Here is what I propose to create a safe society:
Effective immediately, all firearms and ammunitions are to be turned in and melted down. No exceptions. The BATF, with support from other federal agencies, will conduct door-to-door searches for firearms and confiscate any firearms, ammunition, or firearm parts.
Effective immediately, privately owned swimming pools shall be outlawed. Those wishing to swim may do so at public pools staffed with lifeguards and underwater cameras. Existing pools shall be either filled with concrete or excavated and filled. This shall apply to all swimming pools on private land including but not limited to homes, apartment complexes, condominiums complexes, hotels, motels, and private health clubs.
Effective immediately, only cutting instruments made for the express purpose of culinary use are to be lawfully owned. Any other cutting instrument is to be considered an edged weapon and must be turned in and melted down. BATF weapons sweeps will include edged weapons. Cutting instruments for culinary use must be attached to a fixed surface with a Kevlar or braided steel wire of not more than one meter.
Effective immediately, all personally owned automobiles are to become propety of the federal government. The federal government shall immediately reclaim its property. Transportation shall be through public mass transit only.
Effective immediately, no bucket may have a solid bottom. Existing buckets with a solid bottom must be destroyed.
Effective immediately, one may only possess a baseball/softball/wiffleball bat if he or she is a member of a recognized sports team that requires the use of such a bat. Bats are to be kept by the team and are not to be in the possession of individuals. All bats must be registered with the BATF.
Effective immediately, one may only possess sections of plumbing pipe if he or she is a plumber. All transactions involving any sections of pipe greater than ten centimeters must be logged. These logs must be made available to the BATF upon request.
Any other suggestions?