I have tried to base my married life on the reward system...when everything I need to do for the family is done, and they retire off to their solitary pursuits, then it's my time to get tunnel visioned, and do what *I* want to do.
I reward myself.
I take my cue from them, for instance, if hubby wants to watch sci-fi, (which I hate), thats my time to go online. He heads to the basement to his reloading bench, and I know he wants time alone. If he is out in the garage, hey, this is a perfect time to play Beethoven and Wagner really loud and sing and dance.
For the Pursuit of Toys.....this gets a bit trickier.
We both love guns and related accessories, so we simply alternate whose turn it is to buy the next one, as our tastes are a bit different from each other.
We did have to learn to do things together also.
I learned to appreciate his street rods, by helping, and even learning to weld a bit, sewing a velvet interior for his '55 Chev, stuff like that. My flea market skills were invaluable at the parts meets. And he and I built my '41 Pickup together. He accompanies me to the militaria shows, and actually helps me find and purchase little goodies I want for my collection, flags, badges, daggers, and such.
After 30 years, we have a pretty good sense of when to help, and when to leave each other alone.
The house is also big enough, that we can either choose to be together, or hide out from each other too.
It's a fine line of compromise, and when you feel you have given in way too often, then you have given in just almost enough. But both partners have to be on the same rulebook, for sure.