Sorry if it's a DUPE, but I laughed my ass of at it.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you
in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I
told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry
department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like
it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was
going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not
for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
knows
I'm smarter than her.

Thank you.

ROFL good job budd LOL

i dont think that this situation actually occured but for the principle of the matter,

good for standing up for yourself!

Women use sex as a bargaining chip far too much and its good to see a guy with enough sense and courage to stand up against this manipulation and assert some dignity.

The funny thing is that ive been dating and living with a girl for about 2 years now and ive gotten to the point where i love her but im not really IN love with her. Im also not as physically attracted to her as i was either.

she wants sex every day or every day and since i put more effort into the act than she does i only want it about once a week. Well the funny thing is that the roles in the relationship have completely reversed and shes the one who always begs for sex and im always the one who is turning her down. Its kinda funny to hear a woman whine and complain about how we dont screw enough! But the truth is that when she wants sex she will clean up around the house, cook dinner, and cuddle with me alot to try to bribe me into it. That the sort of thing that men do all the time to coax women!

Anyhow men, stand up for yourself and let women know that sex is not a tool or a treat that they can hang in front of you noses. If you have a little patience and dignity from the start you will save yourselves alot of stress down the road!

You better sleep with 1 eye open!

He didn't say anything of the sort. He posted as much at the top.

It's an old joke, but I'm not sure if it's been posted here before.

Quoted: i dont think that this situation actually occured but for the principle of the matter, good for standing up for yourself! Women use sex as a bargaining chip far too much and its good to see a guy with enough sense and courage to stand up against this manipulation and assert some dignity. The funny thing is that ive been dating and living with a girl for about 2 years now and ive gotten to the point where i love her but im not really IN love with her. Im also not as physically attracted to her as i was either. she wants sex every day or every day and since i put more effort into the act than she does i only want it about once a week. Well the funny thing is that the roles in the relationship have completely reversed and shes the one who always begs for sex and im always the one who is turning her down. Its kinda funny to hear a woman whine and complain about how we dont screw enough! But the truth is that when she wants sex she will clean up around the house, cook dinner, and cuddle with me alot to try to bribe me into it. That the sort of thing that men do all the time to coax women! Anyhow men, stand up for yourself and let women know that sex is not a tool or a treat that they can hang in front of you noses. If you have a little patience and dignity from the start you will save yourselves alot of stress down the road!

If she's not getting it from you, she's getting it somewhere else.

i wish, then i could break up with her and not feel guilty about it.

I really love her and shes a great person, but im ready to have some freedom again.

But if you happen to know that shes getting it from somewhere else, first hand, make sure you let me know!

Bump for night crew.

Hehe, I've done that a few times.......not quite that way, but I've gotten that point across very clearly at times.  I've never, and will never, bribe a woman for sex.  I won't pay for it, I won't do special things for it.  If you are in a relationship it is something that should be enjoyed, not bought, sold, traded, and bartered with.  I just refuse to do those special things, and then make them go without.  Entitlement's a bitch when you aint getting what you feel you are entitled to........

Time to put the pants on guys.........take your balls back, and retrieve your man card from her purse.