The following is a bit of whimsey from the JewishWorldReview -
[size=4]Osama and the Genie[/size=4]
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com -- CNN was offered the chance to pose six questions to bin Laden. It would have the news value of asking Hitler for a Yom Kippur message - but heck, why not. Let the Evil One dig his grave a bit deeper. The trick, of course, is to formulate the questions correctly, and here's where we need to heed the legends of the genie. He would grant any wish, but find a twist that turned it against you. Should you ask for riches beyond compare, you shall have them - but you will be locked in a cave for all eternity! If you want a thousand willing concubines, you shall have them -but each comes with a list of household chores, and it shall be Sunday afternoon for all eternity! And so forth. In this genie-confounding spirit, then, six carefully calibrated questions for bin Laden. Roll tape:
[b]1.[/b] Adbusters, that pesky syndicate of snarky anticonsumerism, have called for Americans to buy nothing the day after Thanksgiving. Nevermind the impact on low-income people who rely on service and retail sector jobs. Adbusters believe that we would not only be better off by giving loved ones bags of acorns and artfully arranged bundles of old newspapers - and not just because it would counter the horrid tide of materialism. Said their executive director, "American overconsumption is part of the problem why the Islamic word hates us so much."
[b][i]Question to bin Laden[/i][/b]: if Americans had purchased 17% fewer TVs, confined our sweater purchases solely to replentishing the one that unravelled, bought eau de toilette instead of perfume, and just stopped the whole DVD revolution cold now, would you have just destroyed one tower and left it at that?
[b]2.[/b] Your view of the world holds women as subhuman vessels of filth and sin. You put them in sacks behind painted windows, stone them for adultery, and beat them if they whistle. Your reasons, of course, are well stated; you condemn them to fear, ignorance, and isolation punctuated by rape because you respect them. One might suggest that your millions had been better spent purchasing therapy sessions for you and your gynophobic associatates; one might speculate that you guys marry so many times because you're convinced you'll find one who has teeth down there, proving your worst suspicions. [b][i]But here's our question[/i][/b]: if your mother was taken to your sports stadium in Kabul and executed for having her ankles bared, would you lead the cheers or just nod your head in approval?
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