It has been six months since I left for college. I'm sorry I haven't written more often and I'm very sorry for my unthoughtfulness. I'm sure you have been worried about me. Let me bring you up to date, but before you read on please sit down, OK Don't read any further until you're sitting down. OK? Good.
I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got from jumping out of the window of my dormitory when it caught on fire several months ago, are pretty much healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital. Mom always said the girls in our family heal fast. In fact, I can almost see normally again and I only get headaches three times a day now.
Fortunately, the fire and my jump were witnessed by a gas station attendant who called 911. He's so sweet and even visited me in the hospital. Since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt out dorm he invited me to move into his apartment. It's really his parents basement fixed up but it's kinda cute. He is a really good person and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set a date yet but I'm sure it will be before I start to show.
That's right, Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant! I know how much you are both looking forward to being Grandparents, and I know you will give this baby the same love, attention, devotion and care that I got as a baby. We would get married now but we both failed our premarital blood tests due to a minor infection. He had told me about it before hand but dumb me, I caught it anyway. Not to worry the doctor said the daily penicillin injections should clear it up in a month.
I know you will welcome him to the family with open arms. He is so kind, and although not well educated, he is ambitious - just like Dad. Also he is of a different race and religion than ours but I know after all you years of teaching me tolerance, that you won't mind the fact that he is a little darker than us. I'm sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too! I am told his father is an important gun bearer in his native African village. That is an important governemnt position where he comes from.
Well, I guess that is all! Now you know why I wanted you to sit down. Now that you are adjusting let me say - there was no dorm fire, I didn't suffer a concussion or skull fracture, I wasn't in the hospital, I'm not pregnant, I'm not engaged, I don't have syphilis and there is no boyfriend of a different race or religion. However, I DID vote for Gov. Bush and I just wanted you both to see this in it's proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
Chelsea
P.S. Stanford is great..I love it but miss you both and Socks too.
P.S.S. Dad, please give my best to Monica and the others.