Article

Come The Rapture: Can I Have Your Car?

Ronald Bailey | June 4, 2008, 3:29pm

Are you worried that when the Rapture comes you will not have time to let your sinful loved ones know that you've been snatched away to heaven?

Well, fortunately there is now an online solution to this pressing problem. The website--You've Been Left Behind--is offering "a Rapture triggered" email service that will alert your friends and family to your heavenly departure. The proprietors explain how their service works:

   We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

   We give you 150mb of encrypted storage that can be sent to 12 possible email addresses, in Box #1. You up load any documents and choose which documents go to who. You can edit these documents at any time and change the addresses they will be sent to as needed. Box #1 is for your personal private letters to your closest lost friends and relatives.

Let's hope that three of the team members are never together in a tragic automobile or airplane accident. The cost for the service? Just $40 for a year.

...wow. When I'm raptured, the LAST thing im worried about is whether or not JoeBlow gets the last chain email

Thank god there's no shortage of complete fucking idiots in the world.

YOU GET PAYED AND HAVE TO DO NOTHING, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT

If it DOES occur, and there's a whole bunch of people gone from this site and the world, you may want to reconsider your thoughts on Jesus Christ.

YMMV



HH

Quoted: YOU GET PAYED AND HAVE TO DO NOTHING, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT

Gonna go out on a limb here and say it is the same reason you cant spell paid?

Quoted: If it DOES occur, and there's a whole bunch of people gone from this site and the world, you may want to reconsider your thoughts on Jesus Christ. YMMV HH

Send me $40 a year and I'll PM you the moment it happens.

Quoted: YOU GET PAYED AND HAVE TO DO NOTHING, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT

When they get raptured, how will they know if you sent out their papers?

Just have a bunch of chain mail in there. That would be some funny stuff.

Quoted: Quoted: If it DOES occur, and there's a whole bunch of people gone from this site and the world, you may want to reconsider your thoughts on Jesus Christ. YMMV HH Send me $40 a year and I'll PM you the moment it happens.

Sorry...won't need it.



HH

Quoted: If it DOES occur, and there's a whole bunch of people gone from this site and the world, you may want to reconsider your thoughts on Jesus Christ. YMMV HH

Unless your left behind to battle the forces of Satan.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: If it DOES occur, and there's a whole bunch of people gone from this site and the world, you may want to reconsider your thoughts on Jesus Christ. YMMV HH Send me $40 a year and I'll PM you the moment it happens. Sorry...won't need it. HH

Can you PM me, then?   I'd like to go loot your abandoned house.

That is awesome.

If I'm an atheist, will I get snatched away to hell during the rapture?  

Quoted: Quoted: If it DOES occur, and there's a whole bunch of people gone from this site and the world, you may want to reconsider your thoughts on Jesus Christ. YMMV HH Unless your left behind to battle the forces of Satan.

Won't happen.



HH

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: If it DOES occur, and there's a whole bunch of people gone from this site and the world, you may want to reconsider your thoughts on Jesus Christ. YMMV HH Send me $40 a year and I'll PM you the moment it happens. Sorry...won't need it. HH Can you PM me, then?   I'd like to go loot your abandoned house.

Go ahead and display your anti-Christian beliefs...I couldn't care less.  

I really hope things ultimately work out for you.

HH

Quoted: Quoted: YOU GET PAYED AND HAVE TO DO NOTHING, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT Gonna go out on a limb here and say it is the same reason you cant spell paid?

The sad part?  Those "raptured", will no longer CARE.  And if it is true, it will be too late for those "left behind".

You see, this is all a sham created for belonging identity.  We are all mortal beings and we all have our rapture.  We don't know that time nor date, could be tomorrow or it could be next year.  

Quoted: Go ahead and display your anti-Christian beliefs...I couldn't care less.   I really hope things ultimately work out for you. HH

Scrounging for supplies is anti-Christian?

The subtle nuances of religious bigotry are lost on me.   What else is anti-Christian?

Quoted: Quoted: Go ahead and display your anti-Christian beliefs...I couldn't care less.   I really hope things ultimately work out for you. HH Scrounging for supplies is anti-Christian? The subtle nuances of religious bigotry are lost on me.   What else is anti-Christian?

No, not at all.  You can read anything you'd like into what I'm saying.  It appears you're looking for a religious fight and that's not going to happen.  You can prepare all you want to, and I've prepared my way.  

Good luck with your path.

HH

Son of a bitch, how come I never think of things like this. I'm always trying to come up with improvements and invent shit when I should just go exploitative instead. DUH.

Quoted: Quoted: YOU GET PAYED AND HAVE TO DO NOTHING, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT When they get raptured, how will they know if you sent out their papers?

just a little technicality........

Quoted: The sad part?  Those "raptured", will no longer CARE.  And if it is true, it will be too late for those "left behind".

if I'm left behind a nice e-mail might be just the thing to cheer me up