Background:
- We have had a mass(15+) of transients move in the field less than 2 miles from the house.

- Transients have been pushed by local PD out of previous home

-Friend is local PD command and told me of crimes that some had been picked up on

- we are the only houses around

- Not rural living but not in the heart of town either (outskirts as much as you can in So. Ca.)

- Crime has gone UP dramatically in last few weeks. (since the move in)

- PD working on it but resources limited after last sweep so another week or two is needed.

Event:

03:17 Wife wakes me says "someone in garage" I hear banging and items fall (garage is under master bedroom!

03:18 I grab h&k .40 and mossberg 500 12 ga. Loaded with #4 Buckshot, then 00 Buckshot, then Slug and repeat! (my alarm system)

03:19 sweeping up stairs room by room ensuring kids IN    their beds!

03:21 Still hear noise in garage, Place wife at top of stairs with remington 870 with 00 buck and instructions to fire if anyone comes up! I will announce when I am coming!

03:22 call 911 hand wife phone(with instructions)

03:22 Go downstairs.....

03:?? reach garage door

Hear rustling Walk back to wife and announce quietly.... Tell her to tell 911 I am armed, in underwear and give description

open door.....

Yell get the F$@K down and repeat....

See three masks and 6 eyes in light...

Box drops from side and another mask appears....

Now 4 Vs. me!

2 advance I yell stop or I will kill you! (repeat)

Wife is gathering kids into room and yelling what is going on PD on way......


Mask #1 gets to close for comfort so I put him down...No shots....2x4 to head

Mask #2 begins advance and I alert them I WILL KILL YOU!

Blood squirting on wall other 3 run back out and head down the street...

Now I have 1 bloody, twitching masked invader in my garage.....

PD rolls up, 5 units including my friend who responded when he heard address

They surround #1

And then the fun started......
At least I will have a new raccoon hat now!he

ETA...for spelling police!

Sounds like you did a hell of a job to me!

Sure to be a classic!

Why would you post this ?

I knew it was going to be a racoon.  

Quoted: Why would you post this ?

Yeah... without pics, actual use of a gun, or your dog getting shot by the responding PD, it's hardly ARFCOM GD material...
Hope the PD didn't mind coming out to watch you clean up!

Good one.

This is the second time i've been led on.

Quoted: I knew it was going to be a racoon.

Its always freaking raccoons, i swear to god noone can get real illegal immigrants to break into there homes anymore.

what is this country coming to?!!!

L-A-M-E

good one!

don't worry about the guys that disagree w/ you...they're just pissed they got lead on

So where are the pics?


CJ

Quoted: This is the second time i've been led on.

Would you say he's a cock-tease?

Great practice for the whole fam !!!


Good AAR .

Its always freaking raccoons, i swear to god noone can get real illegal immigrants to break into there homes anymore.

what is this country coming to?!!!


Only breaking into houses illegal immigrants won't break into.

ps i suck at quote too.....

ghey.

LOL! That was awesome! You had me dead to rights! Good job! Although I kinda was hoping for another scumbag to exit the land of the decent.
I had a room mate years ago that Rodney-Kinged an Opposum in his sock drawer with a nightstick. Blood literally everywhere.

Quoted: I knew it was going to be a racoon.

Yeah thats what I figured as well...

I live in the woods with a creek running  through it.

For twenty years I'll be damned if I can get a raccoon
to bother me once.

All I got out of the deal is a feral cat named "chicken bone" because
of me throwing left over bones from when I smoke wings.

Theoretically I should have raccoons coming out of my ass.

GM

Sorry, you didn't post while it was going on. -1 for you.

Goodmedicine, I can just see your last comment as a sig line. Well, maybe not. I live by a lake, lots of coons here but they never caused problems.

It's a good thing you had the presense of mind to tell your wife to describe what you were wearing and carrying to the PD. This could have been a real tragedy.

Enjoy your new cap.

Quoted: I knew it was going to be a racoon.

+1.

Quoted: Hear rustling Walk back to wife and announce quietly.... Tell her to tell 911 I am armed, in underwear and give description

For some reason that made me LOL a bit.

Quoted: I live in the woods with a creek running  through it. For twenty years I'll be damned if I can get a raccoon to bother me once. All I got out of the deal is a feral cat named "chicken bone" because of me throwing left over bones from when I smoke wings. Theoretically I should have raccoons coming out of my ass. GM

ROFL... Better than original post!    hahaha... "chicken bone"!!!

I found that rather entertaining.

Post this on a PETA site! They'll love it!

so did you really leave an animal dying in pain like a sick fuck or did you put it out of it's misery. since you'd hurt it like that in the first place (might as well kill it from the start), 10 bucks says you jacked off to the thing while it was dying. i'm not against hunting or anything like that, but there's no excuse to leave an animal in pain.

he
Note to self:
-next time dont call PD post on arfcom and wait for response and help!!!

No...responding officers not mad. Matter of fact we stood around for another 30 minutes talking about what positions I would put a few of their kids at in the next game or next seasons....


Maybe I should send it to PETA...here
racoons are mean little boogers He is lucky I didnt shoot his ass but I did not want to mess up new drywall in garage....Blood is easier to cover than a hole.....

Oh and if you think I am cocktease....WELL its your fault for allowing a MAN to tease you!!!!