I'm thinking about doing that whole "Marriage" thing. But I'm having a few doubts (like everyone I guess).

I'm not going to tell you all all of my business, (sorry to disappoint you) but one of my concerns is the fact that the wife-to-be doesn't like guns. Don't ask me why, because I've asked her why, and never got a straight answer. She always says "I don't know, I just don't like `em." Then I think W.T.F. kinda answer is that!? What can I do to get her to the range (cause she doesn't want to do that either) and see that these big black guns are for more than protecting the home?

On another note, I want a dog. Not Kujo or anything, but maybe a staffshire or a boxer at largest. A little terrier like that one from "My dog Skip" is what I have in mind. I just want a dog that wont eat me out of house and home. She has a problem with the dogs I like too. She wants all those pretty, walking carpet looking dogs. Any "cute" dog that you can think of, that's one that she would like (I thought the "My dog Skip" type dog would be the best of both worlds, but I don't know the name of the breed.) Any suggestions on a compromise for us both. Please don't say poodle because they are cute and hunting dogs at the same time. I don't care, I want a REAL dog.

One of the salesman at work came over to my desk today and told me that his wife finally went to the range after he worked on her for only 8 YEARS!

not familiar with my dog skip, but you might like the soft coated wheaten terriers. dont confuse it with the yorkshire, or jack russell, the wheaten is about 50-60lbs.

doesn't shed, good watchdog, and loves outdoors. friendly and quiet. a herding dog, they are active and fun. as long as you don't groom it like the fruitcakes who show them do, it will even look like a real dog.

Does your wife mind you having guns?  If not, don't worry about it.  My wife doesn't "like" guns either, but she understands I do and supports my beliefs and hobbies, even if she doesn't share them.

Now the dog, that is something to go to war on. [:D]  Go to the AKC site and just start going through all the breeds, you might find one you have in common.  Or take her to a dog show.  If you want info on how to find one email me and I'll let you know.

Life is full of conflicts, don't see them as problems, just see them as opportunities to grow and learn about each other.

That's too long. In 8 years my arsenal will have grown much too large for me to clean all those guns alone.

Edited to add:

No, she doesn't mind me having guns. I don't [b]think[/b] she has any plans on moving in and getting rid of all my guns (knocking on wood). The way I look at it, I just want her to enjoy firearms as much as I do. I don't want her to think that a $2k rifle is an expense not worth having (well, I don't think it is).

About the dogs, thank you. I didn't think of that. But I suppose we can both browse the internet and see what we like. I'm sure we'll come to an agreement on something.

Good luck, brother. I worked on my California-native, UC Berkeley-educated wife for years before I got her squared away.

Aviator is dead on the money.

[size=6][b]GROSS GENERALIZATION ALERT!![/b][/size=6]
Men think and women feel. Ask a woman what she wants for dinner and you get something like, "I don't know, what do you feel like?" Ask a man, and you get, "I was thinking about a steak."

Without being a dick about it, I called her on her "feelings," and got her to come to a logical conclusion instead of an emotion-driven hope.



Your mileage may vary. Void where prohibited by law. Keep hands away from rotating blades. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Caution: coffee may be hot. Owner assumes all responsibility for severed limbs. Keep hands away from the cage entrance. Sold in as-is condition.

Think she'd be up for following the thread here on the Forum?
Maybe even posting a couple of questions to the Ladies of AR15.com?
It doesn't have to come down to a fight between the two of you, but, maybe she'd have some fun seeing this subject discussed here.
Good Luck, Amigo!

Put teddy bear stickers
on all of your guns
and get a beagle.

ROFLPP!


Aviator  [img]www.milpubs.com/aviator.gif[/img]

LMAO, yeah mine was a Woodside raised Berkeleyite.  She was listening to NPR on the car radio on our first date. [rolleyes]  But she is smart enough to learn and though I wouldn't call her a libertarian yet, she is definitely questioning a lot of her veiws.

ET3-  Yeah, I wish the wife liked guns more, but jewelery is her thing.  I don't understand why she likes a rock that costs a couple grand and she doesn't understand why I have "so many" guns. We just try to support each other.

BusMaster007: I see where your going with this. Would be something I would normally do, but I know her better than that. I don't believe she would post honestly here. Plus it would probably get her more "upset" than help in any way. But thanks for the idea.

gardenWeasel: You first with the stickers. And no, I'm not Charlie Brown.


Ok, what if I buy her like a .380 or a .22? How many of you out there have had better results with smaller caliber weapons? All I currently own is rifles, and it may be that they look intimidating (I guess, not to me they don't). Suggestions?

My wife was the same way.  Then...

We had been married a few years, had one small child.  I was away on business.

Late one night some fool tried busting in the front door, even with my German Shepard growling and barking at him through the door.  

She was so scared she did not even wait for me to come home.  When I got home, first words from her were, "I bought a .38 revolver and a box of hollow points (she bought 158 Gr +P HP's).  Take me out to learn to shoot it."  

I have had no anti-gun crap from her in years.  I can buy nearly anything I want, no sweat.  She will even tell me, "Oh, honey, there's a gun show next weekend at the civic center."

I asked her what changed her mind way back when... well, it was one thing, she said, just her, but with a child...

Whatever you do, iron this gun and dog thing out before you tie the knot. Those gents who work on their wives for years with limited success are few and far between.
If my wife didn't like guns, or tolerate them, she wouldn't be my wife.
Too many pro-gun women out there.
Oh yeah, another thing. Women seem to act different after they learn to shoot. Watch your back (do the dishes, take out the garbage, you know)
:-)
Robert

The type of dog you are referring to is a Jack Russell Terrier...

My girlfriend was the same way [i]Don't ask me why, because I've asked her why, and never got a straight answer. She always says "I don't know, I just don't like `em."[/i] when I met her.
I just took her shooting with me a couple of times and showed her how to shoot me Ruger 10/22 scoped so she could hit the target.  Her attitude has changed she still doesn't think I should buy $1000 guns but every time I go to the range she takes the Ruger with her.

Thank you Noname.

A_Free_Man: I don't want her to go threw all of that to enjoy firearms.

rpd_fire: Yeah, that's how I think this is going to be once I finally get her to the range. The problem is, she really isn't too fond on going, and I don't want to press it and make it a bigger issue than what it is. Believe you me, I want my guns, and their not going anywhere. I just want her to enjoy them too.

Ratters: I like jewelry too. But I'll buy more guns/ammo before I buy another watch/chain.

Aviator: You sound like you've been married for a while and have had some battles with the wife. Thank you for your suggestions.

RobertInMaine: That's kinda the point, but I'm going to marry her regardless if she still wants a stupid poodle. We just wont have a dog. But the gun issue, I'm content keeping what I have. But I also want to expand and I don't want to hear anything about it in the years to come.

(Debating if I should e-mail her a link to this thread.)

Dump her, stay single, get the dog you want. In 10-15 years, long after a husband /wife  relationship has gone stale, the dog will have the decency to die. Then get another dog. Way easier.

You could always try this approach.  Tell her you know she doesn't like guns but that would would appreciate and feel more comfortable if she would take the time to learn what they are an how to handle them.  Just encase she ever finds one or needs to move one.  That way she won't get hurt.

It might be enough to break through the barrier and get her out to the range a couple times.

WTF is a real dog if you won't count a Standard poodle? Second smartest dog after the german shep, big (mine is 70lbs, 27in high), can be trained as a watch/defense dog (used as a police dog in parts of euorope), and is loyal as hell. When I was a little kid, we had one. It did not leave my, or my little sister's, side and was EXTREMELY protective to suspicious individuals and gentle to friends. A distant realitive that turned out to be abusing a second cousin almost got his face ripped off, ended up with stitches on his lower lip, when he reached into our car to hug my sis. Years later, the father of the girl he was abusing bought the dog a steak. The dog lived 15 years, all of which were great.

Great dog, and the wife can be happy by making the pooch look like a freaky poofy thing too.

I bought a set of consecutive-numbered Davis .380s:  one for me and one for her, but she never wanted to go shoot at the range, so they're locked in the safe with all my other guns.  I figured maybe a revolver would be better, so she put in the closet.  I took it away from her when she was upset with me one time and actually pulled it out and thought about using it!  Needless to say, she has none now.  She doesn't mind me buying them for myself (if I even tell her... she has no idea what I have), as long as she gets her jewelry.  As far as pets, she likes dogs, I like cats.  It was better to have none.

As long as she doesn't insist on a No-Guns-Allowed-In-My-House rule, it doesn't sound to me like irreconcilable differences. She'd probably like for you to share some of her repulsive interests, too, such as antiques, macrame or collecting beanie babies. Having identical interests is a certain recpie for ending up with absolutely no free time to yourself!

Likewise, you can probably compromise on a dog. I'll bet she'd fall in love with just about any puppy she saw at an animal shelter (learn to use her emotions against her!). Or, get her a cat, and then get whatever kind of dog you want.

When my wife and I were dating, she used to cringe at the sight of firearms.

It took some doing, but eventually I got her to come around !

I started by inviting her over to my house for dinner and after dinner, I broke out the 'ol folding table and gun cleaning supplies.

I started with a small .38 revolver and let her handle it (safely, of course) and explained how it worked and showed her that it was definitely "EMPTY" and not capable of "killing little kids".

Eventually, I took her out shooting at a local indoor range --  she refused to fire or even pick up a gun.  

I just ignored her and plinked for about an hour or so.

When we got home, I forced her to go through the whole "cleaning" process again.

Believe it or not, the second time we went to the range, I got her to fire it !

After a while, she became very much involved in the sport of target shooting.  (she was a natural)

She now shoots better than I do (I've had a few failed spine procedures) and she calls her gun "the equalizer".  She knows that she can handle any trouble that comes her way and that, provided they are stored and handled properly, guns are a tool.

Good Luck !   Take it slow, but don't marry her if she insists on you getting rid of your guns.

The reason why she's probably "scared" of guns is because she doesn't know anything about them. My mom used to be like that, but I told her about gun rights and she even went to the range; she's much more open minded now. Just take her shooting w/ a .22 rifle or pistol, an AR nay be kind of intimidating.

my girlfreind used to like poofy useless dogs.  I got her to watch a lab for two weeks.  Now we have a lab and she wants a playmate for it.  If your girlfriend loves stuff that will interact with her, get a lab, labs learn to interact with different people differently.  The lab she watched thought she should be protected from me and sleep real close to her.  the labs dedication won her over, and its lack of co-ordination sealed her love of labs.

remeber to keep the issues seperate with her, or you will trade her way on one issue and your way on the other.

As others have said, make *real* sure that she doesn't have a problem with you having guns in the house.

Also, don't enter into a marriage with plans to change the other person.  That sort of thing just doesn't work out in real life.  Figure out where she's coming from, and see if it's something you can live with.

On the gun issue, she might feel better if you can hook her up with another woman (or group).  Do any local ranges have "women's night" or some such?  Any femals co-workers who are shooters, or shooting buddies with shooting wives you could team up with?

Or try the self protection angle, if she's OK with guns in the house.  Tell her that since you are going to have guns in the house, you want her to know how to shoot and how to handle the gun.  Tell her she'll make you happy if she just pays attention to you for an hour or two, and goes to the range once.  Then you just have to be real sure she has a good time.  :)

I'd go for a .22 over a .380 - most of the .380s out there are pretty small/light guns, and tend to have a bit of recoil.  Get something like a Ruger or Browning Buckmark .22 pistol, or a .22 revolver (low noise and low recoil).  Start the targets out big and close, and hope she's like almost everyone else who falls in love with shooting after trying it.

I do agree that doing a "high pressure sale" on shooting is certainly going to turn her off.  (remember, if you're wondering about marrying her, then she's also wondering about you).

If all else fails, as a last-ditch effort, you could make the sacrifice of doing something she's been trying to get you to do in exchange for her tagging along to the range.

Good luck!

It took me years and years to finally accept the fact that females can do/think things for absolutely not reason at all. Males can not relate to this and will waste time pondering what she really means.

Just listen when they say the think/do something for no reason. That is it. Thier thought patterns go no deeper than that. There is no altenate reason or secret reason, just no reason is enough for a female.

As long as she understands you had the guns/hobby before you got here and this is not going to change, there is no reason to bring her into your hobby. Quality time away from spouses can be good for the marriage.

Give in on the dog. Cause in a while her dog will need a playmate then you can get the dog you want.

I got lucky, my wife was hunting long before she met me & she loves guns. I'm almost finished building a lightweight M4gery for her because my dissipator (HBAR) is too heavy for her to shoot comfortably. She likes big (real) dogs too.

BTW...there is a Rottweiler that lives down the street named Cujo. He keeps breaking his chain (BIG Chain, this dog is a monster) and coming over to my house to sleep on my porch, he adopted me :) but he is the nicest dog I have ever seen, I've never even seen him growl.....should I keep him?

I have a friend who has won many woman's pistol titles.  She is now engaged to an anti.  The guy is so afraid of guns he won't even carry her gun box.  He came to the range with her one time and wanted to know where he could go and listen to the ball game on his walkman without getting shot.  Go figure????

sumo 2000: keep dog, defend with gun

My wife isnt crazy about guns, but she has been to the range and knows how to safly load and shoot her handgun if she needs to. After ten years of wedded bliss I have come to the conclusion that my time at the range or in "my little corner of the basement" is the only f$&@*!n time I have to myself, she knows how to defend her self if need be. if she wanted to go to the range with me thats fine. but I sure do enjoy the time I get to myself. [:)>]

All of the previous advice was real good.  I've been married 28 years, a lot of it spent at sea, leaving my wife alone to care for our two little ones.  My wife gave me essentially the same story a long time ago, which is not surprising, given women's sources of information, culture and news.  Consider who runs Hollywood and the media.  Do we have any pro-firearm folks there besides our President Charlten Heston?  Very few.  Have you ever sat down and spent a day watching daytime TV with her?  I can't stand it!  Those daytime talk shows, like Lifetime are so biased, uninformed and plain rediculous it is simply beyond comprehension!  Let's face it, Men and our culture are rather disgusting to women and they just don't understand.  My wife still asks why I NEED any more than one gun!
Our universities are even worse.  They are hotbeds of anti-gun, PETA, commie PC group-think.  (I know...I plan on teaching there after I retire from this second career.)
Your fiance's friends are certainly not going to come out and say they like guns.  So, considering the world in which women move, is it any surprise that they would be at least uncomfortable with firearms?
Having said all that, I recommend the following:
First, go out and buy a couple of books on firearms.  I recommend "More Guns, Less Crime", by Dr. John R. Lott.  Read it...study it.  Very dry full-of-statistics-graduate sort of book but absolutely the finest work on the subject ever.  Research your case first.
Then...sit down with her and discuss it.  Pick the right time and place.  Don't do it in front of her liberal female friends.  You WILL lose that battle.  Don't do it when imbibing adult beverages...clouds the mind.
Next, familiarize her with the safe and proper operation of your firearm[s].  Make sure she understands the rules of engagement clearly.  Convince her that you're not a Rambo type about to shoot up schoolyards and commuter trains.  Take her out to the range and show her how to shoot.  One thing though...don't start with a big bore pistol or a 12 ga. shotgun.  She'll be afraid and never get used to shooting.  Even a hot little .380 may be too much.  My Sig P-230 even kicks too much for my wife.  I bought her a little Ruger 101 in .357 mag.  She can shoot .38s in it and they aren't too hot.
For the record, the incident that finally cured my missus happened one night when I was out at school.  I stopped briefly at my folks house and she called to tell me that there was a burglar trying to jimmy the back door.  I asked if she was armed with my 1911 and she said she was...loaded, cocked and locked.  I rushed home while my parents called the cops.  I arrived just ahead of the local prowl car...and the burglar fled as we pulled up.  I gave her the secret knock, she opened the door a bit...just enough for me to reach in, relieve her of my cannon and unload and safe it.  She never complained of my desire to own firearms again.  Trust me...she would have dusted that guy, had he got in.  That mother-bear was going to protect her babies (3 and 1 years at the time.).
This process will take some time.  Don't rush her.  Explain to her that this is part of the marriage sharing process...but don't give up.
Good luck!
[soapbox]

I got the whole commercial thing on my HD. Great!!

Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

You've got to make sure she knows that you're the one who wears the pants in the family and that mamby-pamby shit like "I don't know" doesn't fly. Remember, almost all women want a man to lead them. That's especially critical with those "I don't know" types. Are you ready to make all the decisions? Some guys aren't, and there's nothing wrong with that, they just need a different type of woman. I myself like a woman whom I know I could leave and go to war and come back 2 years later and know that she has taken care of everything. It can be tough being the only "adult" in a household, I know, been there too.

I know this doesn't sound really hi-tech, but have you folks tried your lady friends on an air gun.  There are many of them out there, get a good one that is made by Walther.  There ones that look very similar to a Baretta 92, Walther P99, 1911s, S&W Mod 29, Colt Python.

find someone else, save yourself a lot of pain and money.

My fiance isn't too keen about guns either. But, she also knows I enjoy going to the range and buying guns, and she's great with that. As far as she is concerned, when I'm at the range on Sunday, she can go shopping with her friends. We both get some "our" time, and it has been working great!

She might not like guns, but heck, I don't like candle parties, or makeup parties, or Avon parties, but it's no reason to break-up with someone. Everyone has their own interests, as long as she accepts yours, I see no problem.

Av.

Man, it's posts like these that make me grateful I found my wife.  She has none of these hangups, I can't keep her away from the range, and she's already got names for the british bulldogs we're going to buy next year. [:D]

God Bless Texas

Guess what my girlfriend & I call Happy Fun Ball?

I spoke to the misses today after reading a majority of the post, and I have come to the conclusion that it's probably a good thing she's not too interested.

The most important reason, it gives me time alone if I ever feel I need it. I know she's not terrified of them, and she is qualified to carry them and use them (she's military folks.) But she just doesn't like them. I'll get over it.

About the dog, I knew all along the bringing home of the puppy and Insta-love! But I'm not looking to deceive her with a cute Pitt Bull pup (even though I still want one.) We came to an agreement on the Jack Russell. Not a large working dog, but I can still teach the lil thing to go hunting. And like any dog, they don't know their own size; so they are more brave than their own good.

Thanks for all the suggestions/comments.
- ET3 out.

M-O-V-E  O-N !!!

I guess I'm the lucky one.  Gots a girl who loves shooting my Sig, who's complaining because when SHTF I get the AR and she has to make do with a hand-me-down M1 Carbine, and who thinks that I'm going to buy a dog that's too "fru-fru" for her.  

The control procedure has already begun my friend. Stop and think about it,you know her better than we do! She doesn't like guns, she doesn't like your idea of a dog. If she said yes, she's counting on changing you my friend.
Are you ready to change? My wife is not crazy about guns and I am not crazy about going to plays. I shoot with my friends and kids and she goes to the plays with her friends. She was not to keen on my choice of a dog either. I have a Rotty. I told her to get whatever kind of dog she wanted. Bottom line is if you cannot be yourself after marriage, run like hell and do so until you can find a woman who respects your god given right to be just that. And oh by the way you don't have a right to change her either. Thought I would say that before the stones start flying but I truly believe that.Good Luck whatever your choice is.

We think alike my friend!

I would not like to suggest someone trade a fiance' for a gun but look at that attitude VERY hard.  If guns are near and dear to your heart and she objects to them, you will have trouble. If she's just neutral it's a little better but not much.  She'll give you crap for EVERY SINGLE gun you buy just cause she doesn't understand.  My wife was raised with 6 bros that all hunted and was raised around guns all her life. She likes to shoot and she STILL gives me a little of a hard time when I  buy a new gun because she thinks I have enough (NEVER!).  
So think about it very very hard and get a firm grip on her attitudes.  and be willing to give up some of your "Freedom" to pursue your hobby unless you can get her more enthused about it before you tie the knot.

good luck!

IMHO taking her shooting at balloons filled w/flour will help. I've never seen anyone that didn't get a kick out of that.


crash.

"Is the f*cking you're getting,
worth the f*cking you're geting?"

My advice, keep the guns YOU like and get a dog YOU want. Big ass German Sheppard is a good choice. If she wants to marry YOU, it is a complete package deal.

If she has problems now, it will be a disaster later.

One thing I've seen, the love you have for them now can never compete with the hate you feel for them later when you discover you married the wrong woman.

Well said SteyrAUG, I see where your comming from on that one. But besides the gun and dog issue, there really is no other problem (that I have seen). I'm sure she'll just get used to the guns. I won't doubt that she's going to have something to say when I decide to buy more. And the whole dog thing, I just rather not have a dog than have a dog I don't like/want. I can buy more ammo with the dog food money! [>:-)]

Like the man said:

Any time I feel like getting married, I go find a woman I hate and buy her a house. It saves the time and expense of a divorce that way.