Hey guys. I know it's been awhile since I last posted, but I need some advice and I figure this would be the best place to find it.  
 As a lot of you know, I am a member of an elite squad of security agents stationed at a large retail center in a major city. Usually my job is very easy, anything from drop-kicking shoplifters to sniffing out and confiscating weapons. Pounding perps is my specialty and my life. But a new challenge has risen. Terrorism.
 We decided 2 weeks ago to tap the payphones next to the arcade. We have been attempting to infiltrate a large drug smuggling ring that has been operating out of the nearby Radio Shack. While monitoring the calls from our security office, we happened to hear what seemed to be a terrorist plot to take over our mall. Well as you can imagine, this is something that cannot be taken lightly. We immediately decided that our security force, as highly trained as we are, would need to employ extra security measures to protect our customers as well as ourselves. Some of the measures we have already taken are as follows:
1) Replaced standard air tires on our MSV's (mobile security vehicles) with solid tires to prevent possible puntures which could hinder our ability to be anywhere in the mall in about 8 seconds.
2) We have stationed snipers armed with special rifles in each quadrant of our mall. These rifles, chambered in 7mm Rem. Magnum, are glass-bedded, scoped, and fit with bipod and custom hair trigger. We decided this could best be achieved by bringing in large plants and vegetation and our designated sniper (fully dressed in ghillie suit) could sit in the middle of this patch of plants and watch the surrounding area.
3) Brought in dogs, and lots of them. We have employed at least 60 dogs. We wanted all German Shepards, but could not locate as many as were needed so we settled with any pooch that our local pound could muster up. For 2 weeks we have trained these dogs to not only sniff out weapons and drugs, but anyone of middle-eastern descent that might walking/casing the mall.
 Now, my question to you guys is: Is there anything else that we could do to beef up our security here or anything we have left out? We are open to all suggestions as these are crazy times and sometimes more stringent methods of security are needed. If people are not safe to go to the mall, where can they go? It is our job to ensure that our malls stay a mecca, a haven, a bastion of security for all those that enter them. Thank you, Special Forces          

... Just level 4 MOPP suits, Geiger counters and Samauri swords and you'll be set man!

Remind me not to visit your mall... sounds scary to me. If I gotta' die, please don't let it be at the hands of one of the mall patrol who couldn't pass the PD acadamy psyche test.

Hey SF, welcome back. How's Gecko45 doing?

Sounds like you are doing a good job keeping the mall covered.

You might want to consider bullet-proof PVC panels for your MSVs. Will still give you visibility while assaulting down the main concourse along with great protection.
Smoke generators would be a worthy addition also. You do need a safe "exit" strategy just in case, right?
Do you guys practice climbing the escalators with them? I could see the need for that. [:D]

Take care and CoverSix.

Sinistral, what mall are you guys protecting? Metro, Fiesta, or does the dude with joint in his mouth want to hang out at AZ Mills? Stay away from Superstition, the snowbirds are back in force, you'll never get through the massive traffic jam outside of Old Country Buffet!

Ahhhh, how could I forget? Where is Gecko45 when he is needed most? Dude, help me out here. This is serious #@$!

That's a GREAT touch! However, I might suggest that you supplement the "jungle fighters" with a SEAL-type scuba team hiding in the mall fountain — gives the entire mall sort of an "Apocalypse Now"  flavor. The nice thing about this scheme is that you don't have to pay them anything, since they can fish pennies out of the fountain during lulls in the fire fights!

Actually that is a pretty good idea. Our fountain often contains as many nickels, dimes and quarters as it does pennies so the pay may not really be that bad. I will have to mention that to my superiors. Do you mind if I take credit for your idea? Thanks, SF  

sinistral, swing by and get me, I live right down the street from that mall! I saw some geezers today that looked awfully suspicious, of course it's 8:30, on friday, we better start at the bingo halls!

Sounds to me like SF works at Foothills Mall in Maryville. Or maybe Chattanooga with the other paranoid mall cops.

Your mall is sick. You live in fear.I really recommend you see a psychiatrist. First there is no "elite squad of security agents". You are a rent a cop. You are not authorized to tap phones!Get help!

I don't live in fear. This stuff is real. When is the last time that you've been to a major mall? What do you know about security? We work hard and then have to listen to the blowhards we protect disrespect us. I came here for some advice not your drivel. And, we ARE an elite squad and can tap anything we want to. I'll double tap someone if I have to. Talk that smack in my mall and I will prove it.  

Special Forces knows what he is talking about, as you know, I work in the same field as him, maintain similar standards of security, and have a similar situation to deal with, so I think I can judge the appropriateness of his seemingly over-the-line actions better than you, grimshaw.

The honest facts are, there is a crisis in America's malls, just as surely as there is a threat to the Capitol, White House, Sears Tower, and any other place wherein large groups of defenseless people can be attacked without warning. We are the first, last and only line of defense for these people of our retail shopping locations.

Keep this in mind before you start whining about how sick his job may seem. You don't have to deal with the lives of thousands on your conscience, if you fail to take appropriate steps.

Gecko45

Thank God. There you are. Where have you been man?

Things have been rough herel lately, I have spent perhaps 20 hours of every day at the mall in a desparate struggle with unseen foes, to keep the shoppers safe. I've not been around much at all, because of this. A thread of this importance, however, deserves my attention, and as Team C has wings 3 though 7 locked down tight, I can take a couple of minute off, and add my input from the rafters.

Gecko45

I know it. If I wasn't sitting at home on painkillers nursing a bulletwound to the knee, I wouldn't be writing myself. Hey, you ought to see the other guy, though. I cracked his cranium something fierce. You would have been proud!

Our mall has taken many steps to ensure the safety of our patrons, and as they mean everything to us of the elite Retail Security brotherhood, No expense is too great. Our manager understands this, and our budget has been increased %400. Every bit of these newly allocated funds goes to our new security equipment, and our operator's weapons.

Your ideas as suggested in your first post are not half bad, in fact solid tyres had not occured to me. I am placing an order now for them for all Indoor Electric Response vehicles.

Dogs, however, seem to crude of a measure, and overly obvious. We prefer to utilize tiny wireless bugs, planted by a plainclothes operative as they stumble into the suspect. This method is limited in function, as the person must actually speak or subvocalize to make their intentions clear, but luckily(or not) for us, their persistant use of lapel mikes, over scrambled, encypted wavelengths, make this the best way of intercepting their local comms.

Our technicians have installed metal detectors at every door, and all persons 'tagged' by the silent alert are assinged to an agent. This uses up a lot of men, but the activity in the rafters and on the walls has never been noticed before(not by anyone who lived to tell the tale), and the new white noise generators keep undue attention from being given to our roof and rafter ops.

Gecko45

Your teams accomplishments, and your own especially, are always enough to make me proud. I will always hold your actions as those of a dedicated and honorable warrior.

You are not a ninja, however, and as such, you have allowed yourself to perceive your kneeas being wounded. Ninja have the power to forsee any one of a number of alternate outcomes to anysituation, and then perceive themselves in that universe, in which conditions are favorable, thought the use of affirmation, visualization of the goal to be percieved, and meditation.

Had I not perceived otherwise very stenuously, I would have been shot many times over, but my command of Ninjutsu techniques has allowed me to escape perceiving myself in an unfavorable destiny.

You are to be commended for toughing it out, and your willingness to charge back into the fray. I wish you a speedy recovery, as our malls need you, too.

Gecko45

Dang. You guys really have the good stuff! Unfortunately, our budget is not quite as large but my superiors have allowed us to upgrade from pneumatic bean-bag guns on our MSV's to a spankin' new High Point carbine with laser on every vehicle. I think if we add the bulletproof PVC panels that Grundsau was speaking of, we'll be tight. Regardless, I always keep my Jennings Nine in my pocket (which my boss doesn't know about), cocked and unlocked.  

[size=4] [red] hah! hah! hah! Please stop it now guys!!! I am hurtin all over hah! hah! hah! [/size=4] [/red]

You need the wall climbing boots....

One day I wish to study this Ninjutsu you speak of. Although impervious to most pain, I have been put out of commision a few times by gunshots. But usually only 1 day off and then I'm quick into action. I attribute my excellent health to weekly injections of anabolic steroids and lots of coffee. It keeps my mind and body sharp, ready to bend the next perp I encounter into a pretzel.  

Talk that smack gets a double tap in your mall? You run a sick mall. Not bringing my kids there. Not bringing my wife there.I'll watch for you nuts on the news."Fascist Mall rent-a-cop sniper in bushes confused by illegal phone tap conversation gives double tap to guy talkin smack." Film at eleven.

See what I mean?

Hey fruitball... I protect MYSELF! I don't need a rent-a-cop who calls shoppers like me a 'blowhard' deluding himself into thinking that he 'protects' me. Sounds like your mall patrons need protection from the 'protectors'. I sure would LOVE to hear that you F*CKED with one of MY kids because your super-inflated, self-absorbed view of your place in the world somehow or another managed to permit your three brain cells to rationalize that it was okay to use ANY kind of force because they were congregating together and you needed a fix. Not only would I own every material possession that your great grandchildren could ever hope to procure, I would see to it that you were put out of your misery by those who are truly capable and unconcerned about the potential ramifications.

I am seriously concerned when an obviously emotionally distorted Rent-A-Dork publicly displays his wanton trigger happiness. I think the next tragedy will happen during the Christmas shopping season at this guys mall.

What a bonafide WACKO! You give gun owners a bad name.

You can use some of SpecialForces pain killers.

This is what I suspected. Your head is really gonna hurt tomorrow when you remember your "Seige at the Tennesee mall rant".

     I know, you can be disguised as one of those pesky poll takers that some malls allow. No one ever looks these people in the eye for risk of having to answer idiotic questions.
    If someone looks you in the eye, it is obviously a terrorist. Immediately double tap and then check for identification. Guaranteed to work every time.

Hey, you blowhard, you don't have to come to our malls, but if you come and cause a disturbance, you will be dealt with immediately. Why not? Anyone is a potential terrorist, and all who enter the mall must be viewed with suspicion. Causing a disturbance, talking smack, littering, taking extra napkins in the food court-none of these actions are the way to endear yourself to tactical professionals who have a job to do. If you get shot for actying in a dangerous manner, such as being loud and threatening, then too bad, so sad! We operatives have our lines, and crossing them is a mistake, especially in this time of crisis.

Gecko45

I for one applaud the both of you for the immense sacrifices you make in ensuring the saftey of myself and my family from terrorists, hoodlums, and wayward pretzel vendors while we spend our weekends in your malls. [:D]

Quoted:
Now, my question to you guys is: Is there anything else that we could do to beef up our security here or anything we have left out?

Get Officer Carrottop & the horse with red hair.  Times a wastin'.

Mike
[+]:D]

What about the bullet proof tension shock plates?

You could appeal to the Patriots among the Lawn Gnomes.  Be advised, they take no prisoners!

Mike
[+]:D]

Zena Warrior Princess!

Nuff Said.

Mike
[+]:D]

Now that we are friends with the Russkies, you could get their top secret Spasnuts Troopers.  They might be almost as good as you guys.

Mike
[+]:D]

ECW!  Just think of Tazz puttin the Tazzmission on some evil Wog!

Mike
[+]:D]

You, sir, cause trouble in MY mall and you will own nothing but my size 11 boot in your ass. My job is to protect. Yours isn't, so leave your tough talk and your weapons at home. AND, if your kids act up, wear their hat backwards or spit on the mall floor, they will face the same consequences. I've dealt with clowns like you many times. Just come to the mall, shop and leave. No funny business.  

You could get the Terminator.  Not the bad one from T1, but the good one from T2.  Of course, if he is busy, Geeko45 could use his Numbjitsu powers to make the evil one be nice!

Always trying to help a Fellow Patriot

Mike
[+]:D]

Oh, ha ha! You made a funny! Wow![rolleyes]

Now, if you're done poking fun at those who do what you don't, can't, and never will, (because you are too much of a wuss for it, or you would be here), try showing some respect for the man whom you never see, crouched high in the rafters of the mall, or abovve the service ocrridor, with a Rem. 700 LTR or a PSG1(depends on the mall), ready to take out anyone who is a threat, or might be. "Walk the line, and you're fine", as we say in retail security. You're just the type who will cause a disturbance, for no other reason that to rile and distract professionals at their work.

You make me sick, joking boy.

Gecko45

Quoted:
You could get the Terminator. Not the bad one from T1, but the good one from T2. Of course, if he is busy, Geeko45 could use his Numbjitsu powers to make the evil one be nice!

Always trying to help a Fellow Patriot

Mike

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Oh, ha ha! You made a funny! Wow!

Now, if you're done poking fun at those who do what you don't, can't, and never will, (because you are too much of a wuss for it, or you would be here), try showing some respect for the man whom you never see, crouched high in the rafters of the mall, or abovve the service ocrridor, with a Rem. 700 LTR or a PSG1(depends on the mall), ready to take out anyone who is a threat, or might be. "Walk the line, and you're fine", as we say in retail security. You're just the type who will cause a disturbance, for no other reason that to rile and distract professionals at their work.

You make me sick, joking boy.

Gecko45

Who is joking?  You are the one with Teenage Mutant Ninja powers right?  Anyway, you boys might also try to get the Popemobile.

Mike
[+]:D]

Coming soon to a Mall near You!

oh jeez, here we go again!

"Pounding perps is my specialty and my life. But a new challenge has risen. Terrorism."

My name is Friday,I'm a cop.

I love drag net[:D]

LOL! your so full of sh!t Mr.Fife.


!!!! code red in the food court!!!!!

"Who is joking? You are the one with Teenage Mutant Ninja powers right? Anyway, you boys might also try to get the Popemobile."


Nooooooooooo! they have cars[rolleyes] they call them MSVs or something.


And you better be glad they do! lets say one day you left your lights on and needed a jump,well thank God for SpecialForces
cuz he could just pull the big ol'MSV over and hook you up!

Not just anybody can do that[^].........ok so they can just don't say anythink you'll make him feel bad.

No, you have NEVER dealt with someone like me.... because you WORK IN A FUCKING MALL FOR A LIVING. Now if you happen to stumble over someone's brain stem while clearing the food court of empty trays, then quickly jam it into your ear. If you are lucky enough that it takes, then quickly find your way down to Blue Section 1F to B.Dalton Booksellers and grab a copy of Hooked on Phonics. Then you might actually have a fighting chance in kindergarten again. I know that you would rather eat paste, but you really do have to get an education so that you aren't made fun of for being a mall cop with pepper spray and one of those Realistic 2-ways from Radio Shack in Red Section 2F.

Chill out dude,this guy is not real.
This hole post is bull,DON'T FEED TO TROLL!





well ok go ahead[:D]