I was just thinking about some of the nonsense I've heard in gun shops over the years.  Some of it is pretty amusing.  I recall some guy trying to convince someone that the 5.56mm round is so lethal because the bullet is molten when it leaves the barrel.  Something about how it splatters upon impact like a glaser.  How about the guy that thinks a .308 in an M1A is more powerful than a .308 from a bolt action because the M1A is "gas powered".  For entertainment sake, please share some winners you've heard.

"Yeah, these little Hellfires work great, I've got 'em on all my guns. That'll be 29.99$"

What, you didn't know you can run N2O through the gas port to hot rod your M1A? Where the hell have you been?

I went t oa gunshow  in Jacksonville NC and a guy had a pre ban upper on a post ban lower. I didn't know the lower was post ban, and was talking to the guy about doing a trade. He asked me what I had in mind, and I told him a post ban and a PT-111, got the guns to show him, and THEN he said he couldn't do the trade, because the lower was post ban. Thank God he fessed up.

[smoke]

A guy I do business with but is not gun savy at all bought some 300 Win Mag rounds from a guy at a gun show because the seller assured him they would work in his rifle (and the seller did not have what my friend was looking for). The problem, my friends rifle uses 300 Weatherby Magnum rounds!

And yes he shot them and the rifle is now at a gunsmith for a thorough inspection for damage.

St. Pete gunshow when I was first looking for an AR.

One postban I was checking out was fitted up pretty nice with some extra goodies, but it was still a little pricey and I really wanted a pre-ban. So I start talking to the guy and he mentions that the flash suppressor thing is really BS, I just nod and agree with him but he continues..
him: "yeah...even if they work and someone can't see the flash it doesn't really matter because of all the targeting systems."

me:"I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean??"

him: "yeah, you know the targeting systems they have mounted on all the buildings around here."

me:"what's this???"

him:"yeah, the government mounts a tracking and targeting system on the corners of all the tall buildings around here. If a shot's fired anywhere in the area they can tell exactly where it's coming from and the autocannon that it's linked to can return fire. So that's why a flash suppressor doesn't really do a damned thing."

me:"wow, I never knew."

him:"yeah, haven't you seen all those square boxes on the corner of the buildings around here?"

me:"I thought those were just surveillance cameras."

him:"that's what they want you think, that's why it's so secret."

me[putting the rifle down and backing away]:"yeah...I uh...think I need to go find my wife. I'll get back to you on the rifle."

I brought my Sig Trailside back to the shop because it wasn't locking open on the last shot and there was some bubbling and flaking off of the finish under the slide.  Kid behind the counter says he has two of them and neither of his locks back and that they weren't designed to.  I say that would be a bad flaw in a pistol where dry firing is harmful and point out in the instruction booklet where it says it is designed to lock back.

Then, I ask him to check out the corrosion.  He turns to the guy next to him and asks how to take down the slide off.  You think with owning two he would know.  Moron.

"the gun laws are stupid because it bans sales of new US made AR15 magazines but it allows importation and sales of new Canadian made AR15 magazines."

When we protested the young gangsters rejected us outright and insisted they themselves were in business selling these "legal" new manufacture Canadian magazines, knew more than us, but had no booth.

Watch out for new "legal preban" magazines from Canada, eh ya hoser?

Me " How much are those Mini 14 Mags?

Seller "These magazines are rare thats why they cost so much"

Me "I have some magazines to trade"

Seller "Those were made by the thousands and are not worth very much.

He did not bother to notice they were the exact same factory 30 round Mini 14 magazines.

I wish they would make a pump AR15 because the reguler ones are gas powered and I hate changing the CO2 cartradges in the five I have at home.

"Sure you can cut off that Thumbhole portion off this MAK 90.
It's a Pre-ban"

and "Sure you can install a Box Type magazine on that SKS rifle,
It only takes a couple tools. But I cant do it for you cause I'm not a Gunsmith".

About five years ago I was shopping for a .40, and asked a dealer about a Sig. He replied that Sig wasn't making .40s anymore, because they didn't want the ".40 S&W" on their guns. But, oh by the way, I have one here in .357Sig

"The Makarov shoots regular old 9mm ammo."

"You shoot them in the arm and the bullet will come out their foot!"  (talking about .223)

"Just shoot some FMJ after you shoot the lead ammo and it will clean out the barrel."

"Back when I was in the Seals......"  

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that got conned into buying a Hellfire/Hellstorm. [:D]

"This 50 cal kicks just like a 12 gauge shotgun"

"When I was in Nam, we used to take the enemy rifles, take out a cartridge, and fill it up with C4.  We would then put the rifles back.  When the VC would shoot them, it would blow the bolt through their skull.  It was psychological warfare."

"A .410 shotgun is a good shotgun"

"This gun is the most reliable gun I ever had.  I never had a problem with it" -Referring to a 300 win mag that had the repair slip still attached to it from the gun smith, with a bill of over $216 for repairs

"My backpack caught on fire at the airport ~Whine~ ~Boo hoo~ ~Sob~  I'll tell the story when hell freezes over" -TREETOP

You can use this 24" AR upper in Service Match Rifle competition becase it is a factory upper and is therefore OK by the rules.

"Yer Colt AR-15 ain't worth that much, because - see here - that "CMP" stamped on the barrel means "Chinese Military Part".

OR

"That H&R M1 Garand is genuine WWII vintage!"

OR

"Hell, I don't know why they don't outlaw them AR-15's.  They ain't good for anything except killing."  {Spoken as the fine gentleman was examining a new Remington semi-auto deer rifle.}  So I say "Gee, how does that Remington differ from an AR?"  {Our hero then looks confused.} [BD]

Heard this from a very respectable gunsmith in my hometown:

"You can't put a scope on an AK-47, it would be so loose that the whole thing would just pop right off after a couple of shots!"

I guess that explains why the Dragunov was so terribly innaccurate... (note sarcasm)

"Do you have any 7.62 ammo?"

The sporting good's store clerk, acting uninterested and cocky, reaches down and pulls out some boxes of ammo.

The boxes aren't labeled as being non-corrosive.  I ask "Do you know if this stuff is non-corrosive?"

Acting like I'm wasting his time, he takes the box from my hands, opens it up, pulls a round and looks at the casing and says

"See.  These are non-corrosive.  They have a finish on the casing that prevents corrosion."

I try to keep a straight face.  I look at his other buddy behind the counter further down listening and he is shaking his head.

Dealer: "Oh, that used AR is super nice, a good friend of mine had to trade it in because of a medical condition. He takes great care of his guns"

ME: "Cool, lets call him, I'd like to ask him about it"

"Uh, errr, doh..."

"I had a Mattell M-16 in 'Nam"

Ranger Out

"I have a glock. Ya know the all plastic kind light and accurate no metal in that baby"




This is a special rifle very few made and a collectors piece. A bushmaster 16 with all the goodies...oh yeah and the special addition stamping of "for military and Law Enforcement Only" on the recever

In your best Dr. Evil voice, "Right" [;D]

Looking at a stack (I mean stack..about 100) of NIW AR Mags marked LE/Mil only at a gun show for $18.

Asked the guy: how can you sell these to NON-LE/ NON MIL / NON FFL holding?

He replied: Easy, they give me $18, and I give them the mag.

I replied: Okay, no problem I will just order some through my department at about 1/2 that cost.

He replied: umm! (turned around and avoided me)

I had a good laugh over it...heck it didn't bother me that he was selling them.

Same gun show..

Guy has Romanian SKS on table about 85% condition.

I ask how much?
He replies with "$275 because the Romanian SKS are hard to get with the blade bayonet."

I just shake my head and say...oh, I see and walk away.

medcop

The WINNER!![:D]

I've haven't met a 'Seal' in a shop yet, but here's the best one I've experienced:

Shopowner "Whaddaya mean you need to order higher rings, you're holding the rifle wrong son, here"

(Hands me a rifle off the rack without checking it)

Shopowner "Now, hold the rifle and aim it right at my nose so I can tell you what you are doing wrong"

I had to decline _three_ times before he gave up on that and stormed into the back.

There is nothing like the sound of my hammer being cocked on my black glock.

Monel- The thing about placing "salted" rounds is accurate according to unclassified MACVSOG information.  The project was called Eldest Son and consisted of sabotaged AK47 as well as mortar ammunition.  It was followed by pisen pen letters and other forged documents saying the Chinese were haveing some quality control problems and that future shipments would be rectified.  The devious part of this was that the supply line was long and the ammo that the NVA was using in Cambodia and Laos was years old!

That was supposed to say poison pen letters.

"Little old lady used to own this AR15..never drove it over 3000 fps..."

At a gun show last weekend - Dealer had a table full of those Canadian $10.00 gas mask and filter sets that he now sells for $40.00 assuring everyone who would listen that they are in PERFECT working condition, the filters are NEW production and that the whole set-up is guaranteed for twenty years by the manufacturer. Just for fun I asked him the name and address of the "manufacturer" in case I had a problem. He told me "Canada". Oh yeah, the filters must of been "new" production because they came in a Ziplock sandwich bag. I guess if you REALLY needed them they would be guaranteed to last the rest of your life! (all ten convulsing, vomiting minutes of it.)

This here Chinese SKS can get a 3 round group the size of dime at 300 yards, it's got a match barrel on it....

Pissen pen letters?............The "war relic" guy with the rusty antiques, selling the old crap mauser for $250....."Hey buddy, I think the guy on the other side of the room has the same rifle for $85"....."oh no, that`s those aftermarket copies, there are thousands of them around.....THIS one is a GENUINE war weary military rifle".....same guy with all the rusted-up ww1 bayonets for $99 each......[rolleyes]

Last Gunshow in B'ham, guy has a CIA P.O.Stban with an M4 Collapsible stock on it. When I asked him how this was possible, legally, he said " That's not a Collapsible stock, that there's an ADJUSTABLE stock, and therefore legal on a post ban". Just shook my head and walked off...

Overheard a vendor telling a group of cops that they had better buy these preban full capacity mags for their Glocks ($99 each) because if they are caught out at the range off duty with their LEO mags, ATF will definitely arrest them.

"these are the best mags avalible" and its a USA brand  mag!

Saw a guy looking for a new upper, and the dealer was trying to sell him a no-name with a 11" barrel with short flash hider.

Buyer was asking if it would fit his Rock River lower, (post ban of course) and the dealer told him, "Yep, this is all you need"

Failed to mention he would be breaking the 1994 crime bill and that this would make it a short barrelled rifle....

I just shook my head...

At Southwest Shooters Supply in Oklahoma City a few years back:

Customer at counter: "I've got a Smith & Wesson 1917 that I'm putting together and I'm needing a barrel. Could any of you guys tell me where I could order one?"

Cashier: "Nope. That's illegal."

Customer: "HUH? I just need to order a barrel so that I can finish assembling this gun."

Cashier: "It's illegal for you to purchase gun parts if you're not a dealer."

Customer: "I'm not talking about an entire gun or receiver. I just want to buy a barrel."

Me: "Just get a catalog for GPC or start shopping the Gun List."

Cashier: "You can't get a catalog from GPC unless you're a dealer."

Me: "Yes you can. They're only five dollars or so. Has all kinds of stuff in it."

Customer: "Hey thanks, man. I think that's what I'll do."

Customer leaves.

Cashier: "Don't tell people that! That's illegal and we'll get sued!"

Me: "Since when has it been a crime to purchase non-serialed gun parts?"

Conversation ends.

Same gun shop around the same timeframe:

Customer says to me: "Will these three-fifty-seven bullets work in a thirty-eight special?"

We're in the section of the store that has reloading components and he's holding a 100-count box of Hornady 158 grain JHPs. It's pretty damned plainly marked, too.

Me: "Well sure. They use the same bullet diameter."

BTW, I do NOT work there, I WAS a customer, too.

Customer: "Well I thought the three-fifty-seven used bigger bullets than a thirty-eight."

Me: "No. The thirty-eight special and three-fifty-seven magnum use the same diameter of bullets. See, the box lists '.38 CAL. .357 HP/XTP'."

Customer: "Well three-fifty-seven bullets are supposed to be bigger than thirty-eights."

Me: "Nooooooooo, they have the SAME bullet diameter."

Customer: "Well, will this ammo be safe to shoot in my thirty-eight?"

Me: "That's not ammo. Those are component bullets to load your own."

Customer: "Well, it says thirty-eight and three-fifty-seven on this shelf. Isn't that supposed to be ammo?"

Me: "No, man. All of this stuff here is for reloading and making your own ammunition. They keep their loaded ammunition up at the counter."

Customer: "Oh."

Customer goes to counter and accosts the same really intelligent cashier from the previous episode.

Customer: "Yeah, you're supposed to have some bullets for me."

Cashier: "Excuse me?"

Customer: "Yeah, I need some bullets for my gun and you're supposed to have 'em."

Cashier: "I'm supposed to have them?"

Customer: "Yeah. That guy over there says you're supposed to have them." (pointing at me)

Exchanges like this generally make me anti-social.

"I had a pistol that was worked. You should have felt the cylinder slide lock-up on it".

"That .44 mag couldn't have killed that buck. They don't have enough power. You probably shot that deer last night with your rifle before the season opened today".

on the range  "That AR isn't as accurate as my AK or even my SKS here".
   "Would you like to put some money on it?", I asked.
"Err, can't. I'm have to get home".

We saw a rifle at a show in Houston, TX with "evil" features that had signs that read "Eagle Arms Preban $1,500.00"  that read E.A. Co. Krotz Springs, LA which actually stands for Essential Arms.

Another dealer when asked about his "Eagle Arms Preban" he responds "E.A. that's Eagle Arms" and "Hell, any idiot ought to know it's a preban it has a bayonet lug on it!"

I'm not saying that E.A. Lowers are not worth anything just not worth the same as a verifiable complete Eagle Arms Preban.  I must give the guys that go to the Dallas Gun Collectors Show at Market Hall credit though.  I did see one true "Eagle Arms Preban" with a verification letter from Armalite for $1500.00.
Same price as the unverifiable parts gun in Houston.

At the gun show last weekend, I spotted a hk p7m10 that would be a great mate to my p7m8, ask the guy how much, he says "$1400 because it's a blued model and they only made a few" this thing looked like it was drug behind a truck!! I kind of laughed at the dealer and shrugged it off while turning to my wife and saying I wish HK would have mass produced the p7 in .45 instead of the 6 prototypes HK built. The dealer overhead this and piped up "I have one of those at home in my safe, yes siree" At that point I had to walk away or risk smacking this mental midget upside the head with his overpriced collection.

a month ago I asked the guy behind the gun counter at walmart if he had any .357 sig ammo. he returns with .357 magnum ammo, I say "no, .357 sig" . A few minutes later he asked "what does the sig stand for"  DOH!!

idaho-ar15

"Kimber makes the best 1911 around...it's what all the serious operators use."

At EVERY gun show I run into a different vendor that tells me "I was a sniper in the Marines in 'Nam."  Yeah right, like all of you Vietnam Marine Snipers live in Houston now.  I suppose you personally held Carlos Hatchcock's hand when he first arrived too.

At a local sporting goods store the young (19?) redneck gun counter guy was helping me:
HIM:  What brand of ammo you want
ME:  Whatever .38/.357 ammo is cheapest, except for CCI Blazer crap.
HIM:  I hear ya, that stuff will scratch your gun.
ME:  What do you mean?
HIM:  The ammo is crap.
ME:  I agree, but why will it scratch my gun?
HIM:  The casings are made out of cheap metal instead of brass.
ME:  That's true, but why would it "scratch" my gun?
HIM:  Because that cheap stuff will scratch it sure enough when you fire it.
ME:  How can a casing in a revolver scratch the revolver?  It wouldn't even do it in an automatic.
HIM:  OH YES IT WILL (getting huffy).  My Uncle is a Police Officer who shoots 100 rounds a week and he says that stuff will scratch your gun!  Are you saying he doesn't know what he's talking about.
(the sound of my footsteps fading off toward the Exit door)

It is. I have one myself, and like it. I say if anyone tries to question it's preban status, due to the fact that they only sold lowers, then let the ATF try and prove it was never assembled as an AW before the ban.

"Uh, yeah, that lower was owned by us, the ATF, since 1993, in stripped condition. It was chained through the buffer tube hole and magazine well to the wrist of this agent ever since it was purchased, until now in '99 when we sold it. Therefore, since it was never out of our sight, it's an illegal config.

Yeah, right.

Not to hijack the topic, but it gets my dander up when Gunshow people claim that Colts are the ONLY verifiable prebans, "cause Colt only makes complete rifles." Yeah, well, other people made them before '94 too! DUH!

Juggernaut

As deer season gets closer here in Michigan I almost like to hang around the gun counter just to hear the pitch to sell rifles. Probably the one I hear most, and usually is referring to the Rem. 7mm Mag. is "sight this baby dead on at 100 yds. and out to (somewhere usually around the 750 to 1000 yard mark) just hold right on because this baby only drops about this far" at which point he is holding his thumb and forefinger about 1 to 2 inches apart to indicate the bullet drop. I made the mistake one time of putting my .02 in and said if you hit that deer it was on about the third bounce. Well, I am sure many of you here have been told how little you know about rifles by a guy just like this.  I have to imagine the Ultra mag stories are going to be incredible this fall.
Tuco

"I'll have to re-sight that gun in for me 'cause the scope is only sighted-in for YOUR eyes."

Really.

Jay

Excuse my supreme ignorance, but exactly WHAT does this mean?

Jay

I have not and will not argue over whether the E.A. in either of your possessions are preban.  However I would not pay $1500 of my hard earned dollars for a parts gun built on an E.A. lower when I can purchase verifiable Colts, Bushmasters and Armalite(Eagle Arms) for the same if not less.  My verifiable Colt was purchased at local pawn shop for less than $1,000 and looks almost unfired and yes, I verified the serial number before purchase.  That is the advantage of buying during the week.

MY POINT WAS THESE A****** IDIOT GUN DEALERS WERE SAYING THAT THEY WERE EAGLE ARMS.  WHEN IN FACT THEY WERE PARTS GUNS AND THAT IF THEY HAVE A BAYONET LUG THAT MUST MEAN THEY ARE PREBAN.

The way the law is written I won't chance it.  It would be my butt going to prison and or losing my rifle because it looks to me like the burden of proof is on the defendent, just like it is when you claim self defense.