Rec'd by email today...thought I'd share.

"Good evening my fellow Americans.

First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people
of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this
tragic time.

You can rest assured that anything and everything that
can be done to assure the safety of our country will
be done. This is the greatest country in the world and
we will get through this trying time. Now is the time
for all people to set aside our petty differences and
show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the
fortitude of the American people.

To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say
this: Are you fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on
your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long
without a bath? Do you not know who you are fucking
with?

Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each
other every day. We will relish that opportunity for
new targets for our aggression.

Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last
people that started fucking around with us? Remember
the little yellow bastards over in Japan? We slapped
them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million
of them in their own back yard. That's what we in
America call a big ass barbecue.

Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big?
Because we wanted it that way, Mexico started jacking
around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns.
England? We sent them packing.

Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole
USA. The only reason he got away the first time is
because it's too hard to shoot someone when you're
doubled over laughing at them.

Our soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the
same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts
from taking over his shitty little country.

Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter
box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not
a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that's
going to keep your came! l riding asses safe. We will
bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his
camps and any place that looks and even smells like
he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on
people that have pissed us off in the past.

This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go
ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and
we will smoke your sorry asses.

God bless America!
"

ROFLMAO!!
I almost peed my pants.

Nice, had to read it with a Texas twang for full effect.  
Good point too.  We are the biggest, not because we are the nicest.  We are the Baddest, always have been.

Man, I just about fell out of my chair too!


BoR is right.  It takes Bush's Texas twang to perfect it.

We have a winner!!!

That is definitely in the top ten list of funniest things I have ever read on this board!!

[:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)]

sgtar15

My favorite part was "Why is Texas so big?!?!  BECAUSE WE WANTED IT THAT WAY...now they are cutting our lawns."

I about died laughing.

As the UT chant says, "Texas Fight, Texas Fight, Go Texas Fight!"

Funny shit.

I gotta agree, lmao

BUSTING UP HERE

ROTFLMAO

I'm in laughing convulsions here. My sides ache.





Oh crap. I gotta' change my drawers now.

Definately a good one......I'd give it 4 thumbs up but I only have 2.  You know it's good when you have to wait to stop shaking in laughter to type. Mind if I share this with some people?

I wish that is what had been said.....it was soooooo great.