So I live on a corner lot..in a nice neighborhood in SE Michigan, about 10 minutes to the west of Detroit.

I often stand at my kitchen counter on my wireless laptop. From here I can see out my front picture window in my living room, another window in my living room and out three windows in my kitchen.

Since I live on a corner lot, my detached garage faces the street, but not the street my home is numbered on, and it is next to the garage of them people who live behind me and faces the garages of the people on the other side of the street.

Yesterday as I was working on my laptop, I see a white kid, prolly 16-17 with huge curley 1970's hair come out from between my neighbors garage running and laughing. Then a blue explorer come rolling up fast, hits my easement curb and stops, the kid jumps in to car and the explorer takes off really fast, then stops in my approach. The kid runs back out of the explorer with a motorola razor phone and runs to the side of my neighbors garage stay there for a few seconds out of my sight, I go out my back door and start to go towards them, as he comes back out he is looking at his phone. I suspected he was taking a photo of something. He see's me, stops and is starteled. I am about 15 feet away from him, he runs into the car, and yells for them to go. I get the lic plate number, write it down, then go to my neighbors house to tell him what was going on.

We looked at the side of his garage, all his trash cans are OK, there is nothing missing and nothing damaged. We looked at each other and said "I wonder what that was all about?".

Today I let my dog out the back door. About 2 minutes into it, I heard her barking and blowing a fit. I go to yell at her to be quiet as I did that, the same explorer took off again.

I raised and eyebrow and noticed it was the same plate.

I go out side today to blow my leaves to the curb (city comes by and picks them up) and I cut the grass. As I am cutting the grass right where my 4" cedar fence meets my house, I notice a fresh, long brown turd. It is no doubt from a human.

No I get it. I go back to my neighbors house, knock on his door, tell his wife what I found. We went back for a second look. Sure enough, we find a the same thing, they have sort of a garden/ swing near their garage.

I did not actually witness them sqautted against my house or against my neighbors garage.

If I call the cops, I will be laughed at. If I see them around here again and do something about it, tackle them, hold them down, deploy mace, possible draw down, etc...I am sure I can get in trouble (I would only do this if they were tresspassing on my own property and they were a threat and did not retreat for all you use of force armchair police).

I work the tomorrow and the next day, then I have six day's off. I am going to look at the high school parking lot for the car, talk to the DARE officer, and try to tail them one day leaving school, follow with a video/ digital camera. The school is 2 blocks away from my home. I would do all of this from the public easement and not go onto anyone private property.

I am wondering if you guys here have any myspace skills or similar to search for this sort of thing to see if they are posting it on the web somewhere.

Thoughts? I have taken pictures of the turds and bagged up the stuff that was on my yard. Before I did, I looked down each street with a rifle scope to see if there were around watching.

I double bagged it and washed my hands before posting here.

wasp spray goes liek 20 feet

Put up a sign asking them to come back then you can jump them with their pants down so they wont be able to run.

I so wish I could tag right now.

More than likely, the kids who did this go to the school near your house.
Mosey up there during the middle of the day, wander through the parking lot and see if you can find the offending vehicle.
If you wish to tail them, then you can after you confirm where they park their car.

The attempted "Phantom Shitter"

send the caca for DNA testing

What in the FUCK?!


That is just so weird, I don't see how that is terribly funny or amusing... Now if it was on your doorstep etc I could see the point, but not where no one will find it...

Next time they roll up, let the dog out...

Quoted: So I live on a corner lot..in a nice neighborhood in SE Michigan, about 10 minutes to the west of Detroit. I often stand at my kitchen counter on my wireless laptop. From here I can see out my front picture window in my living room, another window in my living room and out three windows in my kitchen. Since I live on a corner lot, my detached garage faces the street, but not the street my home is numbered on, and it is next to the garage of them people who live behind me and faces the garages of the people on the other side of the street. Yesterday as I was working on my laptop, I see a white kid, prolly 16-17 with huge curley 1970's hair come out from between my neighbors garage running and laughing. Then a blue explorer come rolling up fast, hits my easement curb and stops, the kid jumps in to car and the explorer takes off really fast, then stops in my approach. The kid runs back out of the explorer with a motorola razor phone and runs to the side of my neighbors garage stay there for a few seconds out of my sight, I go out my back door and start to go towards them, as he comes back out he is looking at his phone. I suspected he was taking a photo of something. He see's me, stops and is starteled. I am about 15 feet away from him, he runs into the car, and yells for them to go. I get the lic plate number, write it down, then go to my neighbors house to tell him what was going on. We looked at the side of his garage, all his trash cans are OK, there is nothing missing and nothing damaged. We looked at each other and said "I wonder what that was all about?". Today I let my dog out the back door. About 2 minutes into it, I heard her barking and blowing a fit. I go to yell at her to be quiet as I did that, the same explorer took off again. I raised and eyebrow and noticed it was the same plate. I go out side today to blow my leaves to the curb (city comes by and picks them up) and I cut the grass. As I am cutting the grass right where my 4" cedar fence meets my house, I notice a fresh, long brown turd. It is no doubt from a human. No I get it. I go back to my neighbors house, knock on his door, tell his wife what I found. We went back for a second look. Sure enough, we find a the same thing, they have sort of a garden/ swing near their garage. I did not actually witness them sqautted against my house or against my neighbors garage. If I call the cops, I will be laughed at. If I see them around here again and do something about it, tackle them, hold them down, deploy mace, possible draw down, etc...I am sure I can get in trouble (I would only do this if they were tresspassing on my own property and they were a threat and did not retreat for all you use of force armchair police). I work the tomorrow and the next day, then I have six day's off. I am going to look at the high school parking lot for the car, talk to the DARE officer, and try to tail them one day leaving school, follow with a video/ digital camera. The school is 2 blocks away from my home. I would do all of this from the public easement and not go onto anyone private property. I am wondering if you guys here have any myspace skills or similar to search for this sort of thing to see if they are posting it on the web somewhere. Thoughts? I have taken pictures of the turds and bagged up the stuff that was on my yard. Before I did, I looked down each street with a rifle scope to see if there were around watching. I double bagged it and washed my hands before posting here.

Dude, they are kids.  Lighten up.

what? that's not normal?

Find the vehicle and wipe your crap under the drivers door handle. It's the only logical remedy!

Quoted: More than likely, the kids who did this go to the school near your house. Mosey up there during the middle of the day, wander through the parking lot and see if you can find the offending vehicle. If you wish to tail them, then you can after you confirm where they park their car. Then take a massive messy dump on the hood and windshield of their car

Find their car in the school parking lot and return their gifts to them in a creative way?

Cops love people that are stupid enough to photograph their criminal activity.  Call them...

The question that burning in my mind is "did they wipe?"  Bet you can find the offender by the smell and crapstain in his underwear...

Quoted: If I call the cops, I will be laughed at. If I see them around here again and do something about it, tackle them, hold them down, deploy mace, possible draw down, etc...I am sure I can get in trouble (I would only do this if they were tresspassing on my own property and they were a threat and did not retreat for all you use of force armchair police). I work the tomorrow and the next day, then I have six day's off.  I am going to look at the high school parking lot for the car, talk to the DARE officer, and try to tail them one day leaving school, follow with a video/ digital camera. The school is 2 blocks away from my home. I would do all of this from the public easement and not go onto anyone private property. I am wondering if you guys here have any myspace skills or similar to search for this sort of thing to see if they are posting it on the web somewhere. Thoughts? I have taken pictures of the turds and bagged up the stuff that was on my yard. Before I did, I looked down each street with a rifle scope to see if there were around watching. Double bagged it and washed my hands before posting here.

You are going bonkers because a teenager may have crapped on your lawn and taken a picture of it.  You want to "tail them", take pics of them, look on the net for pics of turds, look through a rifle scope for suspicious kids, and bagged up and saved possible human shit.

I think you are nuts and should seek professional help.

Quoted: Next time they roll up, let the dog out...

That is not an option, she is yelping lap dog that if you yell at her loud enough she pisses herself.

Quoted: What in the FUCK?! That is just so weird, I don't see how that is terribly funny or amusing... Now if it was on your doorstep etc I could see the point, but not where no one will find it...

I can see you've done this before

Even when I was a teenager, the thought of dropping a deuce in someone's yard and taking a picture of it just... didn't seem like fun.

Now, placing a bag of shit on someone's porch and lighting it on fire... THERE'S a good time.

We did more creative things when I was a kid... like blowing things up and putting live animals in people's mailboxes.

call the cops.


They are obliviously not right in the head.  No telling what else they might do.

Paintball gun.

Even if you don't paint the crapper ... zap the Explorer. It'll make you feel better.

I would buy a rottie or a pit bull!

Rub their nose in it and spank them with a rolled up newspaper.

Quoted: Quoted: What in the FUCK?! That is just so weird, I don't see how that is terribly funny or amusing... Now if it was on your doorstep etc I could see the point, but not where no one will find it... I can see you've done this before

No I haven't cause that is just too weird/ disgusting, but I did partake in other mischief when I was young(er) and stupid.

Quoted: call the cops. They are obliviously not right in the head.  No telling what else they might do.

Thats what I am thinking. I am often gone with my job for a few days, I was thinking that if these guys come back, I am gone, my preggo wife is home with my three kids, etc...Besides, how many video's have we seen on TV of kids destorying homes, lighting things on fire, stealing things, etc...This may the 1st step of something else.

But it seems like Dance is ok with that

Quoted: I'd call the cops now.

Me too.

Don't take this shit.

Quoted: More than likely, the kids who did this go to the school near your house. Mosey up there during the middle of the day, wander through the parking lot and see if you can find the offending vehicle. If you wish to tail them, then you can after you confirm where they park their car.

....or decorate the windshield with the offending turd(s).

Dum-da da dahh! Inspector T-stox stars in: THE CASE OF THE MYSTERY POO!!

In 3 AM in the city that never sleeps. Except from 10PM to 7 AM.
MY assistant gets a call from a guy named Zitiforbreakfast (probably an alias) , that he smells something "not very dog like" coming from his yard.
I inspect the yard when i find the offending evidence. A piece of poo!
Zitifor breakfast let out a horrible wail, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
I scratch my head "WHY? its such a senseless crime??"
I pick up the poo and put it in my pocket, maybe the boys down at the lab can find something................................


Stay tuned for more after this message.

Quoted: More than likely, the kids who did this go to the school near your house. Mosey up there during the middle of the day, wander through the parking lot and see if you can find the offending vehicle. If you wish to tail them, then you can after you confirm where they park their car.

Your stalk-fu is strong.

Quoted: I'd call the cops now.

+1

Quoted: Quoted: I'd call the cops now. Me too. Don't take this shit.

I will call after dinner. We'll see what the five-0 has to say.

Quoted: So I live on a corner lot..in a nice neighborhood in SE Michigan, about 10 minutes to the west of Detroit...

You start off with THAT statement and expect us to believe the rest??    Sorry, couldn't resist.  I grew up in Toledo.

I'd call the police and let them know what's going on.  They'll be arrogant enough to do it again.  And you've got the license plate.  Ask them if they can pay a visit to the homeowner, and speak to the parents.  Hopefully, they'll be old-school, and the father will administer an ass-kicking.

This is one of the legit uses of Airsoft.

If you film them, you will be charged with making child porn if they are not 18.

Sure you didnt drop a stogie while doing yard work?

Mmmkay, who dropped a duce in the boy's bathroom?  Quit laughing.  Its not funny mkay?

Quoted: Quoted: So I live on a corner lot..in a nice neighborhood in SE Michigan, about 10 minutes to the west of Detroit... You start off with THAT statement and expect us to believe the rest??    Sorry, couldn't resist.  I grew up in Toledo. I'd call the police and let them know what's going on.  They'll be arrogant enough to do it again.  And you've got the license plate.  Ask them if they can pay a visit to the homeowner, and speak to the parents look at the cell phone.  Hopefully, they'll be old-school, and the father will administer an ass-kicking.

Nothing beats evidence preserved by the perp himself...

Scare the mad pooper in the middle of his act.  Hopefully he will fall in his own pile and then hop back in his friends car!

If its happening the same time of day each time just set your lawn sprinkler system to be on during that time frame.

Quoted: Dude, they are kids.  Lighten up.

Let me guess, you must live in a damn apartment with no yard or property of your own - right?

That would explain your casual attitude towards trespassing on and defacing PRIVATE property.

Kind of like a young arrogant liberal, just before they get a job and pay some taxes...

Motion activated lawn sprinkler!

Seriously though, license plate number -> cops -> parents -> kids
If the parents don't do something, then it's time to go confront the crapper while he has his pants down.

Quoted: If its happening the same time of day each time just set your lawn sprinkler system to be on during that time frame.

Let the law enforcement handle it.  You have enough.

Shameless Shitting Status
www.poopreport.com/Shameless/Content/Status/status.html

Be happy its not on fire in a paper bag on your porch.

Quoted: Quoted: So I live on a corner lot..in a nice neighborhood in SE Michigan, about 10 minutes to the west of Detroit. I often stand at my kitchen counter on my wireless laptop. From here I can see out my front picture window in my living room, another window in my living room and out three windows in my kitchen. Since I live on a corner lot, my detached garage faces the street, but not the street my home is numbered on, and it is next to the garage of them people who live behind me and faces the garages of the people on the other side of the street. Yesterday as I was working on my laptop, I see a white kid, prolly 16-17 with huge curley 1970's hair come out from between my neighbors garage running and laughing. Then a blue explorer come rolling up fast, hits my easement curb and stops, the kid jumps in to car and the explorer takes off really fast, then stops in my approach. The kid runs back out of the explorer with a motorola razor phone and runs to the side of my neighbors garage stay there for a few seconds out of my sight, I go out my back door and start to go towards them, as he comes back out he is looking at his phone. I suspected he was taking a photo of something. He see's me, stops and is starteled. I am about 15 feet away from him, he runs into the car, and yells for them to go. I get the lic plate number, write it down, then go to my neighbors house to tell him what was going on. We looked at the side of his garage, all his trash cans are OK, there is nothing missing and nothing damaged. We looked at each other and said "I wonder what that was all about?". Today I let my dog out the back door. About 2 minutes into it, I heard her barking and blowing a fit. I go to yell at her to be quiet as I did that, the same explorer took off again. I raised and eyebrow and noticed it was the same plate. I go out side today to blow my leaves to the curb (city comes by and picks them up) and I cut the grass. As I am cutting the grass right where my 4" cedar fence meets my house, I notice a fresh, long brown turd. It is no doubt from a human. No I get it. I go back to my neighbors house, knock on his door, tell his wife what I found. We went back for a second look. Sure enough, we find a the same thing, they have sort of a garden/ swing near their garage. I did not actually witness them sqautted against my house or against my neighbors garage. If I call the cops, I will be laughed at. If I see them around here again and do something about it, tackle them, hold them down, deploy mace, possible draw down, etc...I am sure I can get in trouble (I would only do this if they were tresspassing on my own property and they were a threat and did not retreat for all you use of force armchair police). I work the tomorrow and the next day, then I have six day's off. I am going to look at the high school parking lot for the car, talk to the DARE officer, and try to tail them one day leaving school, follow with a video/ digital camera. The school is 2 blocks away from my home. I would do all of this from the public easement and not go onto anyone private property. I am wondering if you guys here have any myspace skills or similar to search for this sort of thing to see if they are posting it on the web somewhere. Thoughts? I have taken pictures of the turds and bagged up the stuff that was on my yard. Before I did, I looked down each street with a rifle scope to see if there were around watching. I double bagged it and washed my hands before posting here. Dude, they are kids.  Lighten up.

Nice Quote-fu you got workin' there.  -Snip- is for pussies!

Teenagers defacating on our lawns in broad daylight, then taking pictures.

They probably just want to post a Dinner Pic™.

some states may differ but if you have a complete plate  number. you may visit local dmv and obtain address of registered owner under open records law. pay a visit to said parents.

That's why we have 1000 FPS PELLET RIFLES.


CJ