With fresh martyrs arriving daily from carpet bombing, I am just curious about Heaven's supply of virgins.  Would the supply be sufficient to provide 40 to each martyr as promised by Sheik Omar?  It would seem to me that this is a non-renewable resource, as virgins are an one-time use item.  What does the Koran say?[>:/].

I thought they just relined them by shoving a ham in their coochie then pulling the bone out.

Shazaam, fresh virgin. [:D]

Well I don't question there's plenty of virgins in Heaven, but I do question the quality of said virgins.  I mean... is there some sort of lifetime-back guarantee or return policy if Heaven's virgins are of a substandard quality or defective?  I'm sure there's an implied warranty of virginity, but I know of no warranties (express or implied) you'll get a pretty virgin.  What if you get up there and the only virgins left are fat Rosie O'Donnell fans?  (eeewwww....sends chills down my spine just thinking about that)  Then what do you do; sue Allah?

("Today on Judge Judy - This man says he was promised virgins by Allah and only got ugly virgin goats.  Allah says he never promised [i]pretty[/i] virgins....")

40 virgins...70 virgins...98 virgins... a dozen virgins... if you die killing Americans.

Lewd, disgraceful bullshit. For people who keep their women cooped up in bags and profess so much respect for the gentler sex... (shaking head and frowning)

Doesn't even seem to be consistent, let alone respectable.

I think it is part of reincarnation.

Of course what is actually happening is that the terrorists are ending up in hell, where THEY are the virgins.....

From The Onion:

JAHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell.

"I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?"

The rest of Atta's words turned to raw-throated shrieks, as a tusked, asp-tongued demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face.

According to Hell sources, the 19 eternally damned terrorists have struggled to understand why they have been subjected to soul-withering, infernal torture ever since their Sept. 11 arrival.

"There was a tumultuous conflagration of burning steel and fuel at our gates, and from it stepped forth these hijackers, the blessed name of the Lord already turning to molten brass on their accursed lips," said Iblis The Thrice-Damned, the cacodemon charged with conscripting new arrivals into the ranks of the forgotten. "Indeed, I do not know what they were expecting, but they certainly didn't seem prepared to be skewered from eye socket to bunghole and then placed on a spit so that their flesh could be roasted by the searing gale of flatus which issues forth from the haunches of Asmoday."

"Which is strange when you consider the evil with which they ended their lives and those of so many others," added Iblis, absentmindedly twisting the limbs of hijacker Abdul Aziz Alomari into unspeakably obscene shapes.

"I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion, and that Heaven would be my reward for my noble sacrifice," said Alomari, moments before his jaw was sheared away by faceless homunculi. "But now I am forced to suckle from the 16 poisoned leathern teats of Gophahmet, Whore of Betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile. This must be some sort of terrible mistake."

Exacerbating the terrorists' tortures, which include being hollowed out and used as prophylactics by thorn-cocked Gulbuth The Rampant, is the fact that they will be forced to endure such suffering in sight of the Paradise they were expecting.

"It might actually be the most painful thing we can do, to show these murderers the untold pleasures that would have awaited them in Paradise, if only they had lived pious lives," said Praxitas, Duke of Those Willingly Led Astray. "I mean, it's tough enough being forced through a wire screen by the callused palms of Halcorym and then having your entrails wound onto a stick and fed to the toothless, foul-breathed swine of Gehenna. But to endure that while watching the righteous drink from a river of wine? That can't be fun."

Underworld officials said they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

"Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."