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Posted: 9/19/2001 2:35:59 PM EDT
[#1]
my uncle was shooting a spud gun once, and this group of women walk bye , "IS THAT A BAZOOKA?!". His spud gun has since broken.
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Posted: 9/19/2001 2:41:18 PM EDT
[#2]
thaks, that's great, keep em coming, lol.
OffRoad |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 2:51:45 PM EDT
[#3]
I call this the Kid, the Cop and the Soccer Mom.
The city I work in hosts an annual pre season NFL game. I went to the stadium to watch the workouts on Sunday night, the game is a Monday night game. I was standing near the opening to the stands inside the stadium and this little boy about 5 years old who was with his mom kept looking at me. Not unusual as I always get looks from kids when I'm in uniform. The kid finally says to me "Is that a real gun?" I say "Yes it is" he says "guns are bad" I say, " guns aren't bad, people who misuse them are bad, a gun by it's self never hurt anyone". His mother looked horrified. She says "I'm trying to teach my son right, and I don't appreciate you saying that" I say "then teach him the truth". She drags the kid off in a huff muttering something to him. True story, happened in this summer. Not really funny but I got some satisfaction from the encounter. |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 3:08:54 PM EDT
[#4]
Okay like 6 years ago my uncle was down from Oregon at our house, staying with us for a week or so. Well our annoying next door neighbor comes over with her little over-protected kids (let me tell you, these kids were serious brats who got just about everything they wanted on a whim) and asks us to, get this, to show her kids some toy guns my younger brother had. She wanted to "educate" her children about guns, and was so damn paranoid she didn't even allow toy guns in the house, LOL! Well my uncle's out at his truck and hears this, and decides to be helpful by showing the kids the real thing, a handgun he had in the truck. Ya shoulda seen the look on her face, priceless! [:D][:D][:D]
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Posted: 9/19/2001 5:54:27 PM EDT
[#5]
Or how about the twenty-something who was given a gas-operated shotgun and wanted to know where to add the gas.
Or the police acadamy cadet who picked up 500 bullets cheap, but had to return them a week later for cartridges. |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 6:05:39 PM EDT
[#6]
Had a Lady come into the gun shop to buy ammo for her husband's deer rifle. I ask what caliber? She gets pissed because I won't sell her ammo for the rifle cause shes a woman, i don't respect her like a man etc., and asks to see the manager.
Well mam we start here at .22hornet and work up to .460weatherby.............that will be $356.21. Paper or Plastic Ma'am??? Ma'am??? [:D] |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 6:06:14 PM EDT
[#7]
My best story is the one we have all heard. Deer hunting season comes around and Soccer mom’s rally to save the poor innocent deer. Some of them have even been feeding deer behind their houses.
Well to make a long story short Soccer Mom is driving down the street one-day and BAM! Bambi comes through the windshield killing her. This is about the time you hear all the other soccer mom’s crying about why nothing was done. I know it is grim but stupid people used to die. Now they are deified. |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 6:29:35 PM EDT
[#8]
There was a county legislator who opposed LEO's carrying firearms off-duty. She also was successful in banning the use of animal picture and life size foam deer targets at the county range. You can only use the center section of silhouette targets and of course bad guy photo targets are prohibited.
How about the idiots that wanted the Town of Fishkill to change its name to Fishsafe! Large areas of the North East were settled by the Dutch and "kill" means creek or stream in Dutch. |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 6:43:38 PM EDT
[#9]
One of my close friends (peace officer) is in a gun store when a female police officer walks in to return a Smith and Wesson handgun and get her money back. She was returning a single stack Smith, a 3906 I think, because it only came with one magazine and not two. The mag was in the box the entire time wrapped in that usual Smith and Wesson paper, she thought it was a cleaning kit........duh. They took the gun back anyway believe it or not.........glad she does not work at my agency, we have enough idiots already.
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Posted: 9/19/2001 7:51:10 PM EDT
[#10]
Not sure if you'll find this funny, but perhaps ironic.
She had God Bless America on her back window & peace signs on all the other windows of her car! So apparently, even after all the death & destruction, she prefers peace? Not going to happen without payback. We lay down now & they will walk all over the US. Sorry...not really funny but thought it was weird. |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 8:04:29 PM EDT
[#11]
Last winter my buddy came home to find a woman driving a Sidekick (or similar car) up the driveway from the backside of his place. He stopped her and asked her what she was doing, and she explained that she saw a poor frozen deer and she wanted to help it.
The "deer" was a 3-D archery target; I guess all the live deer in that area stand around and let the snow accumulate six inches deep on their heads and backs! It wasn't too many days til that deer was dieing in the front yard with an arrow poking out of its side. [rolleyes] |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 8:07:51 PM EDT
[#12]
At a check station near Fort Wood a yahoo brought in a mule - another friend asked the guy if he thought the farmers around there had time to put shoes on the deer![:)]
How the hell do you drag a mule out of the woods? |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 8:12:02 PM EDT
[#13]
I looked left, I looked right,
I have sheeple in my sight. I look up, I look down, More sheeple are all aroun'. Looking in, looking out, Sheeple all about. [It's late, give me a break!] |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 8:13:17 PM EDT
[#14]
What's up with the post counter?
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Posted: 9/19/2001 9:28:35 PM EDT
[#15]
Today at a shop I just found (my first visit to this little shop I saw way off the beaten path of highways here), I was picking up some Police grade OC spray, and this guy walks in to buy a pistol. He gets carded to look at them, and starts looking at a Beretta 92.
Guy says, "I have a stupid question: What's this thing on the side?" [shock] Shop worker, "It's the safety switch, in the up position it fires, in the bottom, it decocks the gun, and prohibits firing." Guy: "Oh, that's what that does... I have another stupid question: How many bullets does it hold?" Shop worker, "Each Mag holds 15 rounds." Guy: "What's a mag?" [rolleyes] Shop worker, "It's the magazine, it hold the rounds, and is inserted in the handle of the pistol." (I can't believe this worker can keep a straight face!!!) *** I can barely contain my hysterical laughter, so I immediately put the SAR1 down (so I wouldn't scratch if I resorted to R'ingOFLMAO) & duck behind the ammo shelves and turn red until I regain composure. *** Guy: "So, do I need a permit or something to buy this?" Shop worker, "Yes, for handguns and assault rifles, a permit to purchase is required." Guy: "Where do I get one?" Shop worker, "Downtown Minneapolis's old courthouse building, the one at 3rd ave and 5th st that looks like an old medieval castle. Go to room 1A... License investigation/issue department. They will check your background, and if..." Guy: "Oh, okay." {He walks away, and we hear his car start} WE ALL DIED LAUGHING OUR A$$E$ OFF!!! ROFLMAO!!! Still to this minute I chuckle when I tell people about the people I saw in there!!! These were COMPLETE ANTI's finally waking from their false sense of security... Anyway, I walked out of the gunshop only wanting to check their SAR's, AR15's (pricing mostly), and also checking their AR mag prices. They were asking about $35 for 30rd used USGI magazines! $25 for (Used) Adventureline 20 rounders... Prices in general here I think jumped 5% to 15% due to demand. (Rant B Finished) I walked out contemplating the purchase of an Israeli gasmask/filter setup, but just bought some OC spray, Web belt, H-suspenders, and AR15/M16 mag pouch. When I got home I tried it on, assembled my other USGI stuff on it, (K-bar, canteens, etc) and checked its fit (which was perfect after a little adjusting). All in all, today was a good day! I got a great free laugh, dug through some Mil-Surplus gear, and had a fun day. -inuhbad |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 10:17:24 PM EDT
[#16]
He gets carded to look at them That's a sheeple story all by itself. TOR Live Free Or Die |
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Posted: 9/19/2001 10:37:59 PM EDT
[#17]
"He gets carded to look at them,"
TOR beat me to it. You get "Carded" to look at a gun? Damn this country IS falling apart. All my life, I've visited gun shops. You walk in, look at the displays behind the counter and the short guns under glass. I'm usually acting disinterested to keep a salesman off my ass. If you see something you REALLY, REALLY want the comment to the clerk is "Hmm, whats' that..." This is a statement made after bracing yourself for the oncoming assault sales pitch, As they throw the weapon in your hands in an effort for you to take it home with ya. I read the stories from you guys in the socialist parts of the country with dread. The crap you endure is creeping ever closer to the southeast... Enjoy it while we can and stock up I guess. Hell, Think I need to go buy something while it's still an easy thing to do |
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Posted: 9/20/2001 1:10:05 AM EDT
[#18]
My mother asked me why I need "that big gun for". Gun in question was a 22 ruger pistol with a bull barrel. I told here it was for grizzly bears.
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Posted: 9/20/2001 7:16:50 AM EDT
[#19]
To bring this topic back around to the Soccer Mom topic...
I drive an armoured car for work, and a few of my customers are in shopping centers near Wal Marts, or other stores like that. So, I often sit for long periods of time in my van in the parking lot while waiting on a customer. I see a large number of soccer moms going to/from their cars. An unbelievable percentage of them vandalize cars near them. I cringe evertime I see a soccer mom yelling at her kids, and in anger, slam her door into the car beside her. I've seen more of these vandals side-swipe cars as she is pulling in or out of the parking place, because she is not paying attention and is screaming at her kids. I haven't yet seen one of these mothers take responsibility for her actions, and wait for the victim to return to their car. The scary part is what they're teaching their kids. Expressing their anger is more important to them than someone else's property. Are their kids going to grow-up thinking like this? Any more non-gun related Soccer Mom stories? |
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Posted: 9/20/2001 7:42:37 AM EDT
[#20]
My mother-in-law has (in the past) confronted me a few times about why I have so many guns, why I NEED a handgun, why I NEED a "macheengun" (20"Bushmaster and SAR1)and SO MUCH ammo, etc. Seems she listens to Oparah and Rosie and worries about her daughter and Grandkids. On Sept. 12 I got a call from her asking me if we had ENOUGH guns, ammo, SHTF stuff, etc. She even offered $1000 to buy a 5k generator and switchgear set-up or anything else we might NEED!
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Posted: 9/20/2001 11:14:27 AM EDT
[#21]
Quoted: My mother-in-law has (in the past) confronted me a few times about why I have so many guns, why I NEED a handgun, why I NEED a "macheengun" (20"Bushmaster and SAR1)and SO MUCH ammo, etc. Seems she listens to Oparah and Rosie and worries about her daughter and Grandkids. On Sept. 12 I got a call from her asking me if we had ENOUGH guns, ammo, SHTF stuff, etc. She even offered $1000 to buy a 5k generator and switchgear set-up or anything else we might NEED! Interesting how quickly attitudes change. My girlfriend has this ultra-liberal female friend (who graduated from Brown) that argues with me every chance she gets about my owning guns. Well, on Sept 12, she told my girlfriend that she's happy to know "someone will be able to protect her if something happens" [b]A liberal is a conservative who hasn't experienced crime yet.[/b] |
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Posted: 9/20/2001 11:39:36 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted: Interesting how quickly attitudes change. My girlfriend has this ultra-liberal female friend (who graduated from Brown) that argues with me every chance she gets about my owning guns. Ah- a PC "Brown shirt"-ask her if she thinks David Horowitz has a right to publish articles against slavery reparations in the school paper... a friend of mine's wife goes to Brown, doing a mathematics PhD. She's no brown shirt, though- she has her own FAL..... Well, on Sept 12, she told my girlfriend that she's happy to know "someone will be able to protect her if something happens"] Give her a rude surprise- make her stick to her liberal principles, and tell her to dial 911, lilke the rest of the sheeple. Or- better yet, tell her she can stay at your house, but has to live out back in the doghouse :^) [b]A liberal is a conservative who hasn't experienced crime yet.[/b] And a libertarian is the guy standing over the dead perp, with a smoking gun... |
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Posted: 9/20/2001 11:42:01 AM EDT
[#23]
As tempting as it is to laugh at the uninformed, it might be to our benfit to welcome them aboard instead. I would have preferred to see the kid walk out of the shop with some knowledge,confidence and the desire to be a gun owner. We all were ignorant rookies at some point.
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Posted: 9/20/2001 11:56:55 AM EDT
[#24]
Not a humerous story, but one that will make you shake your head. When my bleeding heart sister was living in DC, they had the whole nine yards of security on their townhouse, alarm system, bars on the doors & windows, etc.. So a couple of hooligans see them coming home, open the door and kill the alarm. Then, they let a puppy loose which runs up the steps. So my brain surgeon of a sister graps the dog and holds it while they walk up the steps to get it. (you know what's coming) They pull a gun and order them inside and proceed to rob them blind.
What does my sister think of the whole thing? Not that they broke a half a dozen of the most stringent/worthless gun laws in the country, but that "it's society's fault" because they had no other options in life. BTW, she still asks me why anyone would need to own "an Uzi". |
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