sick of lending money to friend... how should i turn him down

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - sick of lending money to friend... how should i turn him down

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:31:37 PM EDT

My friend intermittently borrows money from me (like once a year). Sometimes it's to cover tuition bills, sometimes it's for credit card bills, etc. Usually it's like a couple hundred and he always pays me back.

This time he needs $1000 to cover an escapade he supposedly had at Vegas. Now, you definitely could blow $1000 at Vegas pretty easily, but it sounds a little suspicious to me this time. I'd rather not lend him the money. Trouble is, I don't really have a good excuse. He knows I have it, so I can't tell him I'm broke. I guess I could just tell him I refuse, and that he's on his own, but wouldn't that make me sound like an ass?

Any suggestions welcome.

EDIT: He promises to pay 10% interest on this loan. He has always paid me interest on past loans.

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:33:39 PM EDT

[#1]

Its your money. Tell him NO!

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:37:18 PM EDT

[#2]

charge more interest. you have been charging intrest right?

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:38:24 PM EDT

[#3]

"I'm sorry but I made a New Year's resolution to not lend money to anyone."

If he's borrowing money for anything other than a true emergency, he's not a good friend to have. A "Vegas escapade" is an idiotic reason to impose upon you for an interest-free loan. Let him take a cash advance against a credit card and pay them 18% interest--that's what they do.

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:38:54 PM EDT

[#4]

Tough situation to be in. It's one of those things where you shouldn't really HAVE to have an excuse...that's a lot of money even if you do have it. I think my reply would be something like 'I'm not going to be able to do that, I'm sorry.'

'why not?'

'I just can't. Sorry.'

It's one thing to help someone, it's another to be taken advantage of and treated like an ATM.

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:39:48 PM EDT

[#5]

Grow a spine and a set of balls and tell him you just don't want to lend money anymore.

You'll be doing him a favor. Maybe he will realize that he needs to be responsible since his gutless buddy won't pull him out of the mess any more.

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:40:10 PM EDT

[#6]

"Neither a borrower or lender be"

Amazing how friends will treat you like thier personal ATM then bail on you when you need it back.

Sounds like he has been 'buttering' you up for the BIG Score. Pass.

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:41:32 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Its your money. Tell him NO!

Concise and to the point.

(Viper, spell check your sig line, it's making me nuts

)

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:45:21 PM EDT

[#8]

Rather than loan the money, tell him you'll give him the $1000 if he will cut of his nuts and then give them to you.

Then you'll finally have a pair

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:45:53 PM EDT

[#9]

I'm sorry "joe" I have some pokers in the fire and can't do it.

If he has not paid you back promptly in the past then a hearty FU is concise and to the point.

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:46:12 PM EDT

[#10]

Like this:

Got my money?

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:46:16 PM EDT

[#11]

Just Say No

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:49:43 PM EDT

[#12]

I have always made it a point that any money I have is mine and is not for loan to anyone. Only acception I will make sometimes is if were out to dinner and at the end of the evening I may decide to pick up the tab (but that is decided by me at the end of dinner)

Live by that and you'll never have to feel uncomfortable making an excuse, because you dont need one.....Whats mine is mine and whats yours is yours, simple as that.

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:55:08 PM EDT

[#13]

Do you really need "friends" like him?

Posted: 3/29/2006 4:57:36 PM EDT

[#14]

Simple.....

"Sorry man, can't do it the time."

or to put it another way.....

"FUCK NO! I AIN'T PAYIN' FOR YOUR HOOKERS & BLOW"

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:02:53 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
My friend intermittently borrows money from me (like once a year) Strike one. Sometimes it's to cover tuition bills, sometimes it's for credit card bills, etc. Usually it's like a couple hundred and he always pays me back.

This time he needs $1000 to cover an escapade he supposedly had at Vegas. Strike two Now, you definitely could blow $1000 at Vegas pretty easily, but it sounds a little suspicious to me this time. I'd rather not lend him the money. Trouble is, I don't really have a good excuse. Strike Three He knows I have it, so I can't tell him I'm broke. I guess I could just tell him I refuse, and that he's on his own, but wouldn't that make me sound like an ass?

Any suggestions welcome.

EDIT: He promises to pay 10% interest on this loan. He has always paid me interest on past loans.

You are being used. A REAL friend would not repeatedly ask for money for things that could be avoided. Where is the money for bills when he needs it from you...that he can have it later to pay you back? Vegas? fuck no! Lastly, as for an excuse... why do you need one? A simple "no" would suffice.

It'd be different if he had some financial catastrophe happen that was beyond his control, car accident, health issues, etc. But no, this ain't right.

Again, he's using you...IMO, and that ain't a good friend.

No Expert

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:03:06 PM EDT

[#16]

Time to test the friendship.
Say NO, you are not a bank, nor should he as a true friend see you as one.
One of lifes tough lessons, you will not miss him, or would you rather miss him and your money?
Regarding interest, that does make it more business like, and is there a payment schedule which he has or will adhear to? Then maybe...

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:03:56 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Like this:

Got my money?

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:04:20 PM EDT

[#18]

Lending money to friends and family is the worst thing you can do. I never do it, seen way too many hard feelings over it.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:05:37 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Its your money. Tell him NO!

that's right. the more you beat around the bush, the more of a mixed message it becomes. Don't be a dick, but do be firm and uncompromising.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:19:51 PM EDT

[#20]

Take something from him worth a solid 2 thousand dollars that you could sell, draw up a promisary note that specifies the property described will be returned upon reciept of a postal money order, and until the money order is recieved and cashed the property shall remain yours, up to a period of 6 months, at that time you are free to sell said item to recover loaned money with reasonable interest, the rest of the money will be returned to previous owner. It lets him know that you are serious, makes him jump through hoops, and he probably will not ask again. I did it to my buddy, one time he paid, the next time he lost a prime pre 64 winnie in model 70. We are still best friends but he no longer asks for loans.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:23:35 PM EDT

[#21]

Don't be a trick. Tell him "No, because I don't want to".

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:23:38 PM EDT

[#22]

"Pay up sucker!"

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:27:36 PM EDT

[#23]

Tell him the bank is closed. He will have to go elsewhere.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:28:30 PM EDT

[#24]

Tell him to quit being a noob and GTFO.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:28:50 PM EDT

[#25]

C'mon. He is a bud. It is only $1000, which you have, and he has
always been good for it before. What are friends for?

Besides where else are you going to get 10%?

He is counting on past experiences with you, his buddy. If
it were me, and I wanted it to stop, I'd loan to him this time,
but tell him there will not be a next time. If he screws you,
well, now you know he ain't a real buddy, and it only cost you
$1000 to find out - cheap if you ask me.

DanM

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:35:38 PM EDT

[#26]

Seems to me your friend has already established a good line of credit. Why not trust him?

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:38:15 PM EDT

[#27]

I like Beekeeper's approach... tell him you have decided not to be a lender anymore. Suggest that he get a loan or use a credit card (probably not an option for him). You are enabling him if you lend him money. If not lending to him kills your "friendship", so be it!

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:41:47 PM EDT

[#28]

I never give loans to any of my friends, only gifts (dinner/drinks on my decision and in a true emergency where they have nowhere else to turn). Money has it's ways of ruining friendships. If he is a true friend he should understand a simple 'no, I can't do that'. You should not need a reason to give him money, it is yours to do as you please. If he hates you for it, well maybe its time to look for a new friend that doesn't take advantage of you.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:47:50 PM EDT

[#29]

I can count my real friends without running out of fingers and I would never refuse them anything.

This guy doesnt sound like a real friend.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:50:55 PM EDT

[#30]

You may not recognize it but you're some sort of crutch for this friend, having to "prove" it by loaning him money and him testing it by "always" borrowing it. Does he have any thing for collateral? or is it just his word. Test that one once if he does have anything (which is doubtful) and see what his reaction is. Actually I once sold my condo and moved on when my brother was always borrowing money from me. Just didn't like to be tied into that relationship of be the one that "had" something.

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:51:53 PM EDT

[#31]

DRAW DOWN. thatll get the point through

Posted: 3/29/2006 5:57:47 PM EDT

[#32]

Just say no.
If you don't you are a spineless dumbass.
In which case, can I borrow $500 bucks?

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:04:44 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
My friend intermittently borrows money from me (like once a year). Sometimes it's to cover tuition bills, sometimes it's for credit card bills, etc. Usually it's like a couple hundred and he always pays me back.

This time he needs $1000 to cover an escapade he supposedly had at Vegas. Now, you definitely could blow $1000 at Vegas pretty easily, but it sounds a little suspicious to me this time. I'd rather not lend him the money. Trouble is, I don't really have a good excuse. He knows I have it, so I can't tell him I'm broke. I guess I could just tell him I refuse, and that he's on his own, but wouldn't that make me sound like an ass?

Any suggestions welcome.

EDIT: He promises to pay 10% interest on this loan. He has always paid me interest on past loans.

Cut your friend off before you get burned. Friendship is more then saying yes all the time.

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:07:50 PM EDT

[#34]

If you GIVE ME all of your money you wont have it to loan it to him. Case closed.

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:11:41 PM EDT

[#35]

Is he really your friend? Has he come through for you? If he has he is worth a lot more then $1000.

I have a few friends that I would give money to, no questions asked. They would do the same for me.

Also there is no such thing as a loan between friends. You have to think you will never get it back.

My buddy owes me hundreds by now, but he was the only one to fly out to be with me when my Dad died. Fuck the few dollars. You cant buy good friends.

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:18:44 PM EDT

[#36]

Tell him the same thing I tell those who ask me....

Me and the loan officer at the bank are old friends, and we made an agreement ;

He won't put anyone in jail if I won't loan anyone money ! ! !

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:21:26 PM EDT

[#37]

He doesn't sound like a smart man....ask to borrow a $20 bill then lend him $5

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:29:09 PM EDT

[#38]

"sick of lending money to friend... how should i turn him down"

Well, you COULD say, "I'm sick of lending money to you, friend."

Posted: 3/29/2006 6:35:56 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Just Say No

[Nancy Reagan] Just Say No [/Nancy Reagan]

Posted: 3/29/2006 7:42:45 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
My friend intermittently borrows money from me (like once a year). Sometimes it's to cover tuition bills, sometimes it's for credit card bills, etc. Usually it's like a couple hundred and he always pays me back.

This time he needs $1000 to cover an escapade he supposedly had at Vegas. Now, you definitely could blow $1000 at Vegas pretty easily, but it sounds a little suspicious to me this time. I'd rather not lend him the money. Trouble is, I don't really have a good excuse. He knows I have it, so I can't tell him I'm broke. I guess I could just tell him I refuse, and that he's on his own, but wouldn't that make me sound like an ass?

Any suggestions welcome.

EDIT: He promises to pay 10% interest on this loan. He has always paid me interest on past loans.

No offense, but grow some fucking balls.

Posted: 3/29/2006 7:52:42 PM EDT

[#41]

rule of thumb

NEVER EVER LOAN OUT MONEY TO FRIENDS.

if you can afford to live without never getting back just gift it and if you ever get it back well hey thats better.
I found the few times I broke my own rule and loaned out money im lucky if i ever see any of it
a lesson I learned long ago.