Udderly Smooth Udder Cream

Redex Industries Inc. Salem Ohio 44460

1-800-345-7339

www.uddercream.com

Warning: Do not use on parts of affected with Cow Pox, as such use may contribute to the spread of the infection. Thoroughly wash treated udder and teats with clean water and soap before each milking to avoid contamination of milk. Use clean individual towels for the this purpose.

Directions for use: Caution wash udder and teat parts (parts?[thinking])thoroughly with clean water and soap before each milking to avoid contamination of milk. Use clean individual towel for this purpose. Apply to the udder after each milking (moooooo....), massaging into skin (mooooooo.....). For teat cracks [shock]apply in sufficient quantity to fill in crack and cover surrounding area. Apply uniformaly to chafed area and bruises to maintain  skin suppleness. For aid in softening swollen  udders (MOOOO...) following calving, apply liberally twice daily with gentle massage (moooooooooooooooo...)

May be used for chapped or chafed skin. Do not use in or near eyes.

A coworker had a jar of this stuff at work. I found it to be udderly brassier! I did call the 1-800 number and eventually some young women answered. I decided to have a little fun with her. First I said I had heard of the product and would like to know where I could purchase it. She gave me a lot of places like Walmart and Target. I then asked her how it works on goats and she started to laugh. I said well if its good enough for cows I'm sure its good enough for goats. I was just about to ask her if it was good for cat teats that just had a litter of cats.

Have fun calling the 1-800 number and pulling there, well teats.

No Slack!

I remember they were talking about this stuff on a survival forum. If you have chonically dry and chapped skin it supposedly works better than any moisturizer out there.

I wonder how it works as a lube for masturbating.

Super Smooth Spooge Booster...

I find this discussion revolting and demand that this thread be locked!

We have something up in the New England area called Bag Balm.  Its a square green can with the picture of an utter on it.
Everybody uses it for chapped dry sdkin on themselves it, screw the cows.  Its basically a thicker, medicated vasaline. I think.  that's what it looks like...


BISHOP

I just saw that stuff on the counter at Ace Hardware. Just in case anyone cares.

Astroglide, dude.

Bag Balm is to chapped hands what Slick 50 is to engines.

I used to commute to work 64 miles each way on my bike (motorcycle) from MoVal to Irvine, CA.  The route I took was HWY74 which went over  Ortega mountain, and at 5:30 in the morning it would get pretty damn cold.  No, it aint Minnesota cold, but when you don't wear gloves (seams would split after about a month), it gets damn cold.

Only problem is that Bag Balm is like having axle grease on your hands and is a real bitch to work in/clean off.

I tried some yesterday, I was surprised to hear that many of the women at work use it,,it did not feel like vaseline,,unbelieveable,,