NEVER look back. |
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Posted: 12/21/2001 12:27:06 AM EDT
[#49]
A woman issue, shit. Flip a coin. Bottom line, if you feel the way you do, move on. If the old one made you coo coo for cocoa puffs, you would not consider a new woman. Better yet, go on Jerry Springer and hash it out. Alternatively, find a third woman to see if you really care.
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Posted: 12/21/2001 12:51:01 AM EDT
[#50]
I was in your exact situation 1 year ago. Do what you think will make you the happiest. If you always worry about making others happy and worrying what they will think you will never be happy yourself.(Trust me, I know) It may seem like you have invested a lot in the last 2 years but 2 years isn't anything in a LONG term relationship. Good luck and hope everything works out well for you.
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