Sorry if it's a DUPE, but I laughed my ass of at it.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you
in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I
told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry
department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like
it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was
going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not
for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
knows
I'm smarter than her.
Thank you.