[url]http://webcube.sensible-net.com/~jcrouch/gun-nut.htm[/url]

Funny as hell. If it wasn't so long I'd have posted it here and checked off the ones that apply to me.

BTT

Here's the top ten:

1.You ever seriously thought about dabbing a little Hoppe's #9 on your neck before going out on a date.
2.You buy a gun that's just like that other gun you have except the barrel is 1/2" shorter (longer).
3.You ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.
4.You ever bought ammo/reloading dies in a caliber for which you have no gun, because you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber.
5.You bought a barrel of Garand clips for the Garand you're going to buy.
6.You ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better".
7.You ever had to explain "It's not the SAME gun, it's a different VARIANT".
8.You read the sports section/classifieds just for the gun ads.
9.You have ever had your local gun store call your house and ask "We are doing a stock order, did you need anything??"
10.You do all metric-to-English unit conversions starting with the phrase, "Well thirty caliber is .308 inches and 7.62mm, so…"

ROFL.... This happens every week.. 9. You have ever had your local gun store call your house and ask "We are doing a stock order, did you need anything??"

Hornady Match 52g HPBT don't shoot as well as Sierra MK 52g HPBT in my 700VS .... 6.You ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better".

I only answered yes to seven (7) of the items SteyrAUG post.  I don't guess I'm a gun nut.  Well, now I feel better.z

Here are some of the ones that I resemble

You ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.
You ever bought ammo/reloading dies in a caliber for which you have no gun, because you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber
You do all metric-to-English unit conversions starting with the phrase, "Well thirty caliber is .308 inches and 7.62mm, so…"
You notice that every time you look at a digital clock it reads 1:17, 2:19, 2:20, 2:22, 2:23, 2:43, 2:57, 3:03, 3:08, 3:57, 4:04, 4:16, 4:44, 4:58, 5:56 or any of about fifty-odd caliber's you instantly recognize

You make all combinations to locks into things like 223, 357, 380, 308, 243, etc. (when I was a teenager I figured out that the parental lockout of the playboy channel was 350 for my dads favorite rifle the .350 RM)
Your guns are cleaner than your home
You collect brass even though you only buy factory ammo.
You pick up brass in calibers you don't shoot, just in case.
You shout out gun names makes and calibers during every movie you go and see.
You keep quoting Jeff Cooper while at work
Your car has a bumper sticker that reads "My wife - yes, my car - maybe, my gun - NEVER (hell yeah)
You consider concealed carry every time you shop for clothes
You only watch movies so you can find the gun errors.
You dream house has a double basement so that you can have an indoor range, a walk in gun vault, and still be able to build a rec room in the first basement level so that the TV will have a safe backstop

Man, reading that, I can remember times I have done things just like the examples. That is freaky, they are really watching, just trying to get us to admit to this. Run!

Seriously, this rocks, thanks for posting it.
Ice

Or you have walked out of, or turned off a movie because the gun errors were so bad.  

Glad I am not the only one who has thought about the dream house with a range and walk in vault.

The first things you gather when packing for a
vacation are your sidearm & extra loaded magazines.

Let's see....got the gun & mags.....now what?

Wife stares with a "WTF?????" look........

When I was a field technician on the road, the combination to my toolbox was 308. I'm hopeless.

Hmmmmm......

None of those really apply to me.

Which means, I am NOT an imbalanced "gun nut" and its OK for me to go out and  buy more guns rather than paying my mortgage and utility bills.

[BD]

Some good ones:

1.  You ever seriously thought about dabbing a little Hoppe's #9 on your neck before going out on a date.
20.  You notice that every time you look at a digital clock it reads 1:17, 2:19, 2:20, 2:22, 2:23, 2:43, 2:57, 3:03, 3:08, 3:57, 4:04, 4:16, 4:44, 4:58, 5:56 or any of about fifty-odd caliber's you instantly recognize.
24.  You make all combinations to locks into things like 223, 357, 380, 308, 243, etc.
37.  Your guns are cleaner than your home.
42.  You're a computer specialist and you have more issues of Shotgun News and Gun List than MacWeek and PCWeek.
44.  Your phone number, license plate, extension at work, PIN etc. relates to some kind of bullet caliber ON PURPOSE.
51.  You preach how stupid gun laws/bans are at work when you work in a predominately ANTI-gun company.
52.  You rather ban alcohol than hi-cap clips/mags.
54.  Your guns are worth twice as much as your car.
57.  You alternate silvertips and hydra-shocks in your magazines because they look prettier that way.
58.  You guess range and windage whenever you look at road signs.
63.  Your key-ring fob is a converted .50 BMG cartridge.
69.  You retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
72.  Your wife wants to wear black leather, so you buy her a carry holster.
76.  You would like to see Bill Clinton or Sarah Brady spend even one hour after midnight at a Washington, DC bus-stop without their bodyguards.
78.  Your girlfriend thinks that aura of Hoppies #9 is your favorite after shave.
90.  If most of your VISA/MC bill includes charges to places like: MidSouth Shooters Supply, Widners, Graff&Son, Sinclair International, and Champions Choice.
101.  You shout out gun names makes and calibers during every movie you go and see.
102.  Every time you see a structure, you wonder what kind of penetration your favorite round will have on it.
105.  When you have enough guns to take over a small third world country.
106.  All your shirts say things like HK, Colt Mossberg, and all your hats have names of ammunition manufacturers.
107.  You'd trade in your car for a Beta C-Mag.
114.  You watch old WWII movies and can identify and look at all the rifles and handguns but can't remember who starred in the movie or what it was about.
115.  follow up: If, when you watch a WWII movie, you have to get out th' old Garand and 1911 and help John Wayne shoot the Japs and Krauts. Even when he's in the Navy.
116.  If, while helping John, you've ever actually shot the TV. ("Is this thing loaded?")
117.  While watching the movie "Terminator 2" you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwartzenneger throws the CAR-16 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away.
121.  You have more .50 cal ammo cans than the U.S. government.
125.  If 30.06 or 8X57 to you is just as appealing as 36-24-36.

129.  You buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
130.  You tell your wife that you happened to talk to your friend the gun dealer and she says, "Oh Lord, what did you buy this time?"
137.  You start feeling uneasy if you have fewer than 500 rounds on hand for your favorite shooter.
144.  When your littlest son cheers and yells "DEER MEAT" when Bambi's mother gets shot.
156.  You can't remember the plot of the last movie you saw, but you can name the model, caliber, and finish of every firearm in the movie.
157.  You reflexively count the number of shots fired by every weapon in the film, then gripe to your friends when the guns exceed the capacities.
160.  You take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
168.  When you go to the magazine rack, you check the Guns and Ammo cover to see if there are new guns as compared to checking the Playboy cover to see what it is offering (of course, this could be indicative of the older male).
171.  You carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to show off your "babies".
178.  You think there is some special significance when you glance at a digital clock and it shows 3:08, 3:57, 2:23, etc., no matter how many times you see it.
193.  You take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
199.  You consider concealed carry every time you shop for clothes.
205.  You only watch movies so you can find the gun errors.
214.  If your wife/girlfriend starts using Hoppes No. 9 instead of perfume to get your attention.
215.  (follow up: Truth is stranger than fiction: I have witnessed friends being asked by (attractive) waitresses what kind of cologne they were wearing, because it smelled good. The cologne in question: Hoppes #9.)
216.  follow up: You know, I've been waiting years for Hoppes to make a cologne, and it makes a nice room freshener. : )
227.  If all your computer passwords are firearms related.
234.  You think a shotgun wedding is what happens when a fellow gets overly fond of his 12 gauge.
236.  You read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!"
257.  You ever had the thought " I wonder what scale that little kids Animal Crackers are, compared to Regulation silhouettes?"
263.  Your teenage daughter's new boyfriend asks, "What are the flags at different places along your driveway for?" and you reply, "Young man, they're range markers."
270.  follow up: I always get a kick out of the newspaper articles that say " several guns were seized, along with 500 rounds of ammo". They must have been cheap or something.
271.  You identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's "Blue Press" before you ever notice the girl.
277.  And you're definitely a gun nut if you read this all the way to the end.

I'll add some of my own:

you introduce yourself to a class of college students that "you're a right wing NRA gun nut"
you answer the question "What you you do if you were a millionare?" with "I'd buy a ****load of guns"

your friends refuse to watch action movies with you becouse of your habit to blurt out the make, model, and caliber of the gun the people are using.

Just the ones that apply to me or when I get the money will.

[list=1]

[*]You ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.[/*]

[*]You ever bought ammo/reloading dies in a caliber for which you have no gun, because you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber.[/*]

[*]You bought a barrel of [s]Garand clips[/s] Stripper Clips for the [s]Garand[/s] Rifle you're going to buy.[/*]

[*]You ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better".[/*]

[*]You ever had to explain "It's not the SAME gun, it's a different VARIANT".[/*]

[*]You read the sports section/classifieds just for the gun ads.[/*]

[*]You do all metric-to-English unit conversions starting with the phrase, "Well thirty caliber is .308 inches and 7.62mm, so…"[/*]

[*]You've ever carried your toiletries into a hotel in [s]New York City[/s] Atlanta contained in a .50 cal ammo can.[/*]

[*]You've ever slept more than five minutes while lying strapped to your rifle in prone position, [s]waiting for the "commence fire" command.[/s] because you thought you heard something.[/*]

[*]You've ever bragged about the size of the groups your semi-auto throws with its empty brass.[/*]

[*]You notice that every time you look at a digital clock it reads 1:17, 2:19, 2:20, 2:22, 2:23, 2:43, 2:57, 3:03, 3:08, 3:57, 4:04, 4:16, 4:44, 4:58, 5:56 or any of about fifty-odd caliber's you instantly recognize.[/*]

[*]The fact that you happened to look at the clock at of one of these times means it's SHOOTIN' TIME! :)[/*]

[*]After realizing that you DO own one of every caliber, you find that you should have at least TWO of each so that they can "share ammo."This explains how you consider your Anschutz 2013 and your Mitchell AK-22 to be "Companion Guns." And your Churchill side-by-side .410 with the fancy English walnut stock to be a companion to your "Thunder
5" revolver. An your Barret .50 BMG to be the companion to your Desert Eagle .50AE.[/*]

[*]You take out your ammo and arrange different rounds in a pretty little row. And if you ask your [s]teenage daughter[/s] friend to look at it, so you can explain stopping power to [s]her[/s] him/her.[/*]
[/list=1]

your friends refuse to watch action movies with you becouse of your habit to blurt out the make, model, and caliber of the gun the people are using.

Damn I thought I was alone [:D]

[list=1]
[*]When [s]in church, after the collection plate is passed, the usher[/s] at Subway you have to pick out [s].22[/s] 9mm shells you had mixed in with your change.[/*]

[*]Your primary cubicle decoration at work or on your fridge at home is your best target group.[/*]

[*]You go to three different gun shows within a month and you're excited every single time.[/*]

[*]Your guns are cleaner than your home.[/*]

[*]Four local gun shops know you by name.[/*]

[*]You're friends with 90%-100% of the employee's at every one of those shops.[/*]

[*]You can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc.[/*]

[*]You're a computer specialist and you have more issues of Shotgun News and Gun List than MacWeek and PCWeek.[/*]

[*]You can read the same issue of SGN/GL/etc. everyday until a new issues comes out.[/*]

[*]You tag pages in SGN/GL for later reference[/*]

[*]You own enough guns to arm everyone on your block.[/*]

[*]You own 4 AR-15's configured EXACTLY the same but by different manufactures (Colt, Bushmaster, Olympic Arms, Armalite, etc.) just because you can.[/*] I wish. But, someday I will.

[*]You'd rather have a $10,000 [s]PSG-1[/s] M-16-A2 and drive a $600 car rather than drive a $10,000 car and have a $600 gun.[/*]

[*]You preach how stupid gun laws/bans are at work when you work in a predominately ANTI-gun company.[/*]

[*]You rather ban alcohol than hi-cap clips/mags.[/*]

[*]You spend more on ammo each month than on food.[/*]

[*]Your guns are worth twice as much as your car.[/*]

[*]If a topless joint with free admission is half a mile away, and instead you drive 40 miles to the shooting range on a Saturday night.[/*]

[*]You alternate silvertips and hydra-shocks in your magazines because they look prettier that way.[/*]

[*]You name your first-born boy MAK90.[/*] I Have Actually considered that. Not a parent, yet.

[*]Your keep your kid's huggies come in camo battlepacks.[/*] Read above.

[*]You get more tense when 007 runs out of ammo than when the Bond girl strips.[/*]

[*]Your key-ring fob is a converted [s].50 BMG[/s] 7.62mm cartridge.[/*]

[*]If "Miller Time" means plinking at beer cans.[/*]

[*]Your [s]wife[/s] girlfriend wants to wear black leather, so you buy her a carry holster.[/*] as well as the Black Leather Dominatrix Outfit.

[*]You would like to see Bill Clinton or Sarah Brady spend even one hour after midnight at a Washington, DC bus-stop without their bodyguards.[/*] Damn, straight. Let's see what would happen.

[*]The custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases [s]and the gear shift knob is a .50 BMG.[/s][/*] Good idea.

[*]You collect brass even though you only buy factory ammo.[/*]
[/list=1]

[list=1]
[*]When you hear or see the numbers 221 you automatically think "fireball", 257 you think "Roberts", 218 "Bee", 4570 "government"
etc., etc. and can't stop.[/*]

[*]Your pickup is subject to search at any given time because, in your state, empty cartridge cases rolling around the floor are considered probable cause.[/*] Not sure, but if it is grounds I'm in trouble.

[*]If the only magazines in your john are "Shotgun News" and "The Blue Press".[/*]

[*]You just buy a type of gun (say a Win Mod. 70) you love the rifle and go out and buy every Mod 70 but in different calibers. Which can lead to below.[/*]

[*]Or: You fall in love with a caliber (say .243) and go a buy every different
manufactured rifle in that caliber. Which can lead to the above.[/*]

[*]Your range time seems a lot like the male equivalent of tupperware parties and you end up

[*]You run out of places to store/hide/harbor your collection.[/*]

[*]If most of your VISA/MC bill includes charges to places like: MidSouth Shooters Supply, Widners, Graff&Son, Sinclair International, and Champions Choice.[/*]

[*]You pick up brass in calibers you don't shoot, just in case.[/*]

[*]You had to have a ammo depot built in your back yard just to hold your extras.[/*]

[*]You replaced your [s]wife's[/s] walk-in closet with a walk-in gun safe.[/*]

[*]Your Laz-E-Boy doubles as your handgun safe.[/*]

[*]You bought 5000 5.56 bullet heads because you are afraid that the ban will go through and you'll have to shoot softpoints through your AR.[/*]

[*]When someone talks about 12 gauge steel, you wonder if it has anything in common with shotguns.[/*]

[*]When you have enough guns to take over a small third world country.[/*]

[*]Your pistol permit reads like a shopping list.[/*]The Files The ATF has do. I don't have a Pistol Permit, yet.

[*]You get blisters on your fingers from loading magazines.[/*]

[*]You watch old WWII movies and can identify and look at all the rifles and handguns but can't remember who starred in the movie or what it was about.[/*]

[*]follow up: If, when you watch a WWII movie, you have to get out th' old Garand and 1911 and help John Wayne shoot the Japs and Krauts. Even
when he's in the Navy.[/*] Actually, in the absence of a Garand and 1911, I use other guns.

[*]You buy a gun that is a duplicate of one you already have because the original one might break someday.[/*]

[*]You spend three nights up till 2AM in a row trying to get the finish on that stock just right.[/*]

[*]You drive over fifty miles to buy anything gun-related.[/*]

[*]You experience the signs of loss and grief whenever you trade a gun away.[/*] When I sold 3 guns at a gun show the other day, I felt queasy.

[*]You tell your [s]wife[/s] girlfriend that you happened to talk to your friend the gun dealer and she says, "Oh Lord, what did you buy this time?"[/*]
[/list=1]

[list=1]
[*]You buy a gun because you haven't bought one in a while.[/*]

[*]You collect berdan-primed and aluminum casings just in case you find a way to reload them in the future.[/*]

[*]You spend over $5000 building a shop for handloading and working on guns.[/*] If I had $5,000 extra I would.

[*]You have a library filled with back issues of American Rifleman, Handloader, and Gun Report magazines, and you bought a computer to index them on.[/*]

[*]You start feeling uneasy if you have fewer than 500 rounds on hand for your favorite shooter.[/*]

[*]There are odd rifle parts on your night stand, right next to the alarm clock and lens case.[/*]

[*]When you give travel directions to people, using gunshops/ranges as reference points.[/*]

[*]When you measure the passage of seasons by which rifle you're loading for. (Target rifle in spring, hunting rifle in fall, etc.)[/*]

[*]When you always get dirty looks from the UPS man, because every package that he brings to your house is either overly long or very heavy.[/*]

[*]Heel, I was lookin at pnuematic staple guns today and was asking myself things like "magazine capacity", and rate of fire, will you be able to "speed load" with this model??[/*]

[*]You can't watch tennis matches without thinking of shooting because of the score always being 30-30.[/*]

[*]You can't remember the plot of the last movie you saw, but you can name the model, caliber, and finish of every firearm in the movie.[/*]

[*]You reflexively count the number of shots fired by every weapon in the film, then gripe to your friends when the guns exceed the capacities.[/*]

[*]Your friends refuse to see ANY films containing firearms with you.[/*]

[*]You take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.[/*]
[/list=1]

[list=1]
[*]You keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case", and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.[/*]

[*]You actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.[/*] [sex]

[*]You carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to show off your "babies".[/*]

[*]You learn that in the house your buying someone committed suicide using a firearm and all your interested in is the make, model, caliber and condition of the firearm that was used.[/*]

[*]You think there is some special significance when you glance at a digital clock and it shows 3:08, 3:57, 2:23, etc., no matter how many times you see it.[/*]

[*]You purchase a second ( insert Make/model here ) pistol just because it has night sights.[/*]

[*]You suggest your company picnic should be held at the local range instead of the country club.[/*]

[*]You have dog named after a firearm or firearm company.[/*]

[*]You go to the range just to hang out.[/*]

[*]Your lottery picks are all calibers, like 3-5-7-22-38-44[/*]

[*]When 40-22-38 means different calibers to you.[/*]

[*]You take a dolly or hand truck with you to gun shows.[/*]

[*]You buy a gun safe much larger than you think you'll ever need and still fill it up.[/*]

[*]You need a second gun safe.[/*]

[*]You need yet another safe for all of the ammunition.[/*]

[*]You dream house has a double basement so that you can have an indoor range, a walk in gun vault, and still be able to build a rec room in the first basement level so that the TV will have a safe backstop.[/*] I actually designed one with a dozen basements. The lowest half being a bunker/shelter/armory too deep for the ATF to get to.

[*]You remember important family dates based on when you purchased a firearm.[/*]

[*]You give all of your kids, pets and vehicles firearms-related names. Examples: "Savage! Bad Dog! Get out of the flower bed!" "Winchester!Marlin! You boys go tie up the dog again." "Annie Oakley Johnson!
What are you doing on my computer?!" "Where are those cats? Smith!Wesson! Din-din time" "Well, time to fire up the ol' Hawken and mow the lawn."[/*]

[*]You bought 10 pallets of ammo cans to sell at gun shows and kept 9 of them to store your ammo.[/*]

[*]You're cleaning out your car because you're about to sell it, and find a case of .38 Special you bought a year and a half ago and forgot about.[/*]

[*]You not only buy ammo for a gun you don't have, but might get some day, and buy reloading dies for it also.[/*]

[*]You gave your daughter a brick of .22s for Christmas.[/*] I would if I had one.

[*]You have three guns in the same model and caliber.[/*]
[/list=1]

[list=1][*]You read "[s]rec.guns[/s]ar15.com" before your morning coffee.[/*]

[*]You read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!"[/*]

[*]Your gun safe cost more then your dining room set.[/*]

[*]You visit the range more then twice a week.[/*]

[*]When you talk about the best piece you ever had, you mean a pistol.[/*]

[*]You own a bayonet for a gun you haven't bought yet.[/*]

[*]You spend more time choosing which guns to bring with you on a trip, as well as holsters and belts, than it does to pick out the clothes you will wear.[/*]

[*]If friends and family ask what you want for Christmas "Other than gun stuff."[/*]

[*]You've ever photographed your entire gun collection, but "insurance purposes" never entered your mind.[/*]

[*]You buy a .25 Beretta to keep inside your Bible cover, 'cause everybody needs a "hideout church gun".[/*] When, I find a bible that is hollowed for a gun, I'll do that.

[*]Every time one of your friends goes to buy a new gun they check with you first, since you've probably had one already, and because they know
you have ammo and gun parts sitting around for guns you no longer own :)[/*]

[*]If the Bible you read every night before bed has gun specifications and pricing (i.e. Shooter's Bible).[/*]

[*]You buy a used holster at a show for $5.00, and then spend a few hundred on a gun that fits it..[/*]

[*]follow up: I always get a kick out of the newspaper articles that say " several guns were seized, along with 500 rounds of ammo". They must have been cheap or something.[/*]

[*]You have spent more on guns in the last 6 months than you did on your [s]wife's engagement ring.[/s] girlfriend.[/*]

[*]You go the shooting range on Monday night during football season.[/*]

[*]And you're definitely a gun nut if you read this all the way to the
end.[/*]
[/list=1]

another one I just thought of:

you would rather get a hangun when you turn 21 instead of a beer

80) That whenever you get a new handgun/rifle, you automatically buy your girlfriend/wife something so she doesn't get mad at you.

Anyone else having trouble getting to the link?  I am dying to see the entire list, but can't get to the link.

How about...


... if you think the ATF is always after you.

I just thought of a few:

1) When your girlfriend leaves you becuase you "scare her" becuase you have so many guns.

2) When given the untimatem "It's me or the guns," you choose your guns over your girlfriend.

3) Your girlfriend gets pissed, becuase you spend more on guns than her, but when you offer to let her use your guns she won't touch them, becuase they "scare her."

4) When you spend your last dollars on a new gun, and your girlfriend gets pissed becuase she was "trying to get you to notice a buy that expensive piece of jewelry she wanted," but somehow never came out and said she wanted.