"My Dear Fellow American:

We have been informed that you hold shares in the following companies:

American Can Co
Interstate Water Co.
National Gas Co.
Northern Tissue Co.

Stock Market Advice:

Due to the uncertain market conditions, at this present time, we advise you
to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas.

You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom
today, and millions were wiped clean.

Yours truly,
Alan Greenspan"


yeah i know its kinda immature but i got a mild chuckle out of it