Arfcom, I have a problem, of sorts

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Arfcom, I have a problem, of sorts (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:50:02 PM EDT

I own/manage a bar. One of my waitresses and I get along together way too well. I am 23, she is 19, soon to be 20. She has a child(not mine) that is 3 years old, and is currently pregnant(not mine) and is due in October.

To put it in layman's terms, I like her, she likes me, I'm her boss, she has 2 kids, and I'm only 23 not near enough ready for a family, let alone one that isn't mine.

I'm pretty sure I know what I should do, but any advice would be helpful.

To be young, is frustrating.

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:50:57 PM EDT

[#1]

Don't get involved with that.

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:52:26 PM EDT

[#2]

Please, go ask this question in the womens forum.

If you dare.

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:53:02 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Don't get involved with that.

+

&

=

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:53:12 PM EDT

[#4]

your askin for trouble if you follow your dork.

as quoted in the 40 year old virgin "you dont want no baby daddy drama"

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:53:32 PM EDT

[#5]

You're going to get a landslide of good advice, very soon. Do the one thing 23 year old men don't seem very good at doing - following it.

This girl has made some poor choices, and she's still young enough that she's going to continue to make them. She's probably very eager to find stability in her life, and not at all prepared to live with it, and you're for sure not at the age or station in life to take on a family and a head-case girl who hasn't sorted out her issues yet.

Don't get involved. At. All.

You will do her, her children, and most of all yourself a disservice.

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:54:22 PM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
Don't get involved with that.

+1

19 with a 3yo and pregnant again with no daddy around?

EJECT!

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:54:27 PM EDT

[#7]

If you aren't ready for a family she's probably not the one you want to go out with

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:54:36 PM EDT

[#8]

Run..... If you still nkow her in 10 years and think like this , make it happen. You are too young for that crap.....

(and she appearently does not grasp the concept of birth control)

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:56:15 PM EDT

[#9]

And if you own a bar, do you really want to be banging the waitresses? Just no good on several levels.

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:57:17 PM EDT

[#10]

You better think about this before you get in deeper.

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:57:24 PM EDT

[#11]

Dont do it, it's not worth it....sorry,

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:58:30 PM EDT

[#12]

Well hey... she can't get pregnant, right?

Hit it and quit it!

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:59:09 PM EDT

[#13]

If you're smart enough to own your own bar at 23 you should be smart enough to already know the answer to your question.

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:59:27 PM EDT

[#14]

Well, these were the answers i was expecting, and thus I just wanted to reassure myself that I was making the smart choice in all perspectives.

Thanks.

Posted: 7/22/2008 10:59:43 PM EDT

[#15]

She's immature, likes the dick and has kids.

You're her boss, don't want kids and don't want STDs.

I'd stay away.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:00:46 PM EDT

[#16]

Don't shit where you eat.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:02:06 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Well hey... she can't get pregnant, right?

Hit it and quit it!

This has merit as well, but I think I'd have a hard time banging a pregnant chick.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:02:35 PM EDT

[#18]

Well, at 23, sometimes the little head steers the ship, and sometimes the big head steers. I just wanted to make sure I was right, before the little head staged a coup d’é tat.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:03:17 PM EDT

[#19]

Hit it.
With a rubber.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:04:32 PM EDT

[#20]

Don't listen to these guys, they are just jealous. Pound her sweet ass!!

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:08:56 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
If you're smart enough to own your own bar at 23 you should be smart enough to already know the answer to your question.

Hmmm... young woman, with children, can't get a job better than waitressing, making eyes at the young impressionable owner of the bar... Am I tinfoiling, or does anyone else suspect she's got a lawyer in the background?

The only other thing I need is General Akbar's pic: "It's a trap!"

Seriously... there are several likely outcomes to this picture, and NONE of them involve your long-term happiness.

Even if you, say, get a vasectomy, and she cannot claim you are the father of her next child... she's your EMPLOYEE, dammit, and she CAN claim sexual harassment! Have you ever HEARD of some of the horror stories from sexual harassment training? The women are even worse than the men!

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:14:12 PM EDT

[#22]

I know you guys are right, and I know what I will do.

Though, gorram, the little head sure does want to pull his own way.

Thank you all though, for guiding me into the choice I knew was right. Do. Not. Want.
Now where's that picture of that dog....

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:15:19 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
I know you guys are right, and I know what I will do.

Though, gorram, the little head sure does want to pull his own way.

Thank you all though, for guiding me into the choice I knew was right. Do. Not. Want.
Now where's that picture of that dog....

Of course! Hell, I'm sure we've all been there. Luckily enough for you, you have us to ask. Since we're not in the situation, we can think clearly for you.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:16:02 PM EDT

[#24]

I think it is time for the FUCKING EJECT button dude.Someone post it please.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:16:26 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:

Quoted:
If you're smart enough to own your own bar at 23 you should be smart enough to already know the answer to your question.

Hmmm... young woman, with children, can't get a job better than waitressing, making eyes at the young impressionable owner of the bar... Am I tinfoiling, or does anyone else suspect she's got a lawyer in the background?

The only other thing I need is General Akbar's pic: "It's a trap!"

Seriously... there are several likely outcomes to this picture, and NONE of them involve your long-term happiness.

Even if you, say, get a vasectomy, and she cannot claim you are the father of her next child... she's your EMPLOYEE, dammit, and she CAN claim sexual harassment! Have you ever HEARD of some of the horror stories from sexual harassment training? The women are even worse than the men!

There.

As many said, "Don't get your honey where you make your money"
I see nothing but trouble in the future if you go beyond the line.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:21:02 PM EDT

[#26]

I've experienced enough in life to know that 1) you should not get involved with her, and 2) no matter what we say, you'll get involved with her, and learn the hard way. Things are MUCH clearer looking back, than looking forward.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:21:12 PM EDT

[#27]

Run. Just fucking run.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:21:12 PM EDT

[#28]

GTFO!

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:23:59 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted: they are just jealous. Pound her sweet ass!!

like every other guy in the free world apparently already has..

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:28:16 PM EDT

[#30]

This may help

Seriously, though, what the fuck are you thinking? You're not only her boss, you own the place? Would you like to keep owning it? Don't put yourself in that position by banging the help, especially a hot mess like this one.

Never put your meat where you get your bread.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:30:57 PM EDT

[#31]

She's not 20... has a 3 year old... has another on the way.

You're 23.

Are you retarded?

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:45:33 PM EDT

[#32]

What happens if you decide its not working and she decides that you came on to her and sues you for sexual harrasement

Workplace relationships between superiors/underlings just are a bad idea

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:47:35 PM EDT

[#33]

You are young. You should be trying to get as much girls as you can. You'll regret it when you're older. You like her and she likes you, right? Then do what young girls and guys do when they like each other.

Posted: 7/23/2008 12:48:56 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
You are young. You should be trying to get as much girls as you can. You'll regret it when you're older. You like her and she likes you, right? Then do what young girls and guys do when they like each other.

Voting Obama, aren't you?

Posted: 7/23/2008 1:43:57 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Don't get involved with that.

+1

19 with a 3yo and pregnant again with no daddy around?

EJECT!

+Infinity

I don't know why this question is even being asked.

Posted: 7/23/2008 1:45:24 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Well hey... she can't get pregnant, right?

Hit it and quit it!

This has merit as well, but I think I'd have a hard time banging a pregnant chick.

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

And that's all I'm gonna say on this subject.

Posted: 7/23/2008 1:54:55 AM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Don't get involved with that.

+1,000,000

Posted: 7/23/2008 2:00:50 AM EDT

[#38]

I bet 5 bucks he doesnt listen and still hits it.

Posted: 7/23/2008 2:01:09 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Well hey... she can't get pregnant, right?

Hit it and quit it!

This has merit as well, but I think I'd have a hard time banging a pregnant chick.

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

And that's all I'm gonna say on this subject.

Well, that's fine and all. I'm just saying...I think it's kinda weird.

Pregnant bellies scare me.

Posted: 7/23/2008 2:04:38 AM EDT

[#40]

Oh yeah, they all want a good, stable guy- after they've had a few kids with a few losers. You don't need that shit. Tell her you just want to be friends. You'll be a lot better off.

Posted: 7/23/2008 4:37:56 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
Don't get involved with that.

+1

#1- You're much too young to have an "instant family".

#2- She's already shown that she doesn't have good judgement...knocked up twice before the age of 20 indicates a real lack of common sense...she didn't learn the first time.

#3- Because of he current situation, she most likely is only eyeballing you as a paycheck/life-support mechanism for her & her two "fuck trophies".

#4- Related to #3...Go ahead and hit it a couple of times...then don't be surprised when her & her lawyer file a sexual harassment lawsuit. They get your bar & you get hosed.

Distance yourself from her. Now.

Posted: 7/23/2008 4:40:16 AM EDT

[#42]

Stop thinking with your little head.

Posted: 7/23/2008 4:41:53 AM EDT

[#43]

Leave it alone bud.

Posted: 7/23/2008 4:42:14 AM EDT

[#44]

Did they quit making birth control?

2 kids before she is 20 and not even married once?

Way too much drama for a man that seems to have his head on straight.

Posted: 7/23/2008 4:43:54 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
I own/manage a bar. One of my waitresses and I get along together way too well. I am 23, she is 19, soon to be 20. She has a child(not mine) that is 3 years old, and is currently pregnant(not mine) and is due in October.

To put it in layman's terms, I like her, she likes me, I'm her boss, she has 2 kids, and I'm only 23 not near enough ready for a family, let alone one that isn't mine.

I'm sure its really tempting to hit it...
but man, I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole.

If you do, you'll be very sorry.
And... OF COURSE she likes you, you're a 23 year old responsible/successful businessman!
Chances are the baby daddys gots no jobs. Shes seeing security in you, buddy.

You really need to watch your ass.

Posted: 7/23/2008 4:46:37 AM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:
I own/manage a bar. One of my waitresses and I get along together way too well. I am 23, she is 19, soon to be 20. She has a child(not mine) that is 3 years old, and is currently pregnant(not mine) and is due in October.

To put it in layman's terms, ~~I like her~~ I like to f her, she likes me, I'm her boss, she has 2 kids, and I'm only 23 not near enough ready for a family, let alone one that isn't mine.

I'm pretty sure I know what I should do, but any advice would be helpful.

To be young, is frustrating.

You are thinking with the little head, not the one on your shoulders.
Perhaps, PERHAPS, her past can be blamed on immaturity that she can overcome (do you believe in Bigfoot?).
But 19 with a 3 year old, and another on the way now and no dada around. Tell her you want to date for, say 10 years. If you still feel the same way after that (and she doesn't have 20 kids), then marry her. BUT not before.