Dear Tech Support,

I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began
unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the  product
brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys
Night
2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system
whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run
some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back
to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can
you
help me, please!!!

Thanks,

Joe --see Joe's answer below

Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem that men complain about but it is mostly
due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend
7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by
its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to
purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden
operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate
Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to un-install, delete,
or
purge the program files from the system once installed.

You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed
to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but
end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual
under "Warnings - Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0
and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I
might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for
faults
and problems that may occur, regardless of their cause.

Overall, the best course of action will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly
as
long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great
program,
but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to
improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Chocolates 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt
3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely
to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support


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Tyler

pretty funny

That was good, thanks