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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:07:53 PM EDT
My wife hasn't put out in forever. And when (if) it happens she makes a big deal out of it like I'm asking her to give me a kidney. She blames it on breastfeeding. Or her birthcontrol. Or the fact that shes tired. I could probably count on my hands how many times I've been laid in the last 6 months since my youngest son was born. It fucking sucks. Before the kid was born I was getting EVERYTHING real regular. Like she actually liked me. Now that the baby is here she's got no time for me anymore. So WTF is it just me or did anyone else out there get forgotton once their kid was born?
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:09:51 PM EDT
[#1]
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:11:18 PM EDT
[#2]
Making a fresh pot of coffee for this one.
Tagged for pics, poll and ensuing hilarity. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:12:00 PM EDT
[#3]
maybe she is getting it from someone else...
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:12:23 PM EDT
[#4]
Hang in there, dude. Things will get better over time.
Or you'll remember what your hands are for...
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:13:06 PM EDT
[#5]
Check the thread of a few days ago on the same topic. Once married guy hasn't gotten laid once in 2 years.
"There will ALWAYS be a good excuse." ETA: "married guy". |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:13:11 PM EDT
[#6]
Not so much. However, today is my b-day.
 Nevermind. 
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:13:25 PM EDT
[#7]
get used to it because when she does finally get into the mood, your kid is going to be playing cockblocker.
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:13:35 PM EDT
[#8]
thats not funny ok it is a little. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:13:46 PM EDT
[#9]
TWO STORY HOUSE
A man went before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviewed some papers, then said, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man said, "I live in a two-story house." The judge replied, "What kind of a reason is that? What's the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers, "Well, your honor, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'" |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:15:27 PM EDT
[#10]
She can't cut me off....
She doesn't know where I'm getting it.
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:15:32 PM EDT
[#11]
Yeah. Women like to think of it as "giving you their gift". What a joke. I couldnt count how many times my ex "re-gifted" that thing.
Its an age old problem.....Women need a reason, men only need a place. Tell her if she doesnt do her wifely duties your gonna rub one out on her face tonight while shes sleeping. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:16:04 PM EDT
[#12]
 ok, so it may be a bit too familiar for some of us... |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:16:15 PM EDT
[#13]
Sucks for you.
There's another issue going on. Sit down, talk it out. If's she's just cutting off to cut off, then, divorce. The kid will be better off with you guys being ok in different relationships than in a destructive one. Most likely, she's feeling butt-hurt because you haven't done what she thinks you should. Try to find out what those things are, then, do them. It won't help much, but, do them. Just don't over react...My wfe and I have been together for 11 years now, and, it's taken on or two talks that hurt some feelings...But she's my rock and, my best friend. Oh...And have you actually verbalized these feelings to her? I bet tht would help 
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:22:28 PM EDT
[#14]
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:22:39 PM EDT
[#15]
Yea I have. I've cut my internet time in more than half, I'm only working 40 hours a week now and I'm doing all I can to do whatever it is she wants. I'm really fucking stumped here. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:23:27 PM EDT
[#16]
Seriously though... What I learned a looooonnnnggggg time ago are two things a.)women can get hormonal/fixated on something and they want it a lot or not at all. b.) sex (for women) starts way before the kissy, foreplay, "baby I wana make squishy squishy." Maybe you have changed your tactics... With the baby, maybe she "feels" motherly and no longer sexy... maybe she feels overwhelmed with the kids. Say nice things to her. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:24:46 PM EDT
[#17]
What did she say? Remember, we're not dealing with logical creatures here. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:27:04 PM EDT
[#18]
What I said earlier. That breastfeeding causes anti-sex hormones, her BC is fucking with her, she's really tired etc. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:27:37 PM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:28:44 PM EDT
[#20]
She doesn't see herself as a sexual being, as a woman anymore.
She sees herself as "mommy". Changer of dirty diapers, washer of laundry, feeder of hungry mouths. It does get better with time, and you have to make sure to show her she is still a sexy woman to you, even though you both are covered in spit up and haven't showered in 3 days. Also, make sure you aren't contributing to this with a Madonna complex, that is basically where you don't see her as a sexy woman anymore, you see her as the mother of your child(ren) and wouldn't dare defile her in any way. Just my amateur opinion. Good luck. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:30:25 PM EDT
[#21]
Silly me, I read the thread title and thought it was about circumcision.
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:30:48 PM EDT
[#22]
go to some of the sexsearch sites and mae it look like your ooking for a partner
when she asks about it tell her "I gatta get it somewhere" It will either cause her to think about it and give it up or cause her to think about it and start a fight then you get make up sex win win |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:33:08 PM EDT
[#23]
My bad. I should've seen that. Ok...Have you done any homework that disproves what she says? Mrs STS says she's full of it. (Anti-sex hormones"....I'm not the expert..She's had three, I'll take her word. She may well, be really tired...that's valid. There's somthing other than the mentioned issues going on, i think. You may not even know what it is. If she's not ready to talk, she's not ready to talk. Make the effort enough..(Once to twice a week) so that she may think you are really attentive and not asking your buddies for advice. Post partum messes with some more girls than others...I'm lucky Mrs STS was more horney than ever afterwards |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:33:12 PM EDT
[#24]
Wow. I would never have the courage. do tell. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:33:13 PM EDT
[#25]
I'll bet that you could cut your Internet time to zero, work 20 hours/week and do whatever she wants and you'll see no improvement. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:37:08 PM EDT
[#26]
Please do. Tag-a-roonie. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:37:12 PM EDT
[#27]
I understand this happens alot after a new kid. Especially when the wife is breasfeeding. They burn up a bunch of energy making that milk. But, you can do all the other nice things that you can think of and it still won't get better.
Not always, but it can happen that way. One possible reason is the birthcontrol itself. Some can completely kill a woman's sex drive. My wife and I went through this shortly after we got married. I was convinced the axiom was true, adding a ring to her finger might as well be a padlock to the pants. Rarely will they come off. I got ballsy one evening and told her that the was she was treating me was complete bullshit, and asked her what needed to be done to fix it cause damn it, the problem was getting fixed. After some calls to her Dr, the problem was solved. Now, calling your wife out like that with a 6 month old is not a very good idea, but you should consider the BC as the problem. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:39:23 PM EDT
[#28]
I've gotten it pretty much everyday for the past...geez...two, three months?
Sorry to hear about your loss - women are weird. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:39:53 PM EDT
[#29]
HA! Sex is like an IRA statement-get it once every quarter, whether it's needed or not.
Women are like crack. They suck but you can't stop! 
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:42:50 PM EDT
[#30]
Stick it in her rear while she's sleeping. After she is done beating the shit out of you explain that this was not "Plan A" but she get's to choose again tomorrow night. SBG |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:42:51 PM EDT
[#31]
couple hours later, she's asleep, I'm still pissed off, and get in the mood, few minutes later I had a mess that needed outta my hand, I didn't actually put it on her face, merely turned my hand over while it was over her cheek, nose, and mouth, and let gravity do the rest. It woke her up Do you have any clue how fast a fat man can run?Oddly enough though, she was the odd type that got in the mood by fighting, so we ended up going at it about 20 minutes later  She was pissed I wouldn't kiss her though
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:44:33 PM EDT
[#32]
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:45:23 PM EDT
[#33]
Next time she turns you down, get up, take a shower, shave, spruce up as much as possible. Get dressed.
Naturally, she's going to ask you where you're going. Tell her, "Tonight I'm gonna get laid. You said no." And leave the house. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:45:25 PM EDT
[#34]
If you're not banging her... and she's on birth control...
Who is she banging that she needs to be on Birth Control? |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:45:50 PM EDT
[#35]
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:49:42 PM EDT
[#36]
1. Babysitter. 2. Whiskey-soaked rag (Grandmother's generation did this!) 3. My new invention, ValiuMilk. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:50:37 PM EDT
[#37]
Q: "Gettin' any on the side?" A: "Hell, I didn't even know they'd MOVED it!" |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:51:29 PM EDT
[#38]
Welcome my friend, welcome to Marriage.....I'm on wife #2 and it doesnt change....yeah, it could be me, buuut I dont think so.............
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:52:44 PM EDT
[#39]
Don't come home one night. When she asks where you were say; "Out"
Be prepared for divorce if ti backfires. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:55:30 PM EDT
[#40]
Makes sense (perhaps) to guys - but women probably see sense in it. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 8:56:29 PM EDT
[#41]
HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA! I'm sorry dude!, No Really! It's just that for many of "Us" (Married Males), your suggestion of "Talking it out" or "Expressing Yourself" just adds/delays/compounds or, even worse yet, Compounds Our troubles. You see, We've been there, done that (BTDT)..Got the t-shirt/DVD/Workbook & stickers......And it isn't fixing ANYTHING! Now don't get me wrong, for some married couples "Talking it out" or "Expressing Yourself to her" are great things to do......But for the other 80% of "Us", it's at best futile, and at worst Suicidal. As a 20+ year veteran of such a marriage I can say, with utter certainty that It's absolutely not worked for me/Us. The bottom line in My "World" is, IF: (A.) I love my kids (I do), (B.) I would like to keep most of the things I've worked for the past 20+ years to buy (I would), (C.) I like owning firearms & being on "This" side of a cell door.(Yes & Yes).... Then I have to "Put-up" with this kind of Shit...At least until my kids are both over 18. My two kids are now at the ages (15 & almost 18) that they can observe behavior, and decide on their own if it is "Reasonable", or not.......And both of them have expressed complete wonderment on My wifes thought, reasoning, and value processes...and My choices of marriage/baby-making material. Both have repeatedly given me the "WTF?!? kind of questions sessions about their mother's behavior(s). If it work for you, go for it.....But don't expect miracles for everyone! Tall Shadow 
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:04:43 PM EDT
[#42]
Truthfully dude, fucking relax. Give her space, give her time, be affectionate but not pushy, and let her know you love her. Right now everyone in the house is wanting access to her body and it can be overwhelming. More than likely she is having some postpartum depression to boot. Be a good husband and rub one off in the shower and leave her snatch be for a while. Let her know you still love her and want her, but don't pressure her. She is all hormonal, has been stretched in a million different ways, is tired, breastfeeding, and most likely not feeling sexy at all.
Quit your damn bitching and go get a nice gift for the woman who has whelped your kids for you. Get a baby sitter for a couple hours and kick her out of the house with her friends. Buy a nice bottle of wine, get some roses. I have had stretches of 6 months or more of limited nookie because of the birth of my children, but when the wife came around....it was a helluva ride. Hell, the sexiest thing you could do right now is change some diapers. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:06:05 PM EDT
[#43]
1) how do you use it? 2) will vodka work? |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:14:45 PM EDT
[#44]
Sorry your marriage sucks so bad dude. Mines pretty good. 11 years tuesday. We're a team and we talk stuff out. It's not easy now, and, it was harder the first few times, but, we've never been a stronger unit, and, I don't resent her, or live in fear of loseing everything. I'm sorry your marriage sucks so much and you are in it like a press gang. That's not me. I literally cannot even fathom counting my children's ages until such time as I am not liable for them. EDIT- If your way works for you, go for it.....but don't excpect it will work for anyone but people that live in perpetual fear of loseign thier lives if they actually talk to their spouses. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:19:10 PM EDT
[#45]
You are a family and need to find a way to make it work. Your kid needs you. Your wife needs you. Don't give up. Fix it. Make your marriage work.
TALK to her. Tell her you need her, you want her, you desire her. Tell her that she is your woman and you have to HAVE it. Ask her why she is not wanting to satisfy you. Don't be combative, just talk about it. Work with it. If she is tired, make sure she gets the rest she needs. If she is overwhelmed, find a way to help her. If she is suffering from postpartum depression, get some help for that. If she feels unsexy because her body isn't the same, reassure her that you love her and desire her. If she has no libido, go to the docs and see what is out of wack!!! Something is wrong if she doesn't have her libido anymore. Go back to the postpartum issues...that can be a real possibility. We've got 4 kids. Having kids, nursing, hormones can all wreck havoc on a woman's body. But, it isn't normal for a woman to turn it off. There has to be a reason. We made a pact before we got married. We chose a night each week that would be our night. There is no excuse. It is the night for magic. Everything else we term a "bonus." After 13 years of marriage we've kept the special night and many, many bonus nights. LOVE IT!!! Don't give up....find what is wrong and fix it. Get a babysitter and take your wife out. Woo her like you did when you were dating. She will respond, unless she is suffering from postpartum depression...in that case....dude, get some help. Marriage is a wonderful thing and kids are out of this world!! Please, don't give up. Find a way. Mrs. Ekie |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:27:16 PM EDT
[#46]
Are you delusional? Bullshit. It will only get worse. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:28:47 PM EDT
[#47]
Many times women are on OCPs for other medical indications. The birth control aspect is a bonus feature. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:31:51 PM EDT
[#48]
ya BRAINMAN tell us .  688 |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:32:52 PM EDT
[#49]
no expert here, but if i saw no signs of change over the course of 4-5 months after birth, i would be questioning the motives for the lack of affection. it is not a marriage without the physical emotions, without sex/physicl affection what you have is just a relationship. hell every married man who is "cut off" might as well have a male room mate, probably would cause a lot less headaches too im no expert, but at 24 i know i will die alone rather than die with a woman who refuses to show me affection especialy if i devote my self to her. far too many women out there who are willing to put out to be stuck with one who chooses to keep you without one of the most basic needs. |
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Posted: 10/31/2006 9:34:10 PM EDT
[#50]
Maybe you're not good or not exciting in bed.
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