Because I swear, occasionally, mine smell like peaches! Just a wee bit fruity!

Reminds me of the time I was on a 5 hour drive north to the Lake Tahoe area and my aunt kept farting in the car, my god they were the most annoying things in the world. They didn't smell quite *right* if that's even remotely possible, instead of being totally offensive and smelling like **** they had some kind of wierd fragrant smell as if she was farting some kind of really obnoxious perfume. It was just enough to say, "hi there" and let you know who just cut the cheese but the aroma was such that it annoyed you more than it disgusted you.


Well, it's been awhile since we've had a real thought provoking discussion.   Being that a good majority of us actually enjoy this sort of banter I decided to start a farting thread, chances are we've all got a certain experience we'd like to share or that enough of us have what can only be described as "fond" memories of past gas.


Depending on the success of the thread I'm saving a few real winners for later.   Hmmmmm, do I mean stories or farts?   Maybe both?

Do my farts stink?

How else would deaf people be able to enjoy them too.

Mine have been potent tonight.

Thanks for sharing.

Does the phrase "We hit a new low" mean anything to you??

sgtar15

Watch out!!!!
Those fruity odors are obviously
homosexual pheromones.

Oh just wait, this is one of those threads that can redefine "new low" at any moment.



But how many of us here have some pretty fond hunting memories that involve a few choice moments inside a hunting blind or inside a cramped vehicle when they "shared" a special moment with their buddies or had one shared with them?

Mine dont bother ME! a bit.

Fine Ugly---I'll bit (read toot).

My farts stink so bad that the smell has actually caused illegal immigrants to go back to their homeland[:D][:D]!!!

sgtar15

I swear, my occasional bouts of flatulence, while quite impressive sounding, do not smell.

I work with a bunch of men who, when they break wind, smell like death. Like rotting flesh. I have smelled better corpses.

I have noticed that vegetarians usually have  the most pungent odor.

I tried, but I couldn't resist responding.

How's that for a new low.

LOL



Oh yeah?   Well back in the 3rd grade I was actually kicked out of my class for ripping a fart that stunk so bad.


My friends who were seated on the opposite side of the class were making jokes about me for some reason so I made a plan to deal them some suffering.   I got up out of my seat to go sharpen my pencil but made sure I took the long way around the class going right by their seats, as I walked by I did a classic "crop dust" on their row.   By the time I walked back to my side of the class and sat down at my seat over half the class was yelling at me.   By the time my teacher caught wind of my foulness I was seriously imbarrased, to make matters worse she decided to make fun of me too right before kicking me out of class.    The one thing that makes me laugh hysterically to this day is that my teacher was a first generation immigrant from asia and she had a very thick accent, it was so funny to hear her mixing up letter sounds that I was laughing for 1/2 an hour while I had to sit outside and "vent."   To think about her saying, "awwww, Bwyan, you fawts stwink, get owt of my kwass"(ahhh, bryan, your farts stink, get out of my class), just makes me laugh even to this day.

UglyGun,
This fruity smell thing of yours is troubling.
I have never, Repeat, NEVER, had anything fruity
any where near the area in question. If you are trolling the boards for homophobes, sign me up as anti homo.
Good Luck.

You want bad?   Don't ask about the week of "2 for 2" McDonalds sausage McMuffins where after I managed to fully saturate my system I could swear that whenever I broke wind I could catch a slight aroma of sausage in the air.   After that, I haven't had a McMuffin since.


Opps, already went and told you.   Sorry.....


It's pretty bad when you fart and the dog picks his head up and starts wagging his tail cause he thinks you are cooking breakfast!

I personnaly am offended by the smell of this thread!!!  I think it stinks and demand that it be locked!!

sgtar15

PS Yes I see the irony since I already posted[;)]

Easy big boy! There's nothing wrong with fruity as long as it stays in that community! It works in our favor as far as the ratio of STRAIGHT! people go. The fruity smellers are smelling, and the womenz are looking for me and you! (except for Cheryl)

I remember being on a fishing trip with a good friend of mine in the middle of December on a 26 foot center console (no cabin) fishing boat in the middle of the Delaware bay (between NJ & Del).
We both had been out drinking too much beer the night before and all morning we were both "letting them loose" and they smelled really bad.

The temperature was in the low 40's with a 10-15 MPH wind and 3-4 foot waves.
We had soo much clothing on we could barely move and were still freezing. As if it weren't bad enough already, it starts raining.
We climb into our rain gear, rubber pants and hooded rubber coat, for the rest of the day.

The funniest thing started happening after putting on the rain gear, my farts were being directed right up to my face. I had no way of avoiding them. Of course at first it was kinda funny but it soon became real annoying. By the end of the day I was covered in the foul stench of fart.

One time when I was a rookie electrician  my foreman was tying in a gutter behind me  I backed up right to his ear and knocked his hat right off his head with the worst killer gas anyone has ever smelled. It was classic.

I routinely ferment as I call it at night. Sometimes is can be obnoxious. Like my personality.

I will relate one happening. Ok lets just say that on a road trip one time I ate 3.4lbs of fresh Bing Cherries. Ok I paid for that for 3 days.

After that for about a month no matter how much gas I might have had there was no smell at all. None whatsoever.

What ever crawled up and dies in side me those Cherries flushed it out. Eventualy it returned.

At this particular moment, my dog is lying under the desk and his farts smell strongly like a 4-5 hour old roadkill skunk.
Since I spent near ten years putting sewer lines in the ground under L.A. and Orange County, my nose does not work very well anymore.
If I can smell it, it is baaad.
Btw, Mine never stink.

My farts smell like Jack in the Box food.

I just farted, and it didn't smell at all.

At times, mine are strong enough to kill small children.  I also like to fart in bed and pull the covers up over my fiance's head![:X*]

ah yes, blazing saddles and beans.
willy

Worst fart ever....

I was recovering from colon surgery. Doctors said that I really needed to walk as much as possible to promote healing and to get my intestines "aligned".

So I started making a habit to walk up to the corner market for smokes, roughly 5 blocks one way. The clerk at night got to know me since I was at a pack of smokes a day. He knew I was recovering and was plesant about it.

Well one night I walk in he saw me had my smokes waiting for me. We were having small talk, when all the sudden I had the biggest urge to pass I have ever had in my life. I just got this surprised look on my face real fast!! The clerk just looked at me and said "What is the matter with you?" I just looked at him and said "Gas... look out"

I preceded to break wind, and I mean break wind. It lasted over 30 seconds of constant passsing, louder than I have ever had, and the smell... Oh my god!! The smell, the smell...

I have never in my life gaged (real urge to puke) on my own gas before, but there is always a first time, and this was it. I started the dry heaves.

By this time the clerk is still looking at me, and wondering what the hell is going on. Until... The gas cloud finally hits him. That poor bastard never knew what hit him. He starts to run, literally, out the front door. But the smell was just to much for him. As he turns to the left he just shoves his head into the garbage can and starts puking his brains out.

I just stood there, embarassed like I have never been before in my life (I stopped gaging by now). Fortunately, there were no other customers in the store.

The clerk finally stops puking, regains his composure, takes a deep breath and runs back in the store grabs the first can of airfeshener off the shelf and empties it.

All I could do was say "I'm sorry" and I walked out and back home.

The clerk and I never spoke of that night, ever.

Gas Gas Gas!

You know, here in the Army, I am attached to the Royal Australian Artillery, and every time we go and do a shoot, using our L118 105mm Hamel's (as used by the English in the Falklands), we all get what we call 'cordite farts', and they smell exactly like the propellant used in the 105mm ctgs! Fair dinkum! Exactly the same, so when I get home from the field, the wife knows whats coming, and I am threatened with the couch for the night!

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