The following story is from the files of the Clearfield Pennsylvania Volunteer Fire Department. The Names of the parties involved have been changed to protect the Firefighters as responsible citizens and the "Trash" that lives in the residence from National and International embarassment.
The following are real people with real lives or lack thereof:
"Crack daddy"- The black boyfriend with the white "Baby's Mom" he is leeching off of.
"Wigger"- The one white guy who lives with them also leeching off thye Black guys Baby's mom. Dressed in the headband, the Timberland Boots. Talking likes he black and even drinking the "Colt .45" Malt licka".
"Red"- The bright red haired former police chiefs son who is a drug head and isn't afraid to say it public. Also a "Wigger" but with the carrot top it works even less for him than the the other "wigger".
"Beauty"- The poor really nieve chick who was snookered into procreating with "Crack daddy" The baby's Mother who is supportign three of the laziest Sons of Bitches, anyone in our fire department had ever met to date.
The Call: 114 S. 5th. St. Clearfield Borough, Basement flooding.(Real address, what the hell, these dorks don't need to be that protected!)
We roll on scene, what we see is a Yard over grown with two foot tall weeds, various debris is scattered around, Including beer cans and 40 Oz. Colt .45 bottles for the kid to play with, along with the broken basement window panes.
2 feet of water in the basement, All acidic mine drainage, (Can't blame residents for that because this street is notorious for it, with unsealed mine shafts being hidden by nothing but 100 year old Sandstone and mortar walls that are falling apart.)
Anyway, it's obvious this water has been standin for months in this basement..Repeat after me class, would be a sesspool but the acid is so strong it kills anything that would grow in the water!
"Beauty" comes out and informs us she tried to unclog the drain with the Plumbing snake, unsuccesfully, I asked her if all the Men living there had tried it too, She informs us Only she has because they wanted her to do it. All firepersonell are looking at each other like "WTF kind of guys demands the only woman present go fix the stopped basement floor drain? Lazy Worthless f*ckers!!"
So she later while are submersible pumps are doing the nasty in this dump, she comes out to run to the store...."Crack daddy" and "Wigger" follow her onto the porch and the conversation goes like this
"Yo, did you get the rent payed yet?"(Crack Daddy)
"No, I don't get paid till tomorrow at work!" (Beauty, Good sign at least someone there realizes the need to be productive!)
"Aw'ight, hey pick us up some 40's(Meaning 40oz. brewskis) while your out, Coors light!"(Crack Daddy) "Yea, hows 'bout a 40 of Colt .45 for me?!?!"(Wigger)
Then "Red" comes home, Pulls up in Rice rocket he wishes was a "real" muscle car, but he is slowly making the major investment to make this car act like a real v-8! He immediatly says "Whew, Glad its the fire dapartment, thought the cops kicked the door in!" (All fire personell are looking at me like "Hey Constable do you happen to have your duty belt? This is drug house!")
So then theres the domestic disturbance and "Beauty" and "Crack daddy" come out on the porch where the conversation goes like this "Hey baby, you know we are only joking right?"(Crack daddy of course, talkign like Chef from south park)
They go back inside, I look at the Fire Chief "Who the F*ck airlifted a Crackhouse into our quiet little town without asking?" The fire chief laughs Bottled water out of nostrils laughing!
So finally the water is out and we are packing up to leave and "Crack Daddy" is informed all the water is out but he needs to have the furnace serviced before they turn it on because it was under water!
He says "Well we'll be callin' all back real soon!" The fire Chief looks him in the eye and says "If you don't get a submersible pump of your own we are not coming back!"
"Crack daddy" says "Would a old Breast milk pump work?"
So we tell "crack daddy" where to by a Submersible pump and all the gear, and he's got that look like "Dude, forget it all our money goes into more important things like Weed!" look on his face.
So we leave and realize our nice quiet little community has been infected by the insatiable need to live life like you are in the Ghetto and are black even if you aren't, examples: the two "wiggers"!
Now we have had Black folks living in our town since the town was formed, but thats just it they are Black Folks, in fact some are fellow firemen who were with us at this call, "Crack Daddy" exemplifies the true Hood Black and is trying to convert our town to "the Hood"
It was funny watching them all look at "Crack Daddy", when he tried to address them like they were all of the same cloth and outr black members just looked at him with this "We ain't nothing like you, and you kid are a disgrace to the race!!"
So we go back to the Hole in the front of the Firehall we crawled out of, and are cleaning our stuff up and putting it away, and the chief is on the phone with dispatch.
He told them "Unless that house is in flames, don't dispatch us there for anything ever again!!"
I left with a new found appreciation for the fact there are still some folks and in fact most of community that still don't want to go be part of the Lowest possible social denominator, and join the people who've become the Losers.