Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a dump
on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise
up into unsuspecting American's toliet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.
I usually don't send bulletins like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys
talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. So it must be true.
For you tinfoil hat wearers.