The Military said: "We need more money to maintain military readiness and
Combat Training." America Answered : "What the Military needs is
Sensitivity
Training! You're all sexist homophobes! I saw it on 60 Minutes!"
The Military said: "We need money to build ships, planes, tanks, and
improve
our technology. America still has credible threats throughout the world.
Terrorism will come to America's doorstep." America Answered: "You're all
part of a vast right-wing conspiracy. There is no more Soviet Threat! My
Senator told me so! He/She says we do not need such a big military! You're
dinosaurs trying to hold onto the Cold War! We need Social Programs!"
The Military said: "We need to recruit more Americans into the military. We
need to increase our force." America Answered: "You're not taking my kids!
We're going to shut down the ROTC programs at our high schools and
universities, because you discriminate against alternative lifestyles! ROTC
teaches CHILDREN (under 21) how to shoot guns! You just want another
Columbine! Rosie and Oprah say so!"
The Military said: "We can't keep interfering in the civil wars of small
insignificant countries. It wastes our time, expends our resources,
decreases training, and demoralizes our troops. The men and women of the
United States are Warriors trying to defend OUR nation, we are not the
third
world's police force." America Answered: "You heartless bastards! Can't you
see the tear in the eye of that starving child!?! There are flies on her
face for Christ's Sake! Get Moving! Jesse Jackson on CNN said that is what
we pay you for!"
The Military Asked: "Why isn't America enraged over the terrorist attack on
the USS COLE that killed seventeen AMERICAN Sailors? How about the Air
Force
barracks bombed in Saudi Arabia? The embassy staffs in Africa? The Soldiers
mutilated and dragged through the streets in Somalia?" America Answered:
"We
don't have time right now! We're busy defending Animal Rights! Our schools
are handing out automatic weapons! The federal government is discriminating
against cross-dressing Bolivian hermaphrodites! The police are all members
of the Ku Klux Klan! The lack of Ozone is ruining my tan! If they cut
deeper
into Food Stamps those poor women will have to move down to Size 18/20
dresses! AND THE WORST! Corporations are raising the prices of their
products sooo high I might not be able to afford the multi-disc DVD Player
for my 36'" digital-ready TV! Besides, YOU GUYS ARE PAID TO DIE!
So, America, while you sit on your couch or around your office coffee pots
and ask, "Why did those terrorists kill innocent civilians? Why didn't they
go after the Military?" remember this, America: They already had, but
America didn't care. These Terrorists realized that they needed to kill
American Civilians, and lots of them, before they could have their desired
reaction from the people of this country. Well, now they have it.