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Posted: 11/20/2008 10:06:53 AM EDT
I typed this up last night. If you can relate, welcome to the minority.

The Last American Minority

In a conversation with someone the other day, I was told that I had no idea what it felt like to be a minority. I chuckled, thought for a few seconds and then let loose.

I am actually the last American minority. I’m a middle aged, white, heterosexual, God-fearing, hard working, law-abiding, happily married, gun-toting, devoted father. It doesn’t get much more “minority” than that. And before you even think about mentioning the idea that “my people” have never been persecuted, let me point out a few things.

There is no more demeaned and socially forgotten segment of the population than the middle-class American male. We make up an enormous portion of the US population, yet you never hear of our strife. Why? Because we are the backbone of this nation, we bear the burden of taxes, law enforcement and military service and we do so without thanks and without a peep of dissent. We recognize that citizenship in this country means something. We are the portion of the American population who know that if we don’t do it, it won’t get done.

I’m white. I’m persecuted for being white. Not openly because of my race, but because of the perceived prejudice experienced by all other non-white ethnic groups. Some think we’re still living in the old South. They feed off of the hate being spewed by those who claim to be their civil and spiritual leaders. Men like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are no more than self centered perpetuators of public ignorance and hate. Yes we hate these "leaders", but we’d hate them no matter what color they were. The Hispanics are pissed because we don’t want an illegal foreign nation overrunning our borders and bringing their problems here. We’re racist because we’re tired of not only the dilution of our national heritage by non-English speaking invaders, but of supporting them financially through welfare programs, public healthcare and supporting them for life in our prison systems.
I’m heterosexual. Who would have thought that a guy like me, stuck with the idea that men and women are created for a reason and that “insert tab A into slot B” were pretty universally understood instructions, would be labeled a hater, a bigot and intolerant. I guess the values that I and the majority of the population have held dear for hundreds of years mean nothing in the face of “progress and tolerance”. You know what? Personally, I’m not interested in what’s happening in the bedroom of hetero or homo couples. Bottom line is, I don’t want to hear about it. You want to do it in your bedroom, fine, keep it there and we won’t have any problem. You want to share health benefits, etc w/ your roommate, boy-toy, extra marital lover, be my guest, but don’t call it a marriage unless you can trace its roots back to our Creator.

This leads me to my next point. Far be it for me to believe that my actions in this life will warrant me some reward after I die. Heaven forbid that the motivation for good behavior in my life is rooted beyond self satisfaction and “taking care of my own.” It’s not enough that I’m ridiculed for my belief in God, now He is systematically being stripped from all vestiges of our society. That mean old God who said that gays, adulterers and murderers should be put to death, is being sentenced to oblivion by those same people whose behavior He has condemned since He created them.

I’m a hard working, self-made man. Yes, I grew up in a middle-class household and no, we didn’t have to use food stamps to provide for our family. But you know what? We wouldn’t have accepted them anyways. My parents taught me the true meaning of hard work. They taught me this little phrase that has driven me in my life and I have taught it to my kids as well. TANSTAAFL. “There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch”. Someone HAS to work for it. Get used to it. Don’t expect things to be handed to you. Don’t expect to “work the system”. Don’t expect handouts, in fact, I was taught to work hard so that I could provide for my family and have the excess to provide for those less fortunate, NOT for those less motivated. I do so voluntarily, without a second thought. Now I find that The Golden Rule is not only an outmoded concept in practice, but an American national policy is being crafted to turn my acts of charity into a national expectation. I see an entire generation of welfare babies coming into their own. Taught from the teat to work the system and outsmart “The Man”. Guess what? I AM THE MAN! But you’re not outsmarting me, you’re taking blatant advantage of my generosity. Sometimes I mourn the loss of the days where a day without hard work, was a day you didn’t eat.

I’m a law abiding member of society. I’m a sheep dog. I watch over those around me and protect their rights and their safety. I foolishly expect others to do the same. I do not look for ways to skirt the law whether in taxes, wages, traffic or property laws. I do not gauge my conduct based on what’s legal, I let my finely tuned moral compass be my guide. I don’t do it because I’m being watched, I’m not a different person depending on whether I’m at home, work or church, I live my religion, I obey the law and I support a government that has done nothing but exploit me as much as the growing masses have exploited it. I support the US military in success and failure. I will be the first to grab a rifle, shovel or sandbag and protect this country along side its military and law enforcement agencies from all man-made or natural disasters. I am willing to leave my family in order to protect those who can’t. I, like them, do not ask for your thanks, I do not ask for you to stand next to me, but I will NOT remain silent when you take active measures to undermine the efforts of brave men and women who protect every right you profess to hold dear.

Despite the national average, I’m a happily married man and have remained so for 15 years. I honor my marriage vows with complete fidelity. I view marriage as a commitment between not only my wife and I but God as well. I look forward to growing old with a woman who, despite not being the nubile young 110lb vixen I married is still and will forever remain the most beautiful woman in the world to me. There are no others to compare and I don’t make any effort to search for anything better because it’s not out there. We both recognize that marriage is hard work. And you already know how I feel about hard work. Unfortunately, Hollywood, politics and the media have portrayed marriage as an institution of convenience. It has become a drive-by association of self indulgence. Infidelity is glamorized, pre-marital sex is not only condoned, it’s encouraged and the unbinding of a marriage has been degenerated into a push-button operation at a courthouse kiosk. Marriage and family values are buffeted on all sides by news, entertainment, politics and education. The national average of marriage has become a national travesty.

I’m an armed citizen. I take the responsibility of the defense of my family, myself and my nation seriously. I am willing to fight for those rights and responsibilities. I am the proud bearer of a national heritage of gun owners, hunters, sportsmen and defenders of this country. I ask no one to step into danger on my behalf. I recognize that the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, defends all other amendments and rights described therein. Despite this apparently self-evident right, I am being assailed on all sides by a culture which worships guns in its movies, television and games, yet reviles at the mere thought of an armed citizen. My culture, the gun culture, is at war with its own government over rights which the government itself is responsible for upholding and protecting. Agencies have been established with little or no legislative or judicial supervision and have been allowed to politic away the sole guaranteed means of defense which the populace has to prevent their rights from being usurped by the government. Every avenue is being exploited to render this country helpless to internal and external threats. I will not go down without a fight. When the actions of good, law-abiding men of virtue are made unlawful by the policies of power hungry bureaucrats, you fill find me there, among those men of virtue, standing firm.

The persecution I endure, the ridicule I suffer and the stand that I take, I do for my children. I am most of all, a devoted father. I personally teach my children all of these principles and values. I do not leave the rearing of my children to the public schools, to religious institutions or to the government. For good or bad, I am responsible to society and to God for their actions until they reach an age of maturity. I teach them correct principles and allow them to govern themselves. I correct their behavior with love, kindness and longsuffering. This is MY job, no one else’s. Everywhere I look, I see the results of school, society and media raised children. I see children with no boundaries, no respect, no work ethic and no desire to improve beyond their short-term, selfish wants. I see the effect all of these influences have on my children as my beloved young men and women try to choose between a perceived life of ease and satisfaction set in the shallow frame of media and cultural portrayal vs. the rich, long lasting effects of a life of virtue, honesty, hard work and sacrifice. The entire world is working against me in this effort. It will never stop and it will never compromise.

In the sincere hope that people would “come around” I have remained stoically silent. I have bowed my head to those outraged by supposed unfair treatment as I was sadly deluded that they would stop when they had achieved their stated goal of tolerance. I have watched patiently, quietly as my rights, not as a law-abiding, God fearing, white male, but as an American, have been traded, sold, stolen or forgotten.

I, and my brothers of all races, political and religious affiliations ARE the last American minority.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:11:26 AM EDT
[#1]
Wow.  That's an awesome declaration.  It needs to be published for all to see who need to see it––like in the newspaper.  I'm not a dad yet, and I just got married, but I can tell ya I'm right there with ya, bro.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:13:43 AM EDT
[#2]
i applaud you.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:15:13 AM EDT
[#3]

Here here!








Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:15:20 AM EDT
[#4]
I'm Persian-American (only using the hyphenation for purposes of this point, I am above all and always American) and I would venture to say that we are a smaller minority.  
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:15:41 AM EDT
[#5]
I am a highly conservative, gun toting Jew. Talk about minority.

I know one other conservative Jew, but he is not a gun owner.

I know a few gun owner Jews, but they are all libtards.

I am an island.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:18:09 AM EDT
[#6]
OST
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:19:52 AM EDT
[#7]
I am the last minority!!

I'm an AMERICAN-AMERICAN.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:22:58 AM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
Here here!





+1
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:23:45 AM EDT
[#9]
VERY GOOD READ.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:24:28 AM EDT
[#10]




Now............................where's my cheeze??
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:25:00 AM EDT
[#11]
Hear, hear!

Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:25:40 AM EDT
[#12]
I've been saying the same thing for years.  Middle class white male.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:25:54 AM EDT
[#13]
Well said my fellow minority citizen.  Now send that in to every editor of every newspaper across this country.  Maybe one will have the balls to print it.

Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:31:46 AM EDT
[#14]
This nation is on the verge of doing something that hasn't been seen since the civil war.  The average white, Christian, hetero is on the verge of getting angry.  And not just "I'm pissed so I'll have a beer, kick my dog and get over it", kind of angry, but the kind of angry that moves mountains.  The kind of angry that changes nations.  The kind of angry that dumps tea in harbors and goes to war.



For the past 50 years we've given ground, knuckled under, accepted that we're "bad people", bowed our heads and taken our beating.  Allowed our homes to be robbed, our wives to be raped and our children killed, all in the name of "Can't we all just get along".  But it's never enough.  No matter what we do, no matter what we give up, it will never be enough.  



We've become beasts of burden and prey animals, and it's still not fucking enough.



And I'm predicting the bar is about to be raised, and not by a little bit.  It's going to get worse fast.



All I can say is "Keep pushing mutherfuckers, the tipping point isn't far off".  42% of this country is absolutely, positively, NOT fucking amused.



Ok, I've said it.  I'll take my timeout like a man.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:33:02 AM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
...I will NOT remain silent when you take active measures to undermine the efforts of brave men and women who protect every right you profess to hold dear...

...When the actions of good, law-abiding men of virtue are made unlawful by the policies of power hungry bureaucrats, you fill find me there, among those men of virtue, standing firm...

...I have watched patiently, quietly as my rights, not as a law-abiding, God fearing, white male, but as an American, have been traded, sold, stolen or forgotten....


[>:/]
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:36:17 AM EDT
[#16]
Quoted:
This nation is on the verge of doing something that hasn't been seen since the civil war.  The average white, Christian, hetero is on the verge of getting angry.  And not just "I'm pissed so I'll have a beer, kick my dog and get over it", kind of angry, but the kind of angry that moves mountains.  The kind of angry that changes nations.  The kind of angry that dumps tea in harbors and goes to war.

For the past 50 years we've given ground, knuckled under, accepted that we're "bad people", bowed our heads and taken our beating.  Allowed our homes to be robbed, our wives to be raped and our children killed, all in the name of "Can't we all just get along".  But it's never enough.  No matter what we do, no matter what we give up, it will never be enough.  

We've become beasts of burden and prey animals, and it's still not fucking enough.

And I'm predicting the bar is about to be raised, and not by a little bit.  It's going to get worse fast.

All I can say is "Keep pushing mutherfuckers, the tipping point isn't far off".  42% of this country is absolutely, positively, NOT fucking amused.

Ok, I've said it.  I'll take my timeout like a man.



Let's hope not heh.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:38:06 AM EDT
[#17]
tag for home
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:39:39 AM EDT
[#18]
amen bro! I just had an argument saying the same thing yesterday, I am an American disabled vet married 18 yrs 3 children I would lay my life down for and I own quite a few weapons that I can use w/ some skill and know how to maintain them all
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:41:17 AM EDT
[#19]
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:42:06 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
Everyone can be a victim!!  


Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:43:34 AM EDT
[#21]
tag for full read later.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:47:52 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
This nation is on the verge of doing something that hasn't been seen since the civil war.  The average white, Christian, hetero is on the verge of getting angry.  And not just "I'm pissed so I'll have a beer, kick my dog and get over it", kind of angry, but the kind of angry that moves mountains.  The kind of angry that changes nations.  The kind of angry that dumps tea in harbors and goes to war.

For the past 50 years we've given ground, knuckled under, accepted that we're "bad people", bowed our heads and taken our beating.  Allowed our homes to be robbed, our wives to be raped and our children killed, all in the name of "Can't we all just get along".  But it's never enough.  No matter what we do, no matter what we give up, it will never be enough.  

We've become beasts of burden and prey animals, and it's still not fucking enough.

And I'm predicting the bar is about to be raised, and not by a little bit.  It's going to get worse fast.

All I can say is "Keep pushing mutherfuckers, the tipping point isn't far off".  42% of this country is absolutely, positively, NOT fucking amused.

Ok, I've said it.  I'll take my timeout like a man.




+1  Couldnt have said it better myself.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:49:36 AM EDT
[#23]
I would like to email this to a few people if I may?
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:50:17 AM EDT
[#24]
Thank you for writing that.  Sometimes it's nice to know there are still people who feel the same way I do.  This is why I frequent this forum.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:53:23 AM EDT
[#25]

Link Posted: 11/20/2008 10:54:37 AM EDT
[#26]
Quoted:
This nation is on the verge of doing something that hasn't been seen since the civil war.  The average white, Christian, hetero is on the verge of getting angry.  And not just "I'm pissed so I'll have a beer, kick my dog and get over it", kind of angry, but the kind of angry that moves mountains.  The kind of angry that changes nations.  The kind of angry that dumps tea in harbors and goes to war.

For the past 50 years we've given ground, knuckled under, accepted that we're "bad people", bowed our heads and taken our beating.  Allowed our homes to be robbed, our wives to be raped and our children killed, all in the name of "Can't we all just get along".  But it's never enough.  No matter what we do, no matter what we give up, it will never be enough.  

We've become beasts of burden and prey animals, and it's still not fucking enough.

And I'm predicting the bar is about to be raised, and not by a little bit.  It's going to get worse fast.

All I can say is "Keep pushing mutherfuckers, the tipping point isn't far off".  42% of this country is absolutely, positively, NOT fucking amused.

Ok, I've said it.  I'll take my timeout like a man.




Link Posted: 11/20/2008 11:22:27 AM EDT
[#27]
very well written
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 11:24:25 AM EDT
[#28]
Feel free to forward it.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 11:32:20 AM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:

I am actually the last American minority. I’m a middle aged, white, heterosexual, God-fearing, hard working, law-abiding, happily married, gun-toting, devoted father. It doesn’t get much more “minority” than that. And before you even think about mentioning the idea that “my people” have never been persecuted, let me point out a few things.



Try being Southern to boot.  

Link Posted: 11/20/2008 11:38:41 AM EDT
[#30]
I am not American,but brother,I salute you!
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 11:40:00 AM EDT
[#31]
VERY well said, thank you!!! Hope you don't mind if I send it to a few people as well.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 11:42:15 AM EDT
[#32]
Wonderfully well stated! You can count me as another of last American Minority, however, I will NEVER be a victim....Shrps74
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 12:24:10 PM EDT
[#33]
hell ...

on top of all that i'm a registered nurse
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 12:32:58 PM EDT
[#34]
Time to repost this from the Clinton era:

I Am Your Worst Nightmare.  I am a BAD American.
I like big cars, big boobs, and big cigars.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, dammit.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe Kwanzaa is a fabricated “holiday” for the self-disenfranchised allowing them to further separate themselves from mainstream society; then complain that they are separated and disenfranchised.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
I think Oprah is a big fat self-righteous self-promoting pig.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are still footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't even begun to be enlightened.
I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, anywhere at anytime.  Just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality, don’t recruit me.
Hillary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian.
My heroes are John Wayne, South Park and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich and I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie cooked up by pseudo-science.  Where are all those experts now, while I'm freezing my ass through another long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave.  I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt.  I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you.  So shut-the-hell-up already.
I want to know which church it is exactly where the Reverend Jessie Jackson preaches.  And where does he get his money.  And why does he always become a part of the problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.  I also think they have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.  If you look like a terrorist you should be doing everything you can to find the real terrorists, then we’ll leave you alone.  For now, empty your pockets and shut up.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I worry about dying before I get even.
I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making “donations” to their cause.  These people should be wearing targets.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I enjoy watching high-speed pursuits, the more damage the better.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement or even individualistic.  And don’t be surprised if I don’t hire you.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I believe if she has her lips on your dick, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you.  This even applies when she is a fat pig with self-esteem issues, and you are President of the United States.  "Is" means is, dumbass!
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 12:39:49 PM EDT
[#35]
I fell your pain brother.  Thank goodness there will always be true men around to do the right thing.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 12:43:22 PM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
Time to repost this from the Clinton era:

I Am Your Worst Nightmare.  I am a BAD American.
I like big cars, big boobs, and big cigars.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, dammit.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe Kwanzaa is a fabricated “holiday” for the self-disenfranchised allowing them to further separate themselves from mainstream society; then complain that they are separated and disenfranchised.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
I think Oprah is a big fat self-righteous self-promoting pig.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are still footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't even begun to be enlightened.
I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, anywhere at anytime.  Just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality, don’t recruit me.
Hillary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian.
My heroes are John Wayne, South Park and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich and I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie cooked up by pseudo-science.  Where are all those experts now, while I'm freezing my ass through another long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave.  I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt.  I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you.  So shut-the-hell-up already.
I want to know which church it is exactly where the Reverend Jessie Jackson preaches.  And where does he get his money.  And why does he always become a part of the problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.  I also think they have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.  If you look like a terrorist you should be doing everything you can to find the real terrorists, then we’ll leave you alone.  For now, empty your pockets and shut up.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I worry about dying before I get even.
I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making “donations” to their cause.  These people should be wearing targets.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I enjoy watching high-speed pursuits, the more damage the better.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement or even individualistic.  And don’t be surprised if I don’t hire you.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I believe if she has her lips on your dick, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you.  This even applies when she is a fat pig with self-esteem issues, and you are President of the United States.  "Is" means is, dumbass!


^This is great

After reading Dr. Seuss he was either brilliant or insane.
Link Posted: 11/20/2008 1:18:04 PM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Time to repost this from the Clinton era:

I Am Your Worst Nightmare.  I am a BAD American.
I like big cars, big boobs, and big cigars.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, dammit.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe Kwanzaa is a fabricated “holiday” for the self-disenfranchised allowing them to further separate themselves from mainstream society; then complain that they are separated and disenfranchised.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
I think Oprah is a big fat self-righteous self-promoting pig.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are still footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't even begun to be enlightened.
I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, anywhere at anytime.  Just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality, don’t recruit me.
Hillary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian.
My heroes are John Wayne, South Park and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich and I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie cooked up by pseudo-science.  Where are all those experts now, while I'm freezing my ass through another long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave.  I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt.  I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you.  So shut-the-hell-up already.
I want to know which church it is exactly where the Reverend Jessie Jackson preaches.  And where does he get his money.  And why does he always become a part of the problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.  I also think they have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.  If you look like a terrorist you should be doing everything you can to find the real terrorists, then we’ll leave you alone.  For now, empty your pockets and shut up.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I worry about dying before I get even.
I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making “donations” to their cause.  These people should be wearing targets.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I enjoy watching high-speed pursuits, the more damage the better.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement or even individualistic.  And don’t be surprised if I don’t hire you.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I believe if she has her lips on your dick, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you.  This even applies when she is a fat pig with self-esteem issues, and you are President of the United States.  "Is" means is, dumbass!


^This is great

After reading Dr. Seuss he was either brilliant or insane.

 

mabe an insane genuis?
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